8th Grade Disneyland Trip

For their 8th grade graduation, Stephen and Nick got to go Disneyland with their school. I got to be the chaperone. Long story with Nick cut short, he didn't want to go, changed his mind on the day of and I, as the wonderful mom that I am, made it so he could go. We left at midnight on Tuesday, drove all night on buses and got to Disneyland right around 9 am. Five other adults and myself were in charge of 12 boys. As soon as the doors opened, they all took off running. We tried to catch them, but got chastised by the workers for running in the park. We were all separated within a half hour. We gathered and then separated for the most part of the day, trying to at least have some adult with each group. The problem was that the kids didn't care at all and just took off all the time. Around noon, some of the adults decided to go ride some rides by ourselves since we had lost most of the kids. Turns out one of the other chaperones was a kid I went to high school with. We rode some roller coasters and a thing called the Tower of Terror. I actually really liked it. Takes you up and then drops you. I don't normally like those, but because we were enclosed, it was OK. After a few rounds on those things, I started to not feel so well.

We found our group and went to have lunch. Eating at Disneyland is ridiculous! Anyway, spent the rest of the day doing more rides and chasing kids. By that time, another group had caught up with us, so we had quite a few leaders and very few kids. We eventually just parted ways and went as adults to different things for the rest of the day. Luckily most had cell phones so we kept in touch with them.

By dinner, we were like zombies. We slept very little on the bus ride since a few of the boys did not SHUT UP the whole way there. Even my boys were wondering if we had to stay there for 3 more hours. We had dinner and then went and did a few repeat rides and more chill things. That was the only part of the day I spent with the boys. By ten, we were wiped and so ready to go home. We got back on the buses and headed for home. It was much quieter on the trip back!

Fun note: while there, I met Koli 's (Biggest Loser) brothers. I saw the gray shirts with their names on them and got so excited. I ran right over and asked if they were here. No, they were at Six Flags. I talked to them for just a minute and told them how much I loved both Sam and Koli. Very exciting for me. Should have taken a picture!

This is a building at California Adventure, pretty cool..huh?

This is California Screamin'. I did A LOT of that.

This is the tower of terror. It really was more fun than I could have imagined.

Lastly, Space Mountain. Everyone in our group was prepared for the camera and did silly poses except for me. Still holdin on and screamin!

Graduation Announcement

This is Chelsey's official announcement for her graduation. She didn't want me to make any at all, but it's tradition. I only sent them to her church leaders and family, but thought it would be nice to post it. My baby's all growed up!

My Graduates

We have had many graduations in the last week! Chelsey will graduate next week officially, but this was her Seminary Graduation. She even got to be part of the program. She and Alex sang a duet of "How Great Thou Art". Beautiful! So proud of all she has accomplished. She didn't want me to take my camera, but I did anyway!


Melissa, Chelsey, Teya

Chelsey, Dallon, Melissa, and Teya

Dad, Chelsey, Mom

Whitney, Chelsey

Miranda, Chelsey, McKenzie and Maddie

Stephen and Nick have managed to make it through all of elementary and JH. Their 8th grade graduation was a little long, but lots of fun. I know they are both looking forward to the new adventure of High School. Great job boys!

Stephen

Nick

First thing when they came out, "Are the Suns winning??" Obviously they are happy with the answer.

Glade, Stephen and Nick



Bo also got to graduate from Preschool! He is such a smart kid. I just love him to death. He has had a blast at Ms. Whitney's preschool. He never complained about going and is already reading. He is WAY excited about kindergarten and asks all the time, "is it time?"

Boldon

Bo and Brayden

His teacher gave them all a diploma, and graduate pin and a class ring (ring pop).

I'm off to kindergarten!

