Saturday, May 24, 2014
She's Humble and Freakin Cute
Another Big Step
Concerts Galore
It's that time of year! Everyone wants to perform ONE more time!! Honestly, it's not my favorite part of being a mom. I don't appreciate choir music and the big performances that include the whole school is a lot of sitting and watching people you don't even know. Yes, I'm a school concert scrooge. BUT, I go. Stephen had his last choir concert (halle frickin lujai) I seriously dislike his choir director. So much that I can't even look at him as he talks through the concert. Which is WAY too much, in my opinion. Anyway, Stephen was awesome and even had a solo.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Being a Mom is Hard
I'm sure this isn't news to anyone. You can read all about how the sleepless nights are killer and the diaper changing and the lugging bags and contraptions around is burdensome. We hear about taxi-ing, the expenses, the over scheduled calendars. No new news about the sassy teenager and attitudes and hormones. Those are the HARD things. Right? Nope. I beg to differ. As my kids have grown, I've decided those seem to be the easy things. What no one seems to write an article on his how you can look at a kid and love them so much your heart wants to burst and tears sting your eyes. But the very next moment you are so angry or frustrated you want to wring their neck. Or how your heart breaks when a kid can't see their potential and wastes precious opportunities. How about when you are so proud of them that your mind can't wrap around how YOU managed to raise a kid that awesome. And then doubt everything you've ever done wondering if anything you did even made a difference. Then there's the time when you're too exhausted to fight the battle anymore and you shrink in defeat. Only to have another child need you to stand up and be strong at the very same time. Ever read an article about that? Every so often in the middle of all the chaos, one of those sweet little ones recognizes your weakness and tries to be strong for you with their hugs and kisses and reassurances of their love. Maybe even on a rare occasion one might admit they were wrong and totally surprise you by making it right....starting with a hug in your closet. And that makes you cry too. How is the human heart capable of so much? Conflicting and contradictory emotions flowing freely and without restraint. Where are the advice columns warning of these things? Maybe it's because by the time you get to this point in motherhood, you can look at those beautiful young moms toting babies and celebrating a 6 hour stretch of sleep, and look back with a smile remembering when you thought that was as hard as it was ever going to be. Besides, some things are just not really explainable to someone who hasn't been there. Maybe it's like trying to describe what salt tastes like. Being a Mom is hard, really hard. But it's the best thing I've ever done. I'll take all the hard moments just to experience the great ones. Cuz when they're great, they're really great....even in the closet. ♥
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Dance Performance
Flowing Like a River
Some days are better than others. Sunday I was just grouchy, so my emotions were a little on the surface anyway, but I was good. Then church happened. Stephen was being given the Melchizedek priesthood and being ordain to an elder. I forgot that before this happens, he has to be presented to the congregation for a sustaining vote. So when a member of the Stake Presidency got up to the pulpit and asked Stephen to stand, it took me by surprise a little. But I was still good. Until.....Pres Guttery says "I can't go on until a say a little something about Stephen". I turned to Glade right then and said "this isn't going to go well". The tears came and stayed through the entire sacrament.
After sacrament meeting was over, we went into the Bishops office for the ordination. And the river continued to flow. I was a mess. Right before they started, Pres. Guttery asked me if there was anything I would like Glade to include in the blessing. Wow. There were so many things and some were even silly, how could I just choose one and which one would be most important? In the end and through tears and the inability to speak the words, I asked him to bless Stephen that he would know of his worth and his greatness as I can see him, as his Heavenly Father sees him. I cried for the next 20 min. I can't really explain it. I'm not sad. I mean, of course I will miss him, but I don't feel sad when I'm crying. And it just comes when I least expect it. Like at Costco when someone I haven't seen in a while asks "how are the mission preparations coming?" It's really quite embarrassing. I'm hoping it will get better once he's gone and I don't have to look at him and have the anticipation of him leaving.
On a slightly humorous, not so humorous note. When I'm not crying because I love him so much, I want to wring his neck. Some days I think he's just trying to make me mad so I won't be so sad he's leaving. BUT, I have mentioned this to a few other missionary moms and they said their son did the same thing! So maybe it's just God's tender mercy in making the separation a little easier, lol.
Mother's Day
So I'm going to just put it out there in all my raw, honest ways. I hated Mother's Day this year. It wasn't because my family wasn't sweet and lovely, they were. Gifts and flowers, home made stuff and breakfast. On a normal holiday I would have loved it. This year, I was too busy being a mom to enjoy the weekend. AND I was a little bitter about all the activities that were planned for that weekend. I don't need to be pampered and showered with attention for a whole weekend, but I also don't appreciate being run ragged either.
