I did what??

Yesterday morning, Glade misplaced my keys. We have searched high and low, nothing. The key to our car is $200 to replace and I also have a key to the church on it. I was driving to pick my kids up from school and I was thinking hard about where else they could be and the fact that I needed the church key in 30 min for scouts. Who else could I call? I reached the stoplight before my kids school and noticed flashing lights behind me. Huh? I was very confused, why was there a cop behind me, I hadn't done anything. Then it occurred to me that maybe I was in his way of getting through. Right then, the light changed so I went through. He turned his sirens on at this point, so I quickly turned into the gas station on the corner. He followed me. What the heck? It was weird, I wasn't even nervous, just very curious as to what he wanted.

While waiting for him, I gathered all the necessary documents and sat patiently. He slowly approached the passenger side with his hand on his holster. I thought it was rather weird that he would be so cautious with a woman in a 15 passenger that has a license plate reading KYDLIMO. When he finally got to me and asked me for the documents, I asked him why he pulled me over? Now he looked confused. He asked if I knew what the speed limit was right there. I told him I would guess 45. Then he asked if I knew how fast I was going. I had no idea. I must have been totally engrossed in my key dilemma because I couldn't come up with a time I even noticed. He said he radared me at 66. No way! That was my response. I said that wasn't possible. I know I drive fast sometimes, but not like that. I was stunned. Then he proceeded to ask me if I intentionally ran that red light.

Now I was wondering what kind of conspiracy was going on. He was sitting right behind me at the light, he knew I didn't run it. Again, with my shocked reaction, I denied running that light. It turns out that at the moment I noticed him behind me and my brain started racing, the light did change, only it was a green arrow, not a green light. The car next to me went, so I did too. I'm guessing he turned his siren on because he thought I was bolting or something seems how I just went through a red light. At this point my brain is complete mush and I can't comprehend how any of this happened. He looked at me concerned and asked if I was alright. Alright?? I was 5 minutes ago!! He took my stuff and went back to the car. He was gone for almost 10 minutes. That's a really long time! I was starting to wonder if he was discovering the red light ticket I got in December and maybe now I was really in for it.

He finally returned, assuring me that he checked his radar gun and it was working properly. He then proceeded to tell me that since it was over 20 mph over the speed limit, it was technically a criminal offense and he could take me to jail. BUT, he wasn't going to do that today. Good thing, I didn't even put shoes on before I left. He also told me he wasn't going to give me one for the red light thing since I was obviously not of sound mind at the time. I guess I should be grateful for that. He handed me my ticket and told me to be careful of the school zones up ahead. (there aren't any) I went on my way.

Now I have to attend traffic school. I already am required to do that for the red light thing. Suppose they'll let me kill two birds? I'm guessing not and I will now have paid a small fortune to the city. Of all the wasted money.....

Dinner in a Jar

My day went way downhill after all my domestic victories the other day. That's a different post and according to my mom, kinda humorous. Anyway, I decided to try some of the things I canned so I could appropriately recommend them during my class next week. I haven't been a fan of canned hamburger, it has a funny texture. BUT, it has the texture of meatloaf, sooooo.....I made meatloaf and then canned it. It doesn't come out of the jar pretty (could pass for dog food), but it tasted really yummy. I added the canned potatoes and what a great meal. The potatoes were nasty when I tried to make mashed potatoes out of them, but just with butter, salt and pepper, they were very good. So, there you have it, a meal in a jar. Even my kids approved. Just found out potatoes are on sale for 59 cents a ten lb bag. Guess what I'll be doing this next week! Can't wait to taste the London Broil I canned...