Flying High

Life is like a roller coaster. 'Nough said! Well, actually I'll be on one in about 36 hours at Disneyland! This is the week I have had some anxiety/anticipation for. After a flurry of a weekend, it's finally here. I started by running outside (probably the last time for now) for four miles again today. I only had three short breaks of walking and my average time was still 10:30 min/miles. For me, and for how long I haven't been training, that's really good. The funny thing about running is that sometimes it's pure torture and sometimes its like nothing could feel better or more rewarding. Today was one of those good days. My hip still hurts a little, but not like it was. So grateful for that.

I spent the rest of the day doing laundry. I completely neglected that this weekend and my kids all said they had plenty of clothes for the week. That was tempting to just let it all go, but I was diligent and got it almost all done, including putting it away! We have absolutely NO plans for tonight. It's the first time in about two months that we have had Monday night free. I totally should have planned FHE, but I didn't. We are just going to chill and hang out together, starting with my famous homemade pizza. The kids are thrilled!

Tomorrow Bo has preschool, then we are going to the pool for lunch. I have scouts, then the boy's 8th grade graduation, the Biggest Loser finale is that night and then we leave for Disneyland around midnight. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Sleeping on a bus two nights in a row isn't exactly great for a girl who needs her beauty sleep! Anyway, we will arrive home Thursday morning around 5 am. Bo has preschool grad at 8:30 am, kids have a half day of school (their last) and then I have Bunko that night. I may be a walking zombie, but dadgummit, I'll be there!

Gila Valley Temple Dedication

Today was the dedication of the Gila Valley Temple. We took four of our kids with us while three stayed behind to watch Bo and Katy since they were too little to come. The other three went to the next session. We got there an hour early and got a bench front and center, nice. While waiting for it to start, soft music was played and they showed pictures of rooms inside the temple and those of other temples. Even just seeing the rooms brings back the peaceful feelings of being inside the temple. I'm sure you've noticed that my emotions have been a little on the surface lately and today was no different. I looked around at the people sitting around me, some I knew, some I didn't. But what I did know, was that I loved them all. Some that you might even consider a little kooky or "off", I just love them. Then, shortly before it started, our Stake Presidency walked in and started toward the front. They stopped briefly to confer about something and at that moment, I was so in awe of these three men. How I loved them! These are men of God and it's evident when looking at them that that is true. How blessed am I to be under their guidance and care.

The dedication started and I was excited to see that President Monson, our prophet was there. One of the first things they did was to go seal up a "time capsule" of sorts in the side of the temple. They had many people come and apply a little mortar around the edges of the tile. President Monson was very funny and light hearted. It surprised me at first, and then I remembered some of the things I had read about Joseph Smith. Some didn't approve of the fact that he was fun and light hearted. He liked to play in the yard with kids and would joke around with them. I'm sure he and Pres. Monson would have gotten along famously. Once they were done, before they headed back inside, the choir started to sing "We Thank Thee, Oh God, For a Prophet". To my complete and utter surprise, tears immediately started rolling down my cheeks. I hadn't planned for this and had to use my clean white hankie to dab my face. What a wonderful start!

I truly thank thee, Oh God, for this prophet, Thomas S. Monson. How I love him!

The rest of the dedication was nice. I was saddened a little by the way Pres. Monson repeated himself so many times. A normal sign of aging, but also an indicator that he may not be with us as long as I would like. In reading the Work and the Glory (just finished book 7), I have come to feel like I have some weird bond with the pioneers. I have read in detail some accounts of early temples being dedicated and what an amazing work this is and how far it has come. How many evil influences have tried to deter the work, and yet how it still goes forth with such power. I was grateful to have been able to participate in the activities today and to feel the unspeakable joy of knowing what I know.

