It's A Wonderful Life!

Tissue Please

2012-02-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

I have had many reasons to need a tissue these last couple of months. I'm not sure exactly the rhyme or reason for all of it, but my emotions have definitely been on the surface. Almost a day doesn't go by that I don't tear up for some reason or another. So when the opportunity came to go see a warm and fuzzy chick flick with my girlfriends, I was so happy to have an outlet to just let the tears flow. Nope. Not a single tear. Seriously?? I felt it, but the eyes were dry. Ok, so maybe I've finally got a handle on all this emotion that's been so prevalent in my life. That's a good thing!

So I thought. We have been going through a lot of changes with our ward splitting these last weeks. There are inner struggles that I have to battle with myself all the time that are really exhausting. Trying to keep perspective and stay logical is hard work. Along with this hard work have come the tears again. Tissue please. Only little ones here and there, but it's so not fun. When I'm rational, it's so obvious how irrational I can be. But when I'm not....oy! I just want to get on with it. Point me in a direction and say GO!. This no-mans-land sucks.

Today I got the privilege of teaching the 5 year olds until they get a permanent teacher called. Whatever, I like little kids. I tried to make the best of it, but after sitting through an hour of sharing time where no one paid attention..including me.. and then another hour of trying to teach to a sweet group of little ones while ONE kid spent the whole hour giggling and talking and rolling on the floor about put me over the edge. I guess I hadn't mentally prepared for that. Right after church, they were going to set Glade apart so we were waiting in the hallway all together as a family. Whitley came over with tears in her eyes, hugged me and said "young women's wasn't the same without you." Tissue please. Now that we are in a new ward, I'm not her Laurel advisor anymore. I thought maybe she was ready to move on without me, even though I wasn't. I guess not. I have no idea where they will put me next but sitting around doing nothing is killer. Thinking of endless weeks of restless 5 year olds instead of spending them with my very lovely daughter is also killer. I know change is good and necessary and I will do whatever is needed of me, but I miss her already.

Tonight at family dinner, Chelsey came bounding in all crazy excited. She flashed her newly issued temple recommend. She has to get it signed by the Stake President Wednesday and then she can go to the temple any time after that. She was so excited.. as were we all! Then Sherry brought out the wedding announcement she had been working on for Chelsey. It was super cute, no shocker there, but when I actually was reading it.... tissue please. The words "joyfully announce their MARRIAGE, in the Mesa AZ Temple for TIME AND ALL ETERNITY" really got me. I read that all the time and it's sweet and you have fun thoughts of when your own children will do things like that. Only this time it IS my child. She's going to the Temple!!! I was so proud and excited and blown away all at the same time. My baby girl made it to the temple. Life is good.

Lastly.. my allergies are out of control! I'm on benadryl and Clariton and I still just sneeze all day. It's embarassing. All through church it was *sneeze, sniffle, blow* repeat. Tissue please. My eyes were red and itchy, so even though I hadn't been crying it looked like I had. All that put together just makes me want to sleep. Only I can't... cuz I keep sneezing!

Three Hours

2012-02-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

Due to may very lazy nature, I have let many things in my home go to pure chaos. Closets and shelves the worst. I have been wanting to organize my pantry and "under the stairs" closet for some time. It always seems silly to start a project like that when there's laundry to do and paperwork not done. Running I haven't accomplished that day... always a good excuse. Today I ignored them all. I did get 3 loads of laundry done, but they are all now sitting nicely in baskets in my living room. Our pantry had gotten to the point of not knowing where anything was because where things were "supposed" to go, were crowded with things that were just stuffed anywhere there was room.

I started at the bottom and worked my way up. Once I had sufficiently emptied my pantry, I went to work on my other storage space. Before I began, you could barely even walk into the room. My kids find this a nice place to stash things they don't want to actually put away. When I was done, I had given away almost 30 #10 cans of food we will never eat, and two very full boxes of other random stuff I hold on to knowing if I ever actually fixed it, most would end up being scraped into the disposal. Instead, I decided to find a nice home for it! I didn't take any before pictures... embarrassing... but this is what I was left with after 3 hours of sorting, stacking and filtering.