1001 Projects

Sometimes I can be a real go-getter. Other times I'm quite lazy. The last few days, I have been in project hog heaven. I had a wonderful weekend away, which I will post about when I get the pictures, and then since I have been home, I can't stop doing stuff. I'm teaching a canning class next week, which got me thinking about that. I have way too many empty jars in my pantry so I decided I would fill them. In the last 36 hours, I have canned 10lbs of potatoes, 13 lbs of meat and 6 jars of salsa. I also cleaned and organized my pantry, made homemade bread, bought supplies for 35 seventy-two hour kits, done about 7 loads of laundry, tried to finish my book before it's due back to the library, and still in process of getting all the PETE containers to their rightful owners. Oh yes, planned an Easter lunch at my house on Friday. I attended my boys last baseball game, rode 7 miles on a bike and ran 3 on the treadmill this morning.

The not so great part about all that is that the seven loads of laundry are all stacked and waiting to be put away, my unpacking is not complete from this weekend, my kitchen is a wreck and I still have too many pages to read in my book. So close, but still so much to do. Hopefully I will not run out of steam. I should try to live more to the motto of "moderation in all things". If I were to do a little each day, I would be nicely balanced. So, I should keep moving while I've got the energy. Can't wait to try my potatoes and steak that I canned! The bread is simply delish..

Baseball and Roadtrip

Brooklyn and Bo had their first games this week. Ouch! I forgot how bad they were at that age. Bo was typical t-ball stuff, you know, five boys all wrestling over the ball no one willing to relinquish possession. Bo coming off the field right in the middle of an inning to get a drink, cartwheels and handstands in the outfield....all the normal stuff. Brooklyn's on the other hand, painful. She is in minors. Most of the girls are playing for the first time. The pitching is awful, the throwing, catching, it's all bad. The worst is the jungle ball of throwing behind the runner, making overthrows and girls who walked to first end up scoring even before another batter comes up. I'm glad I'm not their coach! I love me a good game of baseball, but this is definitely NOT it.

Today we are leaving for Vegas! Yes, I hate Vegas, but Glade and Jake are doing the half Ironman in Henderson (which is where we really will be). We'll be gone for 4 days total. I'm so excited for a little get away. Glade and I haven't been away since we went on the cruise last May. Unfortunately, my sneezing fit yesterday has caused a serious head cold. Just what I need, phlegm accompanying me on my trip. Ah well, I'm glad for the opportunity.

Today is my last day of the 500 cal diet. I ended up at 12 lbs in two weeks. Tomorrow I start on maintenance. This whole Vegas thing came at the wrong time. I would have like to finish out the drops for the last week to see if I started losing again once I was done with my period. I will have to do another week when we get back from Disneyland this summer. I may try to fit it in sooner, we'll see. Stephen has done amazing! He also lost 12 lbs, but he had gained 3 at scout camp and had to relose them, so he would have been at 15 or so. I'm so proud of how well he has handled it. OK, Time to stop playing and get to work so I can get out of here!

What a difference a day can make

Woke up to clouds this morning. It was a complete surprise. Usually I keep track of the weather, but now that it just keeps getting warmer, I don't. I was really excited to have the cool weather and hear the soft sounds of rain. Always puts me into a good mood. My big girls are still home from school this week, which is fun. Today I had them clip all the coupons I haven't done in a really long time. Then I went to Fry's and used a bunch of them. I love saving money!

Lately I've had a little longing to start running. I haven't in two weeks or more. I have to say that my vacation from everything was kinda nice. I did a lot of reading and a lot of nothing. BUT, now I'm getting the itch. Not to mention, Glade has started hanging his clothes on my treadmill. So today I decided to reacquaint myself with it. I have to say I did rather well. It felt good to sweat again. I have the carrot of the SheROX triathlon dangling in front of me. If I swam at all, I would totally do it, but I don't. It's half a mile and in open water, I just think I couldn't do it. Still contemplating on that one.

the diet - Today is my first day without doing the drops. Looks like my total loss is going to stick around 11 lbs. I'm not complaining about that, really, but it was supposed to be more like 15 - 20. When it's not coming off anymore, it makes it much harder to stick to. Yesterday I only ate 3 apples the whole day and still didn't lose any. I don't even want to eat anymore. Today I ate half my lunch and through the rest away. I'm hungry, but nothing sounds appealing at all. Oh wait, a cookie does!! I'll have to do another week after we go to Disneyland in June and see if I can get rid of the other 10.