Parent Mode

Thursday we had two different choir concerts to attend. Stephen's and the Girls'. I tried to make it to Stephen's and then be a little late to the other, but it was going on forever. I left right before they started so I wouldn't miss Chelsey. This is her senior year and they do an emotional senior farewell number that I really felt I should be there for. Sorry Stephen! The concert was nice, too artsy for me - can we sing something in English?? We got home just before 10 to Chelsey and Sarah trying to figure out how to make their physics project work. They were up till almost 3 am working on it. They had to paint it when it was done and I had warned Chelsey not to paint on anything that it would stick to. As I was getting ready to get out of bed the next morning, I had a thought. I jumped up and went to check and sure enough, she painted in the grass. Good girl. Only she left it there and our sprinklers go off first thing in the morning. The zone right before that one was already going. I pulled it onto the porch just in time. That would have been awful.

Dalin barely had a fever Friday and he really wanted to go to school and had been acting just fine so I gave him medicine and took him part way through the morning. That's probably wrong, but I did it anyway. Glade was also home sick that day. He never stays home so that was amazing all in of itself. After school, since Glade still wasn't feeling well, I loaded the kids up and took them to the pool. I was able to get a family pass for the whole summer because we have a rental in that same city and they let me count that. Now we can go whenever we want and not feel like I need to stay to get my money's worth.

This morning I woke up early to go run. I haven't run since Tuesday and that was barely running. Since it was early, I wanted to run outside. I took Whitley to a service project and then went to a close by neighborhood to run. My iPod was dead so I had no music and worse, no NIKE+ to tell me how far or fast I was going. I went 4 miles and in a pretty decent time. (I had to guesstimate). I was able to run the first two solid, then walk/ran the last two, but mostly ran. My hip didn't really start to show itself till about mile 3. Getting better! It was good to run again.

I sped home to shower and change so I could go with my mom to get facials. She had gotten them free from somewhere. We got there and they messed up our times so we had an hour to kill. The facial was not what we expected and actually slightly strange. She never washed or wiped her hands between applying things to each of us. Sometimes went straight from one face to another with the same product on her fingers. Now, it's my mom so I didn't care about that, but socially and everything else...isn't that just wrong? We walked out with very soft skin. We went to lunch and then headed our separate ways. Thanks for taking me!

Tonight we have Brooklyn's closing ceremonies, which normally I would avoid and even bribe to not go to, but she has loved it so and been so dedicated, I feel we must go. It will be torture as they announce and present trophies to all 500+ girls. Woohoo! Glade is still feeling awful and should probably stay home, but he's not very good at that.

This coming week is the boy's graduation, Disneyland and Bo's graduation. Should be very fun!

Oh My Oh May

May is worse than December by a long shot! (as far as craziness goes) Unfortunately I have not done well with my camera. I love it, but it's big and clunky and not very easy to tote around. Here are some of the things we have been doing these past few weeks.

This is Bo playing t-ball. He was on the Lugnuts. He whined every time I made him go, but liked it once we got there. He was the youngest one on the team and it showed. I'm not sure if he will want to play next year, but he was sure fun to watch! These are from my phone. I actually remembered my good camera for his pizza party where they handed out trophies, but the battery was dead, go figure.

Chelsey went to MoPro (Modest Prom) with a good friend of hers, Sherod. It wasn't without drama, which seems to be the way with her and school dances, but she had a really good time. They didn't do a day date or dinner or anything, just the dance and dessert after. She was really happy about that and to be able to go with someone she is so comfortable with. I wasn't here to see her off or take pictures, so the other gals mom did it for me, thanks Denise!

She borrowed a dress from a friend a few days before the dance.

Sherod, Chelsey, Sarah and Riggin

Great friends!

Brooklyn had a great time playing ball this year. I've always wanted a girl who could love softball and now I have one. I can't say it's been all that I thought it would be. Her team started out really awful and by the end, were one of the better teams. Brooklyn has improved greatly and is very anxious to play again next year. I was very proud of how dedicated she was. Go Illini!!

At church, we had a mother/daughter fashion show. The goal was to either make or buy really cheaply your outfits. Then we modeled them. The Saturday before the activity, we hit a few Goodwills and were able to find something cute for everyone at practically no cost. I even talked my mom into doing it with us. I didn't love Whitley's dress, but she liked it and it was only $10. Can't beat that. We had a fun time at the fashion show and Katy even went by herself to "twirl". It was a fun night together.

