Tissue Please

I have had many reasons to need a tissue these last couple of months.  I'm not sure exactly the rhyme or reason  for all of it, but my emotions have definitely been on the surface.  Almost a day doesn't go by that I don't tear up for some reason or another.  So when the opportunity came to go see a warm and fuzzy chick flick with my girlfriends, I was so happy to have an outlet to just let the tears flow.  Nope.  Not a single tear.  Seriously??  I felt it, but the eyes were dry.  Ok, so maybe I've finally got a handle on all this emotion that's been so prevalent in my life.  That's a good thing!

So I thought.  We have been going through a lot of changes with our ward splitting these last weeks.  There are inner struggles that I have to battle with myself all the time that are really exhausting.  Trying to keep perspective and stay logical is hard work.  Along with this hard work have come the tears again.  Tissue please. Only little ones here and there, but it's so not fun.  When I'm rational, it's so obvious how irrational I can be.  But when I'm not....oy!  I just want to get on with it.  Point me in a direction and say GO!.  This no-mans-land sucks. 

Today I got the privilege of teaching the 5 year olds until they get a permanent teacher called.  Whatever, I like little kids.  I tried to make the best of it, but after sitting through an hour of sharing time where no one paid attention..including me.. and then another hour of trying to teach to a sweet group of little ones while ONE kid spent the whole hour giggling and talking and rolling on the floor about put me over the edge. I guess I hadn't mentally prepared for that.  Right after church, they were going to set Glade apart so we were waiting in the hallway all together as a family.  Whitley came over with tears in her eyes, hugged me and said "young women's wasn't the same without you."  Tissue please.  Now that we are in a new ward, I'm not her Laurel advisor anymore.  I thought maybe she was ready to move on without me, even though I wasn't.  I guess not.  I have no idea where they will put me next but sitting around doing nothing is killer.  Thinking of endless weeks of restless 5 year olds instead of spending them with my very lovely daughter is also killer.  I know change is good and necessary and I will do whatever is needed of me, but I miss her already. 

Tonight at family dinner, Chelsey came bounding in all crazy excited.  She flashed her newly issued temple recommend.  She has to get it signed by the Stake President Wednesday and then she can go to the temple any time after that.  She was so excited.. as were we all!  Then Sherry brought out the wedding announcement she had been working on for Chelsey.  It was super cute, no shocker there, but when I actually was reading it.... tissue please.  The words "joyfully announce their MARRIAGE, in the Mesa AZ Temple for TIME AND ALL ETERNITY" really got me.  I read that all the time and it's sweet and you have fun thoughts of when your own children will do things like that.  Only this time it IS my child.  She's going to the Temple!!!  I was so proud and excited and blown away all at the same time.  My baby girl made it to the temple.  Life is good.

Lastly.. my allergies are out of control!  I'm on benadryl and Clariton and I still just sneeze all day.  It's embarassing.  All through church it was *sneeze, sniffle, blow* repeat.  Tissue please. My eyes were red and itchy, so even though I hadn't been crying it looked like I had.  All that put together just makes me want to sleep.  Only I can't... cuz I keep sneezing!