Wallow

wallow - to live self-indulgently; luxuriate; revel

I hadn't ever really thought of it in a positive way before, but that's what the dictionary says. So I guess when you want to wallow in your own misery, it's to do it joyfully....hmmmm..weird. The past couple of days I have had my toes dipping in the pool of misery. Wanting full well to jump in and roll around. But, I know that only leads to dirty clothes and more laundry, sooooo, I'm resisting. Luckily for me I"m aware of my emotions and what usually drives them. I know it will soon pass so to not dwell on them too awful much. Still, it's very distracting. Ya know when you list a whole bunch of events and when you go down the list, they don't seem that bad, but then you throw them all together and all of a sudden it appears really sucky? That's been my week.

On a bright spot, I went to a funeral yesterday, ironic that's the bright spot. Uncle Bobby was a youth guide leader way back when I was a teenager. The funeral was so uplifting and as I sat and listened to the music and the speakers, my heart was very full. Not just for having known him, but for knowing my Savior and his teachings. I feel very blessed and it's nice every now and again to get that burning confirmation that the gospel is true. Being at a funeral also makes one start to wonder what might be said when it's me lying in that casket. Is there anything significant, have I done enough? It's inspiring to try harder and do a little more.

the diet - my main cause of frustration. I have followed it to a T and not cheated once. It hasn't even been hard. BUT, this whole week while on my period, I've only lost 2 lbs. I should be at least 5 more down by now and it totally sucks that I wasted a weeks worth of drops and time and effort for nothing. If anyone cares, do NOT do the hcg during that time, totally worthless. And because I have to quit early to go to Vegas, I will probably only end up around 10 - 13 lbs total. Did I mention how frustrating that is? Totally my luck.

Next week starts baseball in full swing. Spent today at opening day ceremonies and my job was to get all the teams lined up in the right order. All 50 teams. As soon as it was about to start, they said they were running an hour behind. I had to go tell each team and instruct them to come back in 45 min. After I had gotten half way around the teams, the officials came and said we were starting right now. Great. I went and rounded up all the little girls I just sent away and finally the parade started. It was long, but Brookyn had a great time and her team's banner won a prize. I'll probably be a little burned, but that's ok. A tan has to start somewhere!

Oh the Downtime

This week has been so mellow! Other than cleaning (which wasn't as much as I planned), we just haven't really done anything at all this week. We have hiked two mornings and everyone had their normal church stuff, but other than that, it's been chill. No one has even complained about being bored yet! Luckily there is only one more day. Several times right in the middle of the day, I climb in bed and read. It's been really nice. Sleep in, lounge most the day, go to bed early, watch more TV (movies) than ever. I kinda like it!

We have certainly done our fair share of cleaning this week. All the bed rooms got a deep clean and I found out why laundry seemed so easy this week! Now I have mountains!! All the bathrooms, and kitchen, blinds, baseboards, garage, mudroom....all got a nice once over. I didn't do nearly as much purging and organizing as I had wanted, but I realized that's really mostly all me. They all worked without a whole lot of gripe and we got a lot done.

I went to a movie all by myself yesterday. It's really been a bad stretch for movies. I saw Remember Me. I thought just maybe it would be a sweet, twisty sort of love story. Nope, dark and depressing. He was just greasy and sad and smoking through the whole thing. Way too much swearing and a few steamy scenes. I was shocked at how many young girls were in there. Not good. Terrible ending as well. So, it WAS a nice time out by myself, but the movie stunk. I did a little shopping while out, but nothing too exciting.

My diet is still going well. It's been so surprisingly easy to stick to it. This whole period thing is really frustrating me so I think I'm just going to start taking my white pills again and see if I can get it to go away. Since we are going to Vegas next weekend, I'm stopping 3 days early so I can eat semi-normally while gone. I'm sure I will have enough drops to do another round this summer, after Disneyland! When I walked up to the window to buy my movie ticket, the smell of the popcorn about knocked me down. My knees went all weak, it was crazy. Didn't eat any though. Hoping to squeeze at least 5 more pounds out of this round.