Brooklyn - shirt and jeans =$5

Chelsey - borrowed dress = free

Whitley - dress = $10

Whitley, Tina, Brooklyn, Laurie, Chelsey and little Katy in front

Mom - jeans and shirt= $7

Laurie - jeans and shirt = $9 Katy - dress = $2

We still have a Disneyland trip and four graduations (Chelsey, Stephen and Nick (8th) and Bo (preschool) to finish out the month. I'm counting the days till summer!

Reality?

What is my reality? As I was on the treadmill watching the Biggest Loser, trying to undo some of the damage of the last 24 hours (pizza and brownies), a commercial for a pill that is supposed to produce big weight loss came on. I was so excited, maybe that could be my answer! Wait, I don't really need an answer. I'm barely over the bracket of healthy weight range. My mind hasn't caught up with that yet. I'm still looking for that "best" way to get this weight off. Mind you, I'm aware I still have weight to get off, but not to the degree of needing things like that. I stayed on the treadmill for an hour and a half. I still can't run for long periods because of this stupid muscle in my hip, but at least it was something. The Biggest Loser has always been an inspiration to me. It's when I actually started actively losing weight. However, today was a little depressing. They had past contestants come run the marathon with this season's people. They have all gained weight back. I know that is to be expected to some degree, but I would put them back on the "hefty" side. Except Ali. I was kind of disappointed in Sione. He is doing motivational speaking and got his trainers license and he is kind of big again. If these people can't keep it going, how am I supposed to? Is that just reality? It's very scary to think that in two years, I may be just as big as I was two years ago. I know it's all about choices, but man...to see them go back to that after all they went through...not very encouraging.

Glade went to Denver today to look at C-stores there and is now stuck there over night. I guess there are a lot of tornadoes in Denver right now so they aren't letting any planes in or out. Bummer. He isn't feeling well either. Hopefully he can get home in the morning.

I'm making Nick go back to school tomorrow. His mouth is still pretty nasty, but he really only has about 3 days left and he needs to get that work made up. He at least has been wanting to eat today so that's a good sign.

Brooklyn won her game on Monday so now she plays tomorrow night. She hurt her ankle, but has toughed it out and ready to go again. She and I had a mother daughter activity at church today. It was nice to spend time with her. They had a dessert tasting competition which was not good! Well, it was very good actually, but....

Off to shower and get some more chapters read in my book. I guess it's another night alone for me. Visiting teaching early in the morning and then lunch with mom. I have a meeting with Nick's teachers about the IEP results and then Brooklyn's game, should be a good day!

Rambling

Let's see, where to begin....Friday night, Brooklyn was supposed to have a game, then it got cancelled. I went ahead and made plans to go out, but then at the last minute, it was on again. Hmmm, Glade said he would go to the game and I could carry out my plans. Chelsey, mom and I had planned to go see Letters to Juliet when she got off work at 9 pm. I went really early to get Nick, Stephen and Jordan to Ironman on time so Mom and I just hung out at the mall till our movie started. It was such a cute movie. Loved seeing it with two of my best girls! The boys enjoyed their movie, including Nick, who by the way, still has a mouth full of scabs. It's the nastiest thing I may have ever seen. I feel so awful for him. It's healing, but still so yucky and painful. He has lost way too much weight and looks waify and weak. He refuses to even try to drink the Ensure shakes I got for him, so he's been with pretty much nothing for almost a full week. As bad as I feel for him, it frustrates me that he won't do any of the things he has been told will get him better sooner. At least try!

Saturday, Glade and Stephen left really early for a long bike ride. I did TONS of laundry and a little reading. Bo talked me into taking them all to Basha pool once their chores were done. We went and only stayed for about an hour. They had a great time. I could go on again about the misguided theory that everyone wants to see everyone else's "everything", but I did that last year. It's a family pool for Heaven's sake!!

