Not Enough Words

I struggle to even write this post, I can't seem to do justice to the feelings in my heart. Seems to always come out wrong and never as powerful as the emotions that are there. But, I thought I needed to give it a try, so here goes. Lately as I have been reading the Work and the Glory series, I have desired to have more experiences like the early Saints did. I remember way back when I first was learning about the Gospel and all the amazing feelings and aha moments, but as time passes, and knowledge is gained, the intensity seems to fade. Don't get me wrong, all the same convictions and beliefs are fully in tact, but I think I've just become complacent. So in searching out and being more "on the hunt" for such emotions, I have had some great experiences. That's where the injustice of words come in. Is there any such phrase or adjective to accurately describe the burning in your heart as the hymn "How Great Thou Art" is sung, or the all consuming feeling of gratitude and humility that comes from recognizing your own worth and understanding of His awareness and concern for you personally? I don't think so. It's hard to live in the world and have those constant confirmations of Divinity. Somehow I need to find a nice balance of getting everything done that I need to and to still put myself in situations that will allow me to be touched by the Spirit more strongly and regularly.

I can say that I'm blessed or grateful or that I know Heavenly Father loves me and knows me, but those words are just words and can't even begin to measure up to the emotion behind it. As we sat at the Easter Pageant last night and listened to my littlest ones try to explain their limited knowledge of the Savior, or to hear an older child comment about the chills they just felt inside even though it wasn't cold outside, was so rewarding. To hear the sound of the Prophets laugh as he addresses the millions of Latter Day Saints around the world and know that he communes with God is so....fulfilling. It all just sounds lame when written down. Lucky for me, I know that He knows my heart and understands every little corner of it. And best of all I know what's in my heart and that's what keeps me going and brings me happiness in the deepest of ways.