The Little Things

Sunday was a really fun day. Church was good, naps were good and dinner wasn't that great..lol. My roast was too dry. But, Glade and I and the kids hung out and played cards after dinner. We had lots of laughs and really enjoyed that time. Normally we have the whole family over but not on the second Sunday, so it's a nice time for us to just be together. In the afternoon, some of my kids had gone outside and were playing together. Bo decided to get on his bike but his training wheels were still on. The funny part about that was that they were so bent up sideways, they didn't help him at all. He would tip slowly from one side to the other trying to get a groove going. In watching him, I noticed once he did get going, he wasn't using them at all. I had Stephen take them off to see if he could do it. He took right off, no problem!

I'm ashamed to admit I almost didn't take any pictures. But, I reminded myself it was all the little things, the milestones that make up big things. The youngest kids usually have the worst set of pictures. I swore I would not do that to them, so I went and got out the camera. It was a little anti climactic since there was no wobbling, or wondering if he would make it. Just up and gone. He loves it and has spent a lot of time on it since. Way to go Bo!

Monday

We started off with a hike on Monday trying to find a certain spot in the mountains. We didn't find it, but had a good hike anyway. Katy got tired and wanted to be carried, but mostly she did great. We decided we would try again on Wednesday down another trail. Glade invited the three oldest boys to go to work with him to do some yard work and earn a little money. With them gone and Chelsey and Whitley in and out, it was a really quiet day. We didn't get any cleaning done, but that was Ok since everyone was nice all day. The boys didn't get home till very late and the girls had some friends over to watch a movie. That left me to get into jammies and read for awhile. No complaints there!

Tuesday

Lots of cleaning! You wouldn't know it by coming into my house, but we did a lot today. Little things that you walk by and think " I should clear that out" or something like that. I was a little grouchy by afternoon and decided to go get my nails done. The library also had my book in that I was waiting for so I went to get that. We had scouts this afternoon and with so few boys there due to spring break, we had a fun game of kickball.

The Diet

I'm a little frustrated at this point. I have lost 10 lbs, but the last few days have been really slow. GIRL STUFF AHEAD: Since I took my last white pill in the pack, I have lost little to no weight and I started my period 3 days early. I'm assuming that can only be due to the drops. That NEVER happens. I hope that doesn't mean I'm going to have it for 3 extra days, but what I've read says it probably does. I'm a big baby about all that so it really doesn't make me happy. Not to mention I have just felt like crap. I don't know if it's just the timing or side effect, but my back has ached since I started the drops. I have no idea how that could be relevant, but the timing is weird. Hopefully I don't waste a whole week not losing because of my period, that will really upset me. Sticking to the diet has been surprisingly easy. We are half way there and I still feel fine. (not too groveling over sugary sweets) I'll just have to wait this out and see what happens.

Spring Break Begins

It's officially Spring Break. Normally we would do Saturday chores today, but I'm giving them the day off (mostly) because I'm going to work them like crazy next week. I read an article, I believe it was by President Hinckley, but anyway....he was explaining how spring cleaning kind of came to pass and all the things you had to do in the spring (way back when) to get rid of all the signs of winter. It was a lot of work. The whole point of his article was about teaching kids to work. How we don't do it that well in these days and how important it is. He also mentioned the pride the children should show in their own home, such as cleaning and organizing and having it be comfortable and nice to be in. SO, with that in mind, we will spend a few hours everyday doing deep cleaning, purging and organizing. Hopefully Goodwill will be happy to see us by the end of the week!

We are also planning a few hikes and maybe a bowling outing. Stephen and Rhett are at a campout this weekend and Nick and Glade have one next weekend. I really would like to take them camping during the week, but just don't know how to pull that off. I'm sure we will have plenty of fun and not a whole lot of time will be spent laying around in front of the TV watching Disney re-runs. Let's hope.