That night we had our Ragnar Reunion party. Most of us went to dinner first and then to Kristine's to watch the video I made of all our pictures. It was fun to reminisce a little. I love having common bonds with great people. Chelsey had gotten invited to go see Carrie Underwood in concert this same night so she was in Tuscon with her friends. She texted me and told me that Craig Morgan was two feet from her!! AAAHHHH!! I think that's how she put it. Again, I love that she wanted to tell me. I was really worried about her getting home safely. I could see the headlines. "Boy falls asleep at the wheel, 4 teenagers die" "Girl had such a promising future, heading to NAU on scholarship". I know it's morbid, but it happens and I just don't know what I would do if it ever happened to me. I have come to some sense of peace that God's will be done, so if she was meant to go, no amount of praying would change that. Again, I worry, it's depressing, but I also love the place I have come to to be able to have that peace.

Church was good today, one of my favorite people spoke and I always feel uplifted when he speaks. Today I had a sad but real awakening. Katy found her "glass slipper" upstairs this morning. She came right down to look for the match. Once she found it, she stripped right down to get into her princess dress. She asked me to zip her then pranced off to get her shoes. I love it. AND it's coming to an end. My babies are growing up. All those little poems about little hand prints are coming to mean more now that the hand prints are getting larger! Life is happening and I just want to make sure I'm fully participating as it does.

Tonight we had Thanksgiving dinner. I still had the turkey we got at the Turkey Trot for having the most family members running. I decided it was time to cook it up and have a feast. We had all the trimming including home made bread. It was fun to do something a little out of the ordinary. Glade had to be out working unfortunately, so he missed it, but the kids and I had a good time. We had left over dessert from last night so they are excited to have "muffins with holes in them" as Bo calls it. Angel Food Cake for the rest of us, topped with strawberries and whipped cream. Yum!

This whole week is filled with end of the year activities. Only one and a half more weeks! Not only is every night this week filled, but then I go to Disneyland with Stephen next week and then two weeks later to Disneyland with my family. All the good stuff is right around the corner!

Never seen anything like it...

I've had two boys home sick all week. Whatever it is that we keep getting lasts forever! Mostly just a bad cough and fever for 5 days or so. Crazy. Nick, however, has something totally freaky. He woke up Sunday with a fever and a mouth full of sores. They don't look like cankers, but large white pussy sores all over in his lips and cheeks. By Monday, they were worse and looked bigger. I took him to the doctor and he said he hadn't really seen anything like this. He went and looked something up and brought in another doctor who said it must be some kind of virus that is showing itself this way. They did a strep test to be sure, negative. They sent us home and said give it 5-7 days.

Over the next day or so, his throat was so sore and his eyes were blood red and the fever was still up around 102. Feeling horrible for him, I asked a friend of ours that is a dentist if he had any thoughts. He agreed to see him and gave a similar report but with a twist. He said it looked like an initial herpes virus 1 outbreak. Apparently the majority of people are exposed to this by the time they are three and experience just a mild case of flu like symptoms and then are mostly immune (except the occasional cold sore). The older you are when you are exposed, the worst the symptoms...just like chickenpox, which is in the same family. The eyes, fever, sore throat, sores in his mouth all fit the description. Unfortunately, nothing you can do but wait it out. He is on day 6 and has lost all tolerance. Today those white pussy sores have turned to scabs. His lips are totally swollen and scabbed over. It's heartbreaking to look at him. The scabs would indicate healing, but he's still in so much pain and is emotionally at his limits. I'm sure he's wishing for a hole to swallow him up at this point. Not to mention he's missed an entire week of school and that will be hard to get caught up on. I feel awful for him. I'm sure pictures of his mouth would be ones for the medical books, but I wouldn't want to expose anyone to that, it's NOT pretty.