For starters. Fathers and Sons camp out. I will NEVER understand why anyone thinks mother's day weekend is a great weekend for this. I gotta get everyone packed and then spend the next 2 days taking care of things as the sole parent. My kids are bigger now, so it's not a big deal, but when you have little ones, it kind of sucks. Normally we do some kind of fun girls night, but this year, Rhett's dance teacher decided to have a four night dance performance. Seriously?? So Friday was the only day I had available to attend. Friday was actually a very good day. Mom, Chelsey and I went to see a movie in the morning and basically spent the whole day together. Then that evening, Mom, all the daughters (and son in laws) and I all went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. We went early so mom and I could get to the performance. Now, I will say that it was a surprisingly enjoyable performance, but that's another post. And it was a great day because I got to spend the whole day with my own Mom.
Saturday we had play practice and then home to get dinner ready for Prom. I love doing that for my kids, but it was just one more thing on this particular weekend. We cleaned and decorated and I helped get both boys ready to go. After serving dinner, Glade and I and our friends, the Kettrings, were banned to the front living room so the kids could have privacy. I enjoyed that, but it wasn't exactly a date night.
Sunday, the big day. Awoke to breakfast and showering of gifts. But by now I was just grouchy and still had a lot on the agenda. After church Glade and the boys unloaded all the camping stuff which ultimately leaves me a lot of work. Not to mention I was trying to get my house clean so Glade's family could all come over for a BBQ. No nap today because my kids are only noisy when I ask them to be quiet. The family all came and it was nice. Truly, I LOVE my inlaw family. But after it was over, there was the clean up. I saved that for the next morning. So even the next day, I spent the whole morning getting my house back to livable. I haven't even mentioned church (yet another post) or the two wedding receptions we missed. So basically it was just a stinky weekend. I'm sure I could have changed my attitude and handled it better. It didn't really seem possible in the moment though. I told Glade that next year was consisting of me in my PJ's eating mac and cheese. Here's to being a Mom, the very thing that kept me from enjoying Mother's Day.
Prom
Friday, May 9, 2014
Ketchup
Or Catch up, whatever. I'm not sure there's anything to really even catch up on. I can't believe two whole weeks have flown by since the CALL. We've returned and rebought stuff. Filled out paperwork. Laughed, cried, fought. There's just so much. He's still trying to finish high school and since he's let his grades slide this last semester ( by slide I mean avalanche), he doesn't have any wiggle room. He has to do well or he won't get credit and graduate. No graduation means no mission. Plus, he still has some weight to lose before he can go. Add cleaning his room out, filling out papers, studying, friends, family....he's a little overwhelmed. This weekend is Fathers/sons campout, prom, rehearsal, two wedding and a dance concert. Seriously? All on mother's day weekend. Is there no respect??
I can't even think of what we've done all week, but we haven't been home! After this weekend, there'll be a lot to post about. Let's hope I keep on track and get it all down. Ü
I've been staying home most days trying to get life in order. I hate laundry and it makes me insane. Not only does doing it make me insane, but NOT doing it and having everyone looking for stuff makes me insane as well. So this week I've tried really hard to get caught up. I even cleaned out Bo and Katy's room, like seriously purged. But they've gotten ready so nicely the last few mornings! Then I went upstairs....if you know our family, you know what that means. AAhHHHHH! Now I'm not even close to caught up on laundry. As I do this next batch though, I will weed out and they will only get to keep a little. Tired of the chaos.
So I guess it sounds like I'm complaining, but really not. About the laundry, yes... but in general it was just a busy week of normal stuff. This weekend is the doozy so let's hope we all come out alive. Keep on keepin on....that's the way we roll. ♥
Sunday, May 4, 2014
1 in 7
So I've cried every day this week, but one. Hey, at least there was one!! The first four days were the worst. Starting with Sunday. Wednesday was my no cry day. I'm pretty sure I was dry by then. The other days, I didn't actually cry, just tear up. That's progress! Today though, I think I cried three times at church and once at home. I'm back to welling up if someone asks how I'm doing. I'm sure it will get better. Then, after church, Stephen and I were sitting on the couch talking about a song for his farewell. So I looked up a few I hadn't heard in awhile so I could let him listen to them. That didn't go so well. The tears rolled. He was sweet and put his arm around me and let me have a little cuddle time. How quickly this last week went by, it kind of freaks me out. Too soon!!! Here's a link to the video that made me lose it.
In the Hallow of Thy Hand