The Funny Farm

That's where I'm headed. I'm sure if there were a hidden camera in my house you might all wonder what evil spirit possessed my body this morning. For those of you who think I'm so patient and calm, I'm glad you don't live here....Some times mornings are crazy just because they are. Today was beyond normal craziness. I will try to keep names out of it, but it went like this: one slept in till the 10 minutes before time to leave, no one noticed till then. Then when she didn't get to dress up for stupid "decade day" at school, we had complete meltdown. We had one in filthy clothes that claims it's the ONLY clothes he has. NOT!! I almost had to strip him down myself to get him out of them. I think I yelled something like "change your freaking clothes! You aren't going to school looking like a dirty scumbag!" I never talk to my kids like that! Seriously possessed. Then another, after two days of supposed work on a science project has nothing to show for it. Seriously? When asked "be honest, did you ever plan on actually doing the report?" The answer: "I'm not sure." WHAT?!?!? Wrong answer. Meanwhile, Katy decided she had had enough of her soggy diaper and had been walking around butt naked for about 20 minutes carrying a diaper in her hand. When I finally got around to putting it on her, she had little crumbs and dog hair all over her little bum. Woops. We left to take them to school and when they were getting out, one came over and hugged me and said "I hope the rest of your day is better." Well, it was. Can't get much worse. Actually, I made a silly remark on FB and while there, noticed my daughter, who is supposed to be in class, logged in! Hmmm. Turns out, she had free period and used a friends cell phone. Whitley vouched for her, not that she really needed it, I trust her. Still didn't look very good.

I packed up Katy and Bo and headed to Costco. We had a great trip with very little commotion. Came home, put stuff away and while doing so, got a call from Homer. Those of you who may not know, he is a friend I met online about 10 years ago. (long story) He comes from CA every year for spring training games. He is coming out this week and called to make plans to see us. That's always fun. Had a great nap and woke up ready to face the rest of the day. I did really good at staying patient through spelling tests, vocab review and keeping a certain boy focused on a certain science project that is due tomorrow. Whitley was of great help. Once all the school work was done, I put them to real work. Had to go upstairs today and you know what that means! They weren't moving very fast so I put in a batch of chocolate chip cookies. The smell of that made things progress a little faster. Finally it was all done, kids bathed, kitchen cleaned..ahhhh. Oh wait.. one more...noooooo! Someone pointed out to me that there was a big red blob of wax on the wall about 15 feet up. Are you kidding me?? Yes, one sweet little child dug wax out of my candle, wadded it up and chucked it up on the wall. All my fury of the morning returned. I decided beating him wouldn't really be productive even if it might make me feel better. So...

After he was done with his other chores, I gave him a toothbrush and a big bowl of water and a rag and set him to work in the bathrooms. All the baseboards and around the toilet. I was trying to find the most disgusting thing I would hate to do. Nothing like sticking your head right down where everyone...you know...ewww. I should be happy about this, but I'm not....he did it cheerfully and without complaint. Actually even did a very good job. I just wanted to see some sort of misery. Nope. He's too stubborn for that. At least the bathrooms look better. All the other children are quietly eating cookies and relaxing in my clean house. Maybe I won't go to the funny farm. Maybe I just need to take a deep breath and remember that not too far down the road, days like this are good for a laugh. Every poem even tells me that I will miss those balls of wax and socks stuffed down in my sofa. I'm not yet a believer in that, but I will keep an open mind.