Wallow

wallow - to live self-indulgently; luxuriate; revel

I hadn't ever really thought of it in a positive way before, but that's what the dictionary says. So I guess when you want to wallow in your own misery, it's to do it joyfully....hmmmm..weird. The past couple of days I have had my toes dipping in the pool of misery. Wanting full well to jump in and roll around. But, I know that only leads to dirty clothes and more laundry, sooooo, I'm resisting. Luckily for me I"m aware of my emotions and what usually drives them. I know it will soon pass so to not dwell on them too awful much. Still, it's very distracting. Ya know when you list a whole bunch of events and when you go down the list, they don't seem that bad, but then you throw them all together and all of a sudden it appears really sucky? That's been my week.

On a bright spot, I went to a funeral yesterday, ironic that's the bright spot. Uncle Bobby was a youth guide leader way back when I was a teenager. The funeral was so uplifting and as I sat and listened to the music and the speakers, my heart was very full. Not just for having known him, but for knowing my Savior and his teachings. I feel very blessed and it's nice every now and again to get that burning confirmation that the gospel is true. Being at a funeral also makes one start to wonder what might be said when it's me lying in that casket. Is there anything significant, have I done enough? It's inspiring to try harder and do a little more.

the diet - my main cause of frustration. I have followed it to a T and not cheated once. It hasn't even been hard. BUT, this whole week while on my period, I've only lost 2 lbs. I should be at least 5 more down by now and it totally sucks that I wasted a weeks worth of drops and time and effort for nothing. If anyone cares, do NOT do the hcg during that time, totally worthless. And because I have to quit early to go to Vegas, I will probably only end up around 10 - 13 lbs total. Did I mention how frustrating that is? Totally my luck.

Next week starts baseball in full swing. Spent today at opening day ceremonies and my job was to get all the teams lined up in the right order. All 50 teams. As soon as it was about to start, they said they were running an hour behind. I had to go tell each team and instruct them to come back in 45 min. After I had gotten half way around the teams, the officials came and said we were starting right now. Great. I went and rounded up all the little girls I just sent away and finally the parade started. It was long, but Brookyn had a great time and her team's banner won a prize. I'll probably be a little burned, but that's ok. A tan has to start somewhere!