Speaking of Disney, we got all our plans arranged and we are set to go to Disneyland as soon as school is out. Glade, Nick and Stephen will be gone on a 5 day scout outing so Mom and I are taking the rest of the kids to Disneyland. We did the Disney's Give a Day, Get a Day so we all have free entry to Disneyland. We got a hotel deal with 2 night, stay the 3rd free so we will be gone a total of 4 days. Should be lots of fun and everyone is way excited. I'm going with the boys at the end of May for their 8th grade graduation as well. Twice in two weeks, crazy. I'm excited to do that with them and I love that they want me to go, well at least one does!

I lost two lbs yesterday on the diet which is only exciting because the day before I didn't lose any. Not exactly what to make of it, but it was a little disconcerting to not lose so early. Today made up for it, so assuming I will lose another lb today (that's what it's been so far), I will have lost 9 lbs in a week. Nice! I even put on a pair of pants I haven't ever worn. I bought them a little tight thinking I would fit into them soon and then never did. Now they are even "roomy". Can't complain about that. I took my measurements before I started so today I thought I would try it again. I have lost about 1 to 2 inches around all my torso parts (didn't check my chest..he he) but nothing around my legs and arms. I guess that's really best since my torso needs it the most. Still feeling mostly strong, the smell of cake wasn't that exciting last night, but I was fine. However, maybe TMI but I'll share anyway....I was kissing my husband right after he ate a bowl of cereal and the taste was quite delicious! I hadn't tasted anything like sweet Muffin Tops cereal in a week! Is that cheating??

Brrrrrr

Last night I sat out in the wind (very cold wind) and watched while Stephen and Nick played ball. I had 2 shirts and a jacket with my hood up and I just couldn't quit shivering. I guess if the wind stopped, so did I. I'm pretty much not happy with any weather, if it had been hot, I'd have whined about that too. Glade says I have about a 3 degree comfort zone. I might have to agree. They didn't win and both got hit by pitched balls. Stephen didn't take it that well. He had a rough inning before catching and just needed a minute I guess. At the end of the game, he declares "it was my fault we lost!". That is so irritating to me! Yes, he made a bad choice during a play and some runs scored. BUT, what about the other kids involved in that play? What about all the people who struck out. What about the pitcher who walked 3 kids in a row. It takes a whole team to lose. Knock it off! I didn't let him have a chance to wallow. I was very happy when it was over and I could get into my car, warm up and then turn on the A/C.

Observation of the day. I am aware that I'm too critical and I try to keep that in check, but...doesn't everyone have a few things that just baffle and confuse and in this case, gross you out? I sat between two women at the game. Both were wearing brand name clothes, gaudy sunglasses and had very "colored" hair. Big rings, painted toes, you know what I mean. Very classy and well put together looking. Then it was all ruined. Both sucked, chomped and spit sunflower seeds through the whole game. EWWWWW! I think it's nasty for anyone to do it, don't get me wrong. The chewing, the spitting, the pieces left behind on their teeth, the nasty pile on the ground....it's just gross ....and very unlady like.

My diet is still going well. Last night I attended a friend's Bunko and endured large pieces of German Chocolate Cake, Rice Krispie treats and a bowl of Peanut M&M's right in front of me. Didn't cheat once. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I went with the assumption it would be like that so I had prepared myself. Down a total of 6 lbs now. The only place I can see a difference is in my ring finger. Can't hardly keep my ring on. Guess that means a new one! Looks like we are going to Vegas in a couple of weeks so I may end the diet 3 days early, depending on how it's going. I do want to thank those of you that have been so supportive and encouraging, it means a lot. Onward and downward!