Trip to NAU

Chelsey and I headed up to Flagstaff to see what else we needed to get done to have her be ready to attend there in the fall. We have gotten some letters and a few emails, but for the most part, everything is very vague. She has earned the AIMS scholarship which pays for all of her tuition, but that's all. We have been trying to find a place for her to live, but being here instead of there has made this whole thing a little difficult. I just wanted to actually sit with someone and say "What?"

To make a really long (but pleasant) day short, we found out that she has enough grant/scholarships to pay for her housing and food in the dorms for the whole year. She shouldn't have to pay for anything at this point. YES!!! She is not super excited about living in the dorms, but it's probably the best thing for her the first year. We also went and talked to the Institute instructor and he gave us lots of advise and insider stuff about what she should expect. There is a campus bus that can take her pretty much anywhere she needs to go, which was a relief since she won't have a car. We got lost lots of times, but had a good time getting it all figured out. Since we were done so early, we had lunch and headed home. We decided to stop at the outlet mall in Anthem since we weren't in a hurry and ended up staying there almost 4 hours. We got some really great deals and actually had a very pleasant time. That is a first for us since we seem to disagree on a lot of things in that area. Maybe we are both growing up! We get to go back up in a few weeks and do it all over again. Freshman orientation where they actually get their schedules and be all official is in June. I finally feel comfortable sending her off. The trip was way worth it!

Motherhood part Deux

Motherhood is filled with so much joy and wonder, yet......oh the heartache. When the natural instinct of a mother is to protect and love and shelter from all the bad in the world, it's quite hard to swallow when she has to be the one to administer the unpleasantness sometimes that is necessary to learn and grow. Even though life is so much based on choice and consequence, it's hard to watch a child suffer those consequenses. There's the part of you that feels strong and proud that you love your child enough to do the right thing and yet there's the part that hurts and wants to rescue them. I'm smart enough and have seen enough to know that a child that is constantly rescued has a gloomy future. However, that knowledge doesn't really make it that much easier. *sigh*

Aahh Mother's Day....

The one day a year to show extra appreciation for the Mom's in our lives. Sometimes its wonderful and sometimes it's not. This was an in between year for me. First I want to acknowledge the women who have been influential in my life.

First and foremost is my own mother. I could make a very long, sappy report on why she means so much to me, but it's been a long day. Suffice it to say, I couldn't and wouldn't want to live without her. She takes care of me just as much now as she ever has. She is my very best friend (next to my spouse) and I have more appreciation for her than I'm sure I ever tell her. The older I get, the more I find myself becoming just like her. And I don't mind it a bit.

Next would be my step-mother, JoAnne. So far from the wicked step mother so many fairy tales portray. She has been so loving and attentive to me and my family. I'm so grateful for her friendship and the blessing she has been to our family.

I have a mother in law who has accepted me into her family and not been judgemental or intrusive into our family. I feel very blessed to be a part of her family and to call them my own.

Going back a generation, I have wonderful grandmothers as well. My Grandma Whitley was so full of life and as I learn so much more about her, I realize I didn't know her that well at all. What I do remember is how wonderful her smile and laugh were. I wish I had spent more time with her while growing up.

My Grandma Manary is the ideal of what I want to be. I know she thinks I'm crazy, but I think she's wonderful. Some of my fondest childhood memories involve her. Her sweet and sassy and caring manner are absolutely heartwarming. She always had food going no matter what time of day or how many were coming. Her giggle is contagious and she's a blast to play games with. She has always taken care of those she loves and you're never in doubt of her love for you. I miss you Gram.

