Knowing an Angel

Joylin Smith was born with several health issues that have made her life very complicated and sometimes just plain yucky. She wasn't expected to live through puberty but beat the odds and managed to make it to the age of 31. Today, Joy was finally freed from her frail and troubled earthly body.

She decided about 2 weeks ago to stop receiving dialysis and be done with this fight. There were beginning to be too many complications that were causing her a lot of pain and frustration. It was an extremely hard, yet such a brave decision on her part. She has spent the last two weeks having the time of her life. She was visited almost every night by people who loved her and wanted to say goodbye. She ate things she hasn't been allowed to for such a long time. She was exhausted but happy. Sunday night the pain started getting really bad and the dosage of morphine had to continually be increased. She became very tired and lost her energy. She spent last night in terrible pain causing her to vomit and cry and even occasionally scream. This morning we got the call that she was unconscious. We were told that once that happened, it would be a short amount of time before she would pass.

Her entire family (adults) gathered at her bedside to be with her through this difficult time. I have never witnessed anything so awful, yet so wonderful at the same time. Her breathing was so labored and eventually became very "rattled". We all said our goodbyes, shed tears and let her know how much we loved her. Hospice had come and done what they could for her and just encouraged us to keep her on a nice dosage of morphine. As the time drew closer, Glade and his brothers surrounded her to give her a priesthood blessing. At that time, she was told her Heavenly Father was ready to receive her. We had put in a CD, Reflections of Christ, so it wasn't just silence in her room. As we were all gathered together, the song Amazing Grace came on. This couldn't have been scripted any more perfectly. It was completely moving and wonderful. Only a few minutes later, Be Still My Soul began to play and Joy took her last breaths. It was a bittersweet moment to say the least.

I have been so excited for Joy to get to move on to a more beautiful place where she could be free from her broken body...to enjoy the blessings she wasn't able to attain in this life...however, I couldn't have anticipated the sorrow at watching her pass. She has endured so much in her 31 years and always with such an amazingly good attitude. As hard as it was to watch her suffer and to leave us, the joy and peace that followed was so much more powerful. I know where she is, I know she is happy and I know I will see her again. That's the beauty of the Gospel and the Plan of Salvation. This past Sunday we celebrated Easter, the beautiful and miraculous resurrection of our Savior. He lives....and so does she.

Joylin Smith

Smith Family 2011

A couple of firsts

Ok, maybe not actual firsts, but close. The most shocking are the words that came from my adorable 5 year old. Let me start by saying his birthday is in a couple of days and he had gotten money from grandma and grandpa Whitley so we went to get him a few little treasures. Well, my boys are back into Beyblades. He bought himself two and has done nothing else since. During quiet time, he wanted to play outside with them but I didn't want him outside while I was laying down. I asked him to come in, to which he hung his head and pouted. I suggested he play the Wii for awhile. He then said "I don't want to play the Wii!" In the last 4 month, those words are so far gone from his vocabulary. Wow!

Secondly, I ran two days in a row!! I use run loosely because I'm pretty slow right now. I went about 7 weeks without running and boyhowdy do you lose it! I've been trying to do some DVD's as well to incorporate strength training and so far my elbow has held out. Today I did sprints on the treadmill. I like sprints, seems more active than just running. Sadly, my sprints were about the same speed as Rhett's distance pace. It definitely feels good to be doing something though. Now if only I can get my eating back on track. Yesterday I had done good all day and then we went to the kids Spring Sing at the school. We got Subway (it's an outdoor picnic event) and I got a very healthy sandwich, but ended up eating the chips instead of the fruit and ended the night with a cream filled donut. Sheesh! Today has been much better, but the day's not over yet. I will be strong!

Easter 2011

Easter was pretty low key this year. Sunday we had a nice breakfast together and then church. I had to teach and it didn't go that well. Definitely not my strength. After church, we had planned to have a big dinner with just our family so I had gotten a ham and cheesy potatoes and corn casserole with jello dessert. The kids were pretty excited about that! Since Joy is still doing fairly well, we decided to have dinner at the Smith's again. I packed up what I could and took it there. What a breakfast feast we had! Grandpa created a zip line in the backyard and extra family came to visit Joy so it was an exciting night. Not what I had planned, but definitely good.

Katy, Whitley and Brooklyn in their Easter dresses. I actually didn't buy any Easter dresses this year, but they all had something colorful to wear.






We don't have church till noon so by then Katy is usually ready for a nap. This is how we started out our pictures.

Saturday's Egg hunt



These are the very not creative cupcakes we made to share with the cousins. They were tasty though!

I found these boots for Katy for $3 and I couldn't resist. She loves them! AND, she is quite adorable in them. Ü

Amazing 24 hours

Pedicures for date night. Yep, that's what we did with a couple of friends of ours. Under strict orders, they are to remain nameless, but it was so fun! Glade was too "manly" to get one, but the other "man" did and so did we girls. I was in desperate need and it's always fun to do with friends. After, there seemed to be a need for a piece of big red meat. Dinner was great (TexasRoadhouse) and the conversation was entertaining, as usual. We really did have so much fun. Same thing next month?? Ü

This morning we woke bright and early to make an 8 am temple session with Glade's family. Joy is still doing fairly well so we thought it would be nice to all be in the temple one last time together. Joy looked like a sweet little angel all dressed in white when she walked in. There were lots of long hugs and soft tears. What a precious experience to have. Very much reminds you of what's important.

