When ye are in the service....

I have really been struggling lately with feeling like I don't have enough to do service wise. Service, to me, is adrenaline. It makes me feel energetic and excited. In a different life, I think I might even have joined the Peace Corp. or the Red Cross or something. Our stake does not do a whole lot humanitarian-ly speaking and I have always relied on that to fulfil my need to serve. For 2 years I have mostly just sat and stewed about not loving this situation and had the attitude of "what am I supposed to do?" I have even gone to the extent of talking to a member of the Stake Relief Society Presidency about the absence of a humanitarian program. I finally made up my mind to find my own opportunities. (Sometimes I'm a little slow.) This is really not easy with a large family. I hear stories of people helping others with their small children in public places, but I always HAVE small children and can't really do that. Excuses, maybe. In frustration, I decided to take it to the Lord. In response to my dilemma and I'm sure with a big sigh, this is what He has provided:

First, a serious "need" within me to do more temple work. I have quite a bit of genealogy work done and barely any of the temple work. I have started that process.

Right before a trip to the temple, I got a call from a good friend who was going a little crazy with a last minute move. As much as they didn't ask for help, we could see they could use some. At that point we decided the living were more in need of our service than the dead. We went and helped them paint.

An opportunity to have a casual conversation with my Relief Society president in which I mentioned my desire to do more. She conveyed this to our compassionate service leader and I have now taken dinners to someone every week.

While taking a dinner, got the tip that a tree needed cutting up. My husband and his teachers are taking care of it for him tonight.

Our Relief Society has started a new thing where every week we draw a sister's name out of a bag and you are asked to pray for and about that sister's needs for the week. Of course, I got a sister I didn't know. I happened to ask another sister who she was and it turned out to be her neighbor. In a move QUITE out of my comfort zone, after FHE, I packed up my whole family with a batch of cookies and a copy of our lesson and drove to her house. She is a little older and widowed. She was really frightened when she saw us pull up outside her house! We told her we just wanted to meet someone in the ward we hadn't met yet. It was a little weird and awkward at first, but turned out to be a really neat visit. My kids were even polite and well behaved. It turns out she has just started to go back to church and is working on going to the temple so she can be sealed to her deceased husband. Ironic, our lesson tonight was on Temples.

After our visit, Glade decided since we were out, we should stop by one of his home teaching family's homes. He has never been, they have become inactive and wouldn't really let anyone visit. Again, way out of my comfort zone. Glade and I and two of our boys, the same ages as her boys, rang the bell. She was quite surprised to see us, but very nice and let us in. The boys ran right off together playing in the other room. We stayed and talked with her for about 15 minutes. Cutest baby ever! Anyway, I feel like she really appreciated the visit. She gave me a big hug and thanked me for stopping by. Glade let her know he would be stopping by more regularly and we agreed to get our boys together soon. We may even pick one up for scouts today. Baby steps...

Lastly, I have had the impression that my service is more needed in my home than out. I have nine children that need to be guided and directed and loved in a way that will make them strong, faithful servants of the Lord. That's not an easy job.

In conclusion, I want to make it clear that I'm not here patting myself on the back or looking for accolades. I want to point out so definitely how the Lord answers our prayers. It took me way to long to go about it the right way and I regret that. However, I'm so grateful to have a continuing testimony of prayer and His love for me personally.