Now for my own family. I spent Friday night out with some good friends having girl time while the boys went to the Father's and Son's campout. It was a really nice night out. The next morning, my mom and my girls and I all went to breakfast and went shopping together. Time with mom is always good. Then this morning, we had breakfast as a family like we always do, then came the fun gifts from the kids. It's fun now that they are older and can do things on their own. Bo made me something from preschool, as did Brooklyn. Katy colored a card, Stephen cleaned my bathroom and wrote a sweet note and Whitley made a manicotti dish and had it in the freezer so I wouldn't have to cook today. We ate it for lunch. Dalin's is probably my favorite, even though he didn't actually give it to me. While camping, they were looking for crawdads in the creek. He found a dead one and took the pinchers off. He took them to Glade and said he wanted to take them home and make earrings out of them for me for Mother's Day. Glade wouldn't let him, but the thought was really touching. That he would even be thinking about me at that moment in time speaks volumes. Glade kind of bombed on this Mother's Day, but he does so good on others that it didn't really hurt my feelings. I know he loves me.

I also had to talk in church today. I don't do that well so, of course, it was a little stressful. I started off like I planned and then ended up not following what I wrote and felt like I was babbling along without many connected thoughts. As always, many people told me how great I did, but what are they going to say "you really sucked, I couldn't follow anything you were saying and it sounded like you were just rambling." In any case, I did it and it's over and hopefully someone got something out of it. Stephen came up to me after and told me he loved to hear me talk. That was nice. Bo and Katy sat on the bench with their pouty faces and teary eyes because they couldn't sit by me. After church, Bo was like a leech. When I asked him why he was being so sad, he said it was because he hadn't gotten to be with me all day. So after lunch, he and Katy and I cuddled up for our afternoon nap. Perfect. That's the kind of thing that makes ANY day good!

Happy Mother's Day!!

Home

Home is where the heart is. True statement. There's no place like Home. True Statement. The most sacred place after the Temple is Home. True statement. Some days home is where I need an escape from, but most days its the best place in the world. It's only in quiet moments that it can truly be appreciated. Today I had a few of them and they filled my heart with gratitude. I have been given the opportunity to speak in church on Sunday regarding Motherhood and the legacy I wish to leave. It's made me very reflective and thoughtful. As I sat outside babysitting the chickens (we are still having issues), I watched as two boys played a ball game on the tramp. The genuine laughter, the tackling....it made me smile. This morning I spent most of my time working on my own mother's gift for Sunday. The feelings of service and doing for those you love is so fulfilling. To set dinner down before your children as they gather around noisily and watching big ones help little ones, it's rewarding. To hear the giggle of a little blond with dimples as she sneakily walks by you and the unexpected tackle by a five year old who just wants to plant a big kiss on your cheek and tell you he loves you, worth it. Receiving a text from a daughter who can't wait to tell you her good news or just to check in because she's bored, lovely. A son who won't leave your presence without giving you a kiss and still likes to hold your hand while sitting close, heart warming. A husband who goes anywhere you want him to and never complains and puts my wants before his, well... I feel a little guilty about that one, but what an example.

We live in a beautiful house with plenty of nice things, but it's not our house that makes it desirable, its family. Each person contributing, making a house a home. Being the creator of such a family is awesome. I don't mean that in an 80's sort of "awesome", but literally awesome. How did God look upon me and think I could be trusted with such an amazing responsibility? It's something I will never feel quite worthy of, but completely grateful and forever humbled by.

I'm not trying to paint a rosy picture of this perfect world of which I live, we all know better. For everything there is an opposite. BUT, if we don't stop and breathe in the reality of our blessings and tuck them deep in our hearts, the good things will fade. The hard things will seem harder and the negative will flood in. Life is busy and trying and sometimes down right messy and unpleasant, but for the few moments of beauty and peace and love......I wouldn't trade a thing.

The End of A Birthday

Yesterday we finally finished up Bo's birthday. He had been contemplating what to do for his party and it came down to this: Chuck E. Cheese with a friend. How nice is that for me?? So after preschool, I took Bo and Brayden and Katy to Chuck E. Cheese and we stayed for a little over an hour. They ate nasty pizza and played lots of games and came home with plastic bugs. Perfect day for two little boys!

