the Feeling

This will probably be the most vague and nonsensical post I've ever written.  Because I 1) don't really know exactly what I'm trying to say and 2) even if I did, I probably would still be vague.  So here goes.  It started last Saturday.  This feeling.  I don't know what it is or what it means, but it's distracting.  And quite honestly, uncomfortable.  I had a really "cry baby" Sunday while at a very emotional set of church meetings.  That happens sometimes.  The feeling just won't seem to go away.  I, of course, have tried to examine all the possibilities for this and even said a prayer or two.  Last night while driving to the Temple and enduring this feeling, I just wanted to puke it out. Isn't that gross?  Strange?  I know!  But that's what I felt like, if I could just throw up this feeling, I could feel normal again.  What I want most is for it to go away, whether by explanation or acceptance or whatever, just get on with it already!  The longer it lasts the more I wonder if I have created it, you know cuz I'm a little crazy like that.  Did I make a mountain out of a molehill?  As I sit, I feel that same "pressure" in my chest and queasiness in my stomach.  I haven't talked about it to anyone..as much as I've wanted to.. because it feels so obscure and personal that I know I would make no sense.  So I chose to "journal" it. If I ever figure it out or if it just goes away, I'll be sure to update. Ü