Flowing Like a River

Some days are better than others.  Sunday I was just grouchy, so my emotions were a little on the surface anyway, but I was good.  Then church happened.  Stephen was being given the Melchizedek priesthood and being ordain to an elder. I forgot that before this happens, he has to be presented to the congregation for a sustaining vote.  So when a member of the Stake Presidency got up to the pulpit and asked Stephen to stand, it took me by surprise a little.  But I was still good.  Until.....Pres Guttery says "I can't go on until a say a little something about Stephen".  I turned to Glade right then and said "this isn't going to go well".  The tears came and stayed through the entire sacrament.

After sacrament meeting was over, we went into the Bishops office for the ordination.  And the river continued to flow.  I was a mess. Right before they started, Pres. Guttery asked me if there was anything I would like Glade to include in the blessing.  Wow.  There were so many things and some were even silly, how could I just choose one and which one would be most important?  In the end and through tears and the inability to speak the words, I asked him to bless Stephen that he would know of his worth and his greatness as I can see him, as his Heavenly Father sees him.  I cried for the next 20 min.  I can't really explain it.  I'm not sad.  I mean, of course I will miss him, but I don't feel sad when I'm crying.  And it just comes when I least expect it.  Like at Costco when someone I haven't seen in a while asks "how are the mission preparations coming?"  It's really quite embarrassing.  I'm hoping it will get better once he's gone and I don't have to look at him and have the anticipation of him leaving.

On a slightly humorous, not so humorous note.  When I'm not crying because I love him so much, I want to wring his neck.  Some days I think he's just trying to make me mad so I won't be so sad he's leaving.  BUT, I have mentioned this to a few other missionary moms and they said their son did the same thing!  So maybe it's just God's tender mercy in making the separation a little easier, lol.