The afternoon brought scouts and taxi and then a mother appreciation dinner with Chelsey. I totally didn't want to go, but she did so we went. An appreciation dinner is great except when the mother can't eat what's served. Instead it was mother torture night. Seriously, it wasn't that big of a deal, I took my own food, answered a bunch of questions and had an enjoyable time chatting with nice people. By the time I got home, I was exhausted and just wanted to go to bed and watch Biggest Loser. I showered first so by the time I got started, it was almost 9 pm. Too late for me to start something! I made it through with just "listening" to the end with my eyes closed. Normally I don't like the makeover one but this one was good.

Today we got up and around quickly. I swept and mopped which was desperately needed then headed to Costco. I just needed about 3 things and of course the thing I needed that was in the back corner of the store was no longer there. After searching briefly, I asked and, of course, it was at the opposite corner of the store now. On the way home, my AC in my car stopped working. We quick stopped at home and switched cars and headed to the library for Story Time. I had never been but I thought it would be nice for the kids. We got there just in time. Alicen met us there, we did Story Time and then went to Chick Fil A for lunch. Katy barely made it, she was ready for a nap, but the others had a fun time. We may do it more often.

Tonight we have two ball games. Bo groans every time I mention it. We are snack today so that made it a little more bearable for him. Brooklyn's is late, which last time lasted too late. But, after tonight, they each have one more game. Yeah for the end! I know that sounds terrible, but that's how I feel right now. One more "to do" I can stop doing for awhile. Summer is looking better and better! Minus this heat that is now more seasonable and not so enjoyable. My hair is starting to show the effects!

The Big 2-0

Today I officially hit 20 lbs since I very first started doing the drops oh-so-long ago. This puts me at a total of 72 total in the last two years. I'm even only 4 pounds from what I said would be my ideal goal weight. Isn't it funny that I still look in the mirror and grrr at myself? Are we ever happy? I'm determined to be right now! Lumpy or squishy or slightly out of balance, it is what it is and I'm going to start to enjoy life just the way I am. For now I have so many fun adventures in my near future that I'm going to set my sights on those and enjoy every bit of them without the nagging of losing weight. I'm aware that I will always have to be mindful, but not like the last two years. I say that with all the hoping and praying that in two more years, I won't be 72 pounds heavier! Look out world, dieting Laurie is no more!

The Battle Rages

I am my own worst enemy. Cliche, but true. I'm such a quitter when things get hard. I'm sure that's why I'm not a better runner by now. I like to stay where things are comfortable. I saw this weekend that I have passed this trait on to one of my children and it saddens me deeply. Even while entering middle age, I still do battle with my mind. Why can't I master this? My other trait of hating to lose also makes this especially frustrating.

Battle of the Day - Stupid diet. Everyone knows dieting is hard, no question there. Life would be dreamy is chocolate were as good for you as broccoli and bread was good like apples, but they're not. I'm 2 lbs away from hitting my 20 lb goal and 6 from hitting my original goal weight. I should be ecstatic, I should be flying high breezing through these next few days. Instead, I'm grouchy and testy and spend most of my time being bitter that I can't eat pasta or cookies. Seriously, I have been losing 2 lbs a day, that's crazy! My brain just wants to quit, to throw in the towel and have a brownie. Isn't that how I got fat in the first place? This is the battle that rages within every single day. Some days I feel like I'm destined to be fat, it's too hard to be healthy. Then I remember all the things I have accomplished and how good I feel physically and remind myself I wasn't happy being fat. I ate a lot and that seemed fun, but I wasn't happy. I'm really not happy not eating and dieting all the time either. Somehow, there must be a "happy" range where I can still eat pasta and cookies, yet be able to finish a half marathon if I wanted to. I desperately need to find that place. For now, I'm continuing to fight this battle with myself determined to win and chastising myself for being so pitiful and weak. Once I hit my goal, I'm on to LIFE. No more thinking about it day in and day out. I'm going to find that happy place even if it means gaining a few pounds back. I don't have the energy to spend this much time worrying about my weight. One thing I'm sure of, I'm not going to lose this battle!