Annie Get Your Gun - photo overload

June 2014 - Annie Get Your Gun

The family show this year was minus a few of my family due to Stephen going on his mission, Rhett having scout camp and Brooklyn having girl's camp.  Kind of a bummer.  So that left Dalin, Bo, Katy, Spencer and Chelsey.  I wanted to be in it, but they needed a choreographer so I did that instead.  It was lots of fun and as always, helped our summer to FLY by!  Dalin is a cowboy, Chelsey is a showgirl/women's ensemble, Spencer is a cowboy and Bo and Katy were both children's ensemble.  I think Katy stole the show on this one.  She is such a little ham, I had no idea.  Other staff members have told me about people making comments about that "cute little girl in the pink dress".  Much much fun!!

Dalin is on the left between the two tall guys

Bo is in the red plaid shirt

Chelsey in the middle

Chelsey and Spencer

This is hilarious.  We were really short boys and in a last minute effort to not have to take one of my favorite people out of this number, we only had Dalin to offer her as a partner.  She is seriously so fabulous!  So try to find Dalin here.  I'll give you a hint...you'll only find his arms.

Dalin clear to the left 

It's not the best picture, but check out the girl in the light pink dress.  Look familiar??  Yep, it's my senior year prom dress being revived. 

It's a Good Life, Charlie Brown

Where are all the good shows with a nice moral at the end... like Charlie Brown?  That's a question for another day.  Every once in a while you get a glimpse of just plain contentment.  I had one today.  I love those moments.  No, my house wasn't clean.  I needed a shower, laundry could have been worked on.  It wasn't a perfect day, but a perfect moment.  One where you look around at your home and the people in that home and have that warm fuzzy feeling of... wow, my life is awesome.  I think those moments are somewhat rare, but nice and potent... you  know.. to last for awhile.  To remind you through all the imperfect and chaotic moments that you are one lucky gal!  Now the trick is to pull that moment back to the forefront of your memory in the hard times.  I'm super grateful we are given these moments.  That I took a moment to stop "doing" and feel it.  That's also one of the trickier things to do.  My life is a gift, my life has a plan .. my life has a purpose, in Heav'n it began..... yep, saw a little bit of Heaven today. ♥

Recovering from Sending off a Missionary

I'm alive and I barely  cry!!  The first week was rough, not knowing when he might be able to send an email.  Knowing he was sick when he left and I can't check on him or take care of him.  I was sure he was fine, but the mom in me just wanted to call the MTC and have someone tell me he was fine.  But I didn't.  The first email finally came on Tuesday morning.  Actually a written letter came the day before, but we didn't get the mail till morning.  So I left for Summer Movies very excited to have gotten a letter!  Then, during the movie, his first email came through.  THEN, later that day... pictures!!  It was a great day!

And of course, he was doing great and seemed so happy.  I had written him using Dearelder.com about every other day.  That was probably more for me than him.  Brooklyn and I put together a greenie box for him as well.  In his email he said he would be leaving the following Monday for Hawaii.  And he gets to call while at the airport!

Once contact had been made, things goT a whole lot easier.  Monday actually came around quickly and we waited for that phone call for an hour and a half!  Finally , the phone rang.  We got to talk to him for 20 min.  I tried to remember all the questions I had had and also to let him tell all the things he'd been wanting to share.  Awesome awesome awesome!  He's doing really good and is so focused and confident.  He got to email me once he landed in Hawaii to let me know he was safe.  Then the next day we got another letter in the mail.  It was a bit repetitive because he wrote it before he called, but I absolutely loved it.  Now his P-day (preparation days) are on Mondays.  That's when we will get our weekly email.  Knowing he's actually there and when I will get to hear from him releases a lot of anxiety.

I still cry randomly, at weird times when I least expect it.  But not as much and not usually for long periods of time like before.  I still cry if I imagine him walking away at the airport, but I try not to do that too regularly.  I cried in church Sunday as I looked down the bench and acknowledged that his "usual" spot was empty.  I hear stuff like that happens the whole time they are gone.  But at least it's bearable now.  I also know there will be good and bad days.  And that he'll have hard times and I have to let him learn and grow and figure stuff out without me.  I'm trying to brace myself now, before those times happen.  I will post his letters and pictures  HERE.  As hard as this has been for me, there's not one thing I would change.  What a proud mom I am to have a son willing and worthy to go share the gospel with God's children.  I wouldn't want him anywhere else. ♥

Sending off a Missionary

I'm sure this post will be excessively long and probably very scrambled, BUT...I think I can finally do it with dry eyes.  Where to start....