It's Working

As of today, I'm down 5 lbs after 3 full days of the system. I still feel good and wasn't even too tempted to eat one of the very delectable brownies that were stuck right under my nose after pack meeting. I spend more time cooking than normal and eat things I normally wouldn't and use spices I've never even purchased before, but those are all good things. Today I "fried" my chicken and cucumbers together with some onion flakes and salt and pepper. It wasn't super great, but not too bad either. I ate the rest of my cucumber in a dressing mix I made with apple cider vinegar and stevia. Stephen took these to school and gave a few to one of his friends. His friend replied with "I want to live at your house!". So, we've been able to come up with some creative ways to eat the same old boring food. Last night we coated our fish with lemon juice and crushed up Melba toast then baked it. I don't even love fish, but it wasn't bad. There has been question as to whether or not you can eat broccoli and cauliflower so we are only using them very occasionally. We made cauliflower into "potatoes" with our stake and covered them with gravy and it was good and even felt like a warm, yummy meal. Still feel strong at this point.

Pack meeting went ok last night despite my lack of preparation. It certainly wasn't one of my best and it makes me really uncomfortable to be up there when I know I didn't prepare like I should have. After pack meeting, we had our cub meeting and then the big scout meeting after that. I guess it's good to get it all in at one time.

This morning I was able to watch last night's Biggest Loser while on the treadmill. I only ran 2 miles and technically I walk/ran it, but it pooped me out a little. I'm not sure if it was the diet or the fact that I haven't run in a week or if I was just overly sensitive because of the situation. I'm not sure it's good to burn 300 of the only 500 you eat all day. I will have to play with it and see how it makes me feel. I felt fine today, just winded.

More cold, which I love. Expecting rain again this afternoon, but it's sunny right now. I can't say I'm looking forward to the heat, but my kids are really growing out of their winter clothes. Not buying them new ones at this point. Spring break is next week so we are going to get A LOT done. I'm very excited about this. Not only will it make the week go by faster, but maybe I won't walk through my house shaking my head at all the little "clutters" here and there. I should start making a list....

3 days

Finally finished the gorging, holy crap. I won't lie, Olive Garden never tasted as good as it did that last night! Sunday, the first day of 500 calories was really tough. Sunday dinner: meat, potatoes, rolls, deserts galore....it's wasn't easy. It doesn't help that it's just out all the time, the whole night. But, we made it through and survived! The next couple of days haven't been that hard. I've tried a couple of the recipes and they are quite good! Seriously, Melba toast into gravy? Nice! I've only been a little hungry, but nothing bad. If I sit and think about all the things I can't have, I start to wonder how I'm going to make it, but then I snap out of it. I gained 4 lbs on the load days, which is expected, and have lost 7 since then. Basically I'm down 3 lbs in 2 days from where I started. That's encouraging. It's still a very long road ahead, but right now I feel confident. I look at clothes in the stores and think "one month and I can buy those!"

Life right now pretty much just consists of me running kids around to different activities. There won't be a whole lot to post about except who won what game etc. Chelsey set a PR for pole vaulting on Friday! She was really excited. Whitley has an injured knee and hasn't been able to participate like she wanted too. Stephen and Nick are both doing well for baseball and Bo and Brooklyn just barely started. Bo was very cute when he went to his first practice. His coach told him probably ten times what a good arm he had. He already knew that though cuz on the way, he told me he didn't know the rules, but that was OK because he had arms. Gotta love t-ball. Stephen made it to the state Geography Bee again. Glade is probably going to Vegas to run a half iron man before he does the full in July. We are go go go right now. I guess that's a good thing, but I haven't been super disappointed to have all the rain lately (lots of canceled events).

Tonight is pack meeting and I didn't prepare like I should have, but hopefully I can pull it all together. With that said, I should probably get to work on that!

What Have I done?

About a year ago, some of my friends started a diet program that seemed unsafe and unrealistic. I was very concerned and not at all supportive. As time went on, more and more and more of my friends were jumping on the band wagon. It was slightly annoying and even frustrating at times and I was still worried about their safety. As even more time went on, they all lost 20lbs and I was still running and counting calories and not losing much at all. I was less concerned with their safety at this point (they all seemed fine) but still felt like it was a cheater way to do it. In reality, it's just a different kind of "hard". The kind of hard I knew I wasn't capable of. I was proud of what I had accomplished and even enjoyed the exercise and how I felt. There was very little temptation to go the other route since I knew, realistically, I would never stick to it's restrictions. So, I plugged along doing what I knew had worked thus far.

