Just What I Needed

Sunday was our Ward Conference at church.  I had been asked to substitute in primary that day, but I was really struggling to say yes.  I didn't want to miss ward conference!!  I had the genius idea to ask Whitley to do it, her church is later and she loves the kids.  She agreed and I got to go to my classes.  As always, the morning was a little stressful.  I guess asking my kids to be ready the day before means something else to them because when Sunday comes around and we are still missing a shoe and someone just dripped jam on their white shirt, I get a little cranky.

Sacrament meeting was awesome. I love hearing from our leaders. It also helped me to lose the anxiety I always feel after I arrive at church knowing I just yelled at my kids for the last 15 minutes.  I'm trying..
I went to Sunday School not expecting to be completely moved and filled with hope.  The man teaching was someone from the Stake who I didn't know.  I won't go into a ton of detail, but let me just say his entire lesson was so powerful and meaningful and hopeful I just left there feeling like I was floating on a cloud.  He talked about his teenage son who wanted nothing to do with the church who was now on a mission and loving every minute of it.  See, there's HOPE.  I'm sure we all get different things out of lessons dependent on  our situations in life.  He talked about having Emergency Family Home Evenings right after something major happened in their lives to make sure they could discuss all the finer points of their experiences.  I decided my family needed one right away.  I had to share everything I was feeling.

I continued on to Relief Society where the lesson was on baptism.  I didn't hold out a lot of hope for a great lesson there since it was on such a basic principle, but I was wrong.  Again, so moving.  The whole day filled me with all the ideas and thoughts about what my family needed to hear.  I wished at that time that I was a better note taker.  That afternoon, I sat in my bed and made an outline of everything I wanted to convey including scriptures and stories to tie it all together.  The only real problem is that I'm not very good at saying what I'm actually feeling.  That's where the Holy Ghost took over and made it all work out.

The next morning, I called everyone together.  This was the only time we were all going to be available, except Glade who had to leave.  The lesson went so well, at least it felt like it did.  The kids stayed with me and as I taught and moved from one idea to the next, it actually seemed to make sense!!  It was very exciting to me.  In summary, we talked about God being real, Jesus being our Savior, every one of us being of equal importance, Satan desiring to derail us, God wanting us to be happy and to bless us, Us being strong enough to overcome anything because God does not put us here to fail, having faith in all of the above and believing that He hears us and knows us personally and that if we TRUST, we can find true happiness through Jesus Christ.  But that you must want it, believe it and be willing to DO it.

I truly believe my older kids heard me. I even think they believed me and one in particular may have had for just a small moment, a taste of the Holy Ghost telling him he can do this.  I can only teach and encourage, I can't do it for them.  I can't make them want it or desire it.  I have faith that if I share what I know and believe and do all the things I've been counseled to do as a parent, they will find their way.  But if in the end they choose another way, I won't wonder what I missed.  As for now, I have HOPE.