The Everyday

The last days leading up to Stephen leaving were really awkward.  We wanted to be normal and busy and yet there's this heavy feeling in the air because you know it's a good thing, but it's also a bit sad.  He wanted to spend time with Taylor (the girlfriend) and all his other friends.. a lot.  This is not surprising, but at the same time, I wanted him to be home with me.  But to do what?  Watch me fold laundry?  So I would feel bad if he was here while his friends were doing something and he was just sitting here.  And as time really drew near, it seemed weird to do everyday normal things, but what else do we do?  He was out of school the last week before he actually left, so it was just him and me for most of it.  The decision I ultimately came to was that if we really weren't doing anything, he could be with friends.  And for most of the "normal" things we did, I let him invite Taylor to come along.  I remember being the "girlfriend" and I so appreciated his family letting me tag along to spend those last days with him.  NO, we didn't end up marrying, but at the time, those things don't matter.  It feels like your whole world.  I didn't really mind having her along, she's a sweet girl.  But sometimes I really just wanted him all to myself.

So the last week, we went to the Temple together about every other day.  We went to the Mesa temple one day since he'd never been in that one.  He came to work with me in the temple on Thursday.  I loved having him there!  He performed baptisms, did confirmations and basically any other job the priesthood have.  It made me happy.  A few of his friends came in that day so he was able to baptize them as well.

I took him grocery shopping and tried to help him know how to determine cheapest price and talk about what things are worth spending extra on and what things are really just unhealthy.  He barely made his weight goal before he left.  Plus, everyone has said that kids who go to Hawaii gain a lot of weight.  He said he had lost more weight once he got to the MTC so I hope he's able to keep it off during his mission.  We went through his room, boxed up stuff he wanted to keep.  He mostly tagged along to where ever I went if he wasn't with friends.

The Countdown

Sunday went pretty smoothly.  I wasn't nearly as emotional as I expected to be.  That afternoon, Stephen and Glade drove to the prison to see Nick.  Stephen said it was good, but awkward.  But at least he got to see him before he left.  That evening we had family dinner and an open house for those who wanted to say goodbye to Stephen.  I know I say it all the time, but we have such great friends!    I let his friends stay until really late because his best friend was leaving the next morning for a job and it would be the last time they saw each other for 2 years.  I can only imagine the emotion that was out in that room as a group of friends faced the fact that their reality was about to change and possibly forever.  I'm a romantic like that.

Monday, we cleaned the upstairs.  I mean really cleaned it.  I know, a strange thing to do on his last days here.  But it felt good and we were all together (including Taylor)  We spent some time packing and weighing his suitcases and printing off necessary documents, etc.  Again, with excitement and this heavy cloud hanging around as well.   I can't even remember what we did that night, weird.

Tuesday (the LAST day)

This was such a strange day.  What do you do on the LAST day you will see someone for two years?  Well, we went to summer movies like we always do.  Then we all went and had pizza for lunch.  Then we went to the temple.  There was a little drama in  Brooklyn losing her temple recommend and now she was the only one who couldn't go.  Turned out alright cuz we had to go home first and sweet Bro. Walker offered to come meet us to get another one for her.    So me,  Dalin, Brooklyn, Rhett, Stephen, Taylor, and Caleb all went to go do baptisms.  The temple was fairly slow that day so we were mostly the only ones there.  Stephen baptized all the kids and I handed out towels.  I was good until something, I don't know what, came over me that reminded me how much I love him and how he was leaving and I lost it.  As he baptized each kid, I sat on the bench wiping my tears on their towels.  The worker next to me kept looking at me out of the corner of her eye.  Stephen would glance up and look at me like "are you Ok?"  I just quietly cried...sort of...at one point I was about to break into a full on sob so I made some weird noise that drew the attention of the worker next to me.  Holy cow, I was a mess.  I went in to tell the girls to meet in the foyer when they were dressed and I could barely talk.  The worker said to Brooklyn after I left "you must have been doing family names."  Brooklyn just let her know that her brother was leaving tomorrow for his mission.  So as I tried to get control of myself, all the temple workers give you that "poor thing" sweet look and that just makes you cry more.  My kids were very sweet about it and Rhett gave me a hug as he came out of the font and so did Stephen.