After the temple, we rushed home to get ready for our family Easter lunch. We had way too much food and people were a little rushed cuz we had to postpone it a little due to our last minute temple plans. The kids hunted eggs and we ate yummy food and mostly just sat around and visited. The great thing about family is that that's just fine with everyone. The house emptied around 3:30 and let me tell you there were a few tired souls around here. Glade, Katy and I all laid down for about an hour. Bo wanted to around 6 but I wouldn't let him.

When 5 o'clock hit and I now had nothing to do for the rest of the evening, I got a little antsy. I really wanted to see a movie, but Glade didn't want to go. I talked Whitley into going even though she doesn't really like movies. We saw Source Code and it was SO good! We both loved it, I wish Glade would have been there, he would have liked it as well. It was super fun to get to hang out with Whitley though. She has been so helpful these last few days and I really just like her!

Tomorrow is actually Easter and I will take a few pictures of the kids in their Easter clothes then post all the pictures we have taken so far. We colored eggs Friday afternoon and then all the pics from the family party. I also have family pics from Monday, but they didn't turn out that great. I will get those posted soon as well. Awesome awesome couple of days!

Stephen's Birthday

Stephen turned 15 on Tuesday. Yesterday I took him to spend some of his birthday money. What a different experience to go shoe and clothes shopping instead of toy shopping. He wanted a pair of Vans, some jeans and some cologne. He got all of the above along with a nifty new button up shirt that looks too gangster for my taste. He's pretty easy to please so it's fun to go with him.

Yesterday I also was inflicted with a serious sneeze attack that has lasted about 15 hours now. It was really bad last night as I was at Ultimate Frisbee with the young women. It started to become humorous how much I was sneezing. I even had to use Whitley's shirt (she had changed) to sneeze into and blow my nose. She was a little grossed out by that, but what's a girl to do? I had even taken an allergy pill but took another when I got home. Still, it was a restless night of sleep with all the sneezing and congestion. Today my throat is even a little sore, but not too bad.

I had determined to run this morning, but Glade was up late irrigating and wanted to sleep in. I swear every time I decide to run on the treadmill, he has a rough night and sleeps through the morning. The treadmill is in our room so it wouldn't be very nice for me to get on it! I was diligent though and did a workout DVD instead. I'm sure I'll be sore again tomorrow, but I really want to do more than run so it's all good. I think I'm going to start an exercise group for the summer to help keep me motivated.

Tonight is our first Annie rehearsal. Here we go again!!

Annie and Magic

Yesterday Chelsey and I went to hang out with Mom since Chels hasn't seen her the last few times she has been here. While there, I got a phone call from one of my Visiting Teachers....oops...I totally dogged them. I can't believe I forgot. After we left Mom's, we went to do a little shopping and get lunch. Chelsey drove the blue car back to Flagstaff that afternoon. We figured that was more practical since she will want to come down for the funeral, which will probably be next week sometime.

After scouts, I took Dalin and Brooklyn to McDonalds to have a talk with them. Each kid has gotten this same experience but it kills me every time. They were highly suspicious as to why I would be taking them and not just for ice cream, but actual dinner! For the protection of anyone who may be younger than I think, I'll just say this about the talk. They have now entered reality and come to play on my team regarding childhood magic. It's always so sad to me, but I feel it's better than other situations that could arise. Dalin had a few tears, I think he's the only one that's ever happened to. Once that was past, we had fun talking about all the behind the scenes stuff and answering questions they had. Always breaks my heart.

We got Annie!! It appears as if we all made the play again. Glade is Jimmy Johnson (not sure what that means, but it's part of ensemble), Brooklyn is an ensemble orphan named Peggy, Dalin is a newsie named Sneaks and Stephen and I are ensemble. The cast is actually quite large for what I was expecting. I'm glad they let us all come again, hopefully it will be as rewarding as Hairspray was.

Pictures and Restart to Running

Saturday night at Schnepf farms was so fun! The little ones had a blast, oh wait, so did the big ones. We ate hamburgers and hot dogs, rode the train, played on all the stuff and even got to ride the rides. Katy wasn't so sure about the roller coaster, but she went. Said it was too scary and she didn't want to go again. It was a very tiny one with only a few small hills, but she didn't love it. Dalin was our only puker, though Glade was pretty close after riding on the swings. All the big ones were very gracious in helping with the little ones. We, Glade and I, had a great time getting to know so many of the cast on a personal basis. I hope to get to "work" with them again.

Sunday we went to the Smith's for dinner again so Joy wouldn't have to make the drive out here. The house was full with family and so many stop-in visitors wanting to say goodbye to Joy. We had one last game of Idiot Bridge in which poor Joy looked like she was going to fall asleep sitting there. She isn't sleeping much and she has had so many visitors that's she's just plain pooped. Monday night we went to a park and did big family pictures. It was very last minute so I spent the morning trying to round up appropriate clothing for everyone. I'm anxious to see how they turned out.

Glade also had callbacks, but they let him come late due to the situation with his sister. After pictures, the rest of us (my little family) went to Barro's for pizza to celebrate Stephen's birthday. It's actually today, but it's Tuesday so we have no availability tonight. It was nice to have everyone together. Glade had driven to Flagstaff that morning to go get Chelsey so she could be a part of it. I sure miss that girl. She is leaving today but is hoping to make it down for the funeral next week.

Yesterday I ran for the first time in one month and two days. I went significantly slower so I could try to run some sort of distance. I ended up running 2.5 miles then doing my ball work out DVD. Ouch. Today my whole body hurts. I really want to do more strength training now that the weather is so warm. I'm hoping my elbow will hold up for me. I definitely need to get back into it. I may even try my yoga DVD today!!