After a great experience at the RAGNAR, my friend posted some pictures she had taken. OH MY GOODNESS! What I realized, is that when someone is telling you they are taking your picture, you stand a little taller, turn to just the right angle, pull up your chin and give a good smile. Pictures, not so bad. BUT when you don't know and you see yourself standing around looking normal, ewwww. It was this that put me to tears that day. Every time I thought of how hard I have worked and how tiresome it is, yet I still look like that. Very disheartening. This is when I gave in. I'm tired of "losing weight". I just want to be done with it. 20 more pounds and I would be in the healthy range. I have started the HCG diet. I'm scared and nervous and not at all confident in my abilities. If I'm anything, it's weak in willpower. I'm telling myself that I'm strong enough and that this is temporary and hopefully the end. I can just live and be happy after that without weight hanging over me all the time. Again, I have no idea if I can actually follow through with it, but I'm giving it the old gung-ho.

The first two days are called "load" days. I thought this would be really fun. You eat as much fat as possible. If you don't, you will be hungry and weak in the following weeks of the diet. I looked at this as an opportunity to eat all the things I haven't eaten in the last two years. Yee Haww! Not so. I feel like crap. Not only is my mind not in agreement with eating a Big Mac and Large fries, but my tummy really doesn't like it much either. Instead of spending the day relishing all the yummy forbidden, I spent it gagging down things I thought I loved. I was on the verge of puking all day. I didn't sleep well due to the very uncomfortable feeling I had in my throat (I'm sure there was still food that hadn't made it to my tummy yet). I woke with the dread of having to start eating again. So, by 8 am I'm again sick to my stomach and dreading the day. It seems rational to think "stop eating" or "eat healthy for a little bit", but the one thing drilled into my head was "if you don't load right, you will be miserable and won't lose as much weight". I'm sure after a few days of the diet I will long for a load day, but right now it just feels awful.

In closing, I want to be very clear that I'm aware of how good I've done and how much better I look than I did, but.....It's not enough. I would really appreciate NO comments telling me I already look great blah blah blah. I could however, use a lot of prayers that I can DO this!

the Smell of Heat

One of my very favorite things to do is lay down for naps with my two little ones. I know what you're thinking, I like my naps. Well, you'de be right, but that's not really what I'm talking about. Everyday, we lay in my bed with Bo on one arm and Katy on the other and this is how we fall asleep. I love it. Lately, however, it's not been that pleasant. I'm sure I've made my view on the sun well known, not my favorite thing. This is just one more reason the heat gets on my nerves. Since it's been in the mid 70's the past little while, the kids are outside a lot. Then when they come in for naps and snuggle up, their heads stink like "heat". It's rather gross. And, because they are on both sides of me, I have nowhere to turn to escape it. Yuck. I guess bath time might need to start being in the middle of the day. Blech!

My Final Birthday

I'm 39. The eternal birthday. Actually I'm ok with my age. I have to admit 40 doesn't really sound that great, but it's all relative, right? I feel better at 39 than I probably have most of my adult life. That has to say something! Woke this morning to lots of hugs and happy wishes from my kids and then headed off to breakfast with Glade. The big girls stayed home from school to watch the babies. They also made brownies which I spent most of the day nibbling on. Not so good. Facebook is great for reminding people that it's your birthday so my email was flooded with nice sentiments. My cell was also busy with nice texts and a few calls. I love my birthday. It's not the big fanfare or balloons or gifts, it's just people thinking of you and taking the time to let you know. That's what makes a birthday great. Glade bought me several cards, one of which sings the song "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" and wishes me luck in achieving my dreams. That's a long standing joke and was quite enjoyable to receive. He's the best! I can't say I was looking forward to my birthday this year, just too busy to make it fun, but it's turned out pretty good. Thanks to all those who helped make it that way. I truly love you all.

just a few of the Ragnar photos

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