We got dressed and headed to take Taylor home.  I know Stephen wanted to drive her home himself because this would be their final goodbye, but I didn't think that was a good idea.  But, being the compassionate one that I am, I dropped them off at her house and "ran an errand"  giving them about 15 minutes to say goodbye.  I'm sure it was awful and hard and tears were shed, I've also been there.  We came home, showered, took a short nap and got around for dinner.  Stephen was due to be set apart at 8 pm.  As he came down for dinner, he said his stomach really hurt and he thought he might have a fever.  He only ate a little and took some ibuprofen to feel better.

All the family (immediate) gathered a little early so Glade could give him a father's blessing.  I was still pretty much in control since my outburst in the temple.  We all drove to the Stake Center where Stephen's friends were all waiting.  So I made it as far as the greeting of "how are you Sis Smith?"  Yep, non stop crying for the next hour and a half.  The time in the Stake Pres office was absolutely beautiful.  Stephen sat next to me and held my hand the entire time.  His blessing was perfect, we took some pictures, bore testimonies and gave lots of hugs.  Right after he was set apart, I stood up to hug him and was quickly joined by my children one at a time until we had our traditional big hug going.  All in tears.  Truly a special night.

Right as we were leaving the church, I started sneezing.  I mean continuous sneezing, like a bad allergy attack.  We got home, spent a little bit of time together and were in bed by 11.  Still sneezing.  I took lots of allergy medicine and prayed for relief.  My head already hurt from all the crying, I didn't need allergies on top of it.

The alarm sounded at 4 am.  Stephen came down stairs saying he thought he still had a fever.  He was burning up.  But what do you do?  Gave him more meds, tucked some inside his suit coat and headed out.  I was feeling awful about now.  My head was killing me and my eyes were swollen and puffy.  With how awful I felt, I really thought we might get through the airport without a lot of tears.  I'm pretty sure there weren't any left.  Just before we arrived at the airport (with Taylor and another friend in tow), his fever started to break.  He was all sweaty and hot and feeling miserable.  We got him checked in and went up to the security gate.  It was really awkward.  Do we stand around?  Does he just go?  I was feeling yucky, he was feeling really yucky!  We took some pictures in which he tried to smile and look like he was "there", but his heart just wasn't in it.  When I would hug him, his shirt was damp and he was radiating all this heat... I'm sure he just wanted to go sit down somewhere.  So we took the last pictures and started the process.

The Goodbyes

He hugged everyone, except his "girl" friends.. that's not allowed as a missionary.  When I hugged him, I started to cry.  I thought a few tears will be ok.  This isn't as bad as I thought it would be.  He headed down the isle through the ropes of the security line.  As he got a little ways down, Rhett yells "Stephen! Wait!"  Then runs down to hug him for one last time.  Then the kids all followed suit.  As the last one hugged him I started to panic.  "Stephen! Wait!"  I went for my last hug.  This time the tears flowed.  I didn't want to let go.  But I did, and he continued on through the line.  As he started to show his ID, everything inside me went irrational.  I need to stop this!  If he goes any further, it's over.  He's gone.  I wanted to scream something, tell him to stop, maybe just walk as far as I could next to him.  Something!!  My baby is leaving! I honestly felt like I might throw up right then.  No one warned me of that.  Just as he headed through the metal detector, I yelled his name one last time and as he turned around I flashed him the "i love you" sign in sign language.  Then he turned and left.  I watched him walk through the machine and he was gone.  And I cried.  Hard.  He.  Was.  Gone.  I didn't know it was going to be that hard.  I had someone tell me once that it was the worst day of their life.  She wasn't lying.  It felt awful.  In a beautiful sort of way.

We headed to the car and I continued to cry.  We decided to take the family and all his friends out to breakfast at Ihop.  I cried intermittently through breakfast, but mostly got control.  If I didn't conjure up the image of his back walking through the machine, I was fine.  We got home and went back to bed for a couple of hours.  I had a busy day so there was lots to do to keep me busy.   I continued to think about him, worry about him, wish I could call and check on him.....And life went on.

 And THAT is what it's like to send off a missionary.