It's a little barren, but I now have a new list of things I'm short on.

This was the garbage and stuff that I pulled out that shouldn't even be in there.

Perfectly good food my children won't eat.

Weirdo

2012-02-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

Katy bought this ball for her birthday. Somehow they managed to pop it the very same day. No worries though! There are always alternative uses for everything.

Superbowl Monday

2012-02-07T17:38:00.000-07:00

Last year we tried out having our Superbowl party on Monday and NOT watching on Sunday, thus keeping the Sabbath day Holy. I think it worked out pretty well so we tried it again this year. Unfortunately there weren't many who could resist watching the day previous. I was saddened by this only because I know these people are really good people who try to do what's right. How one spends the Sabbath is absolutely a personal choice, I know that and I'm not being judgemental. I, personally, feel that watching 5 hours of football with intermittent racy commercials and rowdy half time music (which I loved!) is not keeping with the "lay the things of the world aside" council the Lord gives us when asking us to keep this day Holy. I know it's only one Sunday and the Superbowl is a "big game", but it's the same game on Monday. Do I think anyone is going to Hell for it, no I don't. But do I feel like the Savior is up there with slightly sagging shoulders wondering when we will finally "get" it. I do.

With all that said, we had a great time on Monday. I didn't take a single picture!! We ran out of food way too quickly and had to make a pizza run during the game but that wasn't a big deal. The kids loved playing together and we girls always love getting together for whatever reason. We'll try it again next year and maybe a few more people will be able to refrain and wait to watch it with us. If not... the party goes on!!

New Everything

2012-02-06T08:19:00.000-07:00

The past week has been spent speculating and "worrying" and being excited all at the same time. It was announced last Sunday that our ward would be splitting the following week. They admonished us to not speculate about boundaries or our new leaders. Yah...right!!

Of course, our little pea brains thought we had it all figured out.. it's only logical! The biggest concern was that our little foursome would be divided. But logistically it didn't look like that was going to happen. There's another couple that have started to hang with us a lot and we knew they would probably be separated, but we were going to make sure we still included them. Then Thursday, Glade got an email asking him to come meet with the Stake President on Sunday morning. Now the real anxiety begins. He spent several nights laying awake wondering what this would mean for him.

The week seemed to go very slow, even with all the things we had going on. Finally the big day came. Glade had found an app on his phone that showed all the callings of everyone in the ward. Ours and several of our friends were labeled with no callings. That must mean we will no longer be in that ward. We figured that, no big shocker. Then we noticed our good friends still had their callings listed. Of the four of us, only one got separated. Very sad. It won't change our friendships of course, but still sad to be the only ones left out. That was a toughie.

We had a very spiritual interview with Pres. Richardson at which time he called Glade to be the Elders Quorum President. We "speculated" that this would be the calling. Such a big responsibility. We also were told who our new Bishop would be at that time. It wasn't who we speculated, or course, but my heart was so happy when he said his name. Earlier in the week as I was scanning the neighborhood in my mind, I came across this man and had the thought "oh how I miss him at the podium. I miss the spirit he brought to the meetings." I promised myself that the very next time I saw him, I would tell him all that. Little did I know he would be my new Bishop and now I get the opportunity to experience all that again. So grateful for Bishop Jensen!

Now it was time for the big meeting where everything was officially announced and ward boundaries were clearly defined. We will be in a new ward, at a new building (our old, new building), at a new time with lots of new friends and many old ones as well. I no longer have a calling, which makes me sad but I'm sure a new one will be coming. That gives me a little anxiety as well. Luckily I believe that every calling is needful and is of the Lord.

Change is hard and change is good. What it really means for us, is that the church is growing and the work is progressing. How can one complain about that? We are so blessed to be surrounded by such outstanding people and leaders. Looking forward to all the exciting things change can bring about!

Off the Wagon??

2012-02-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if you fall off the wagon or get back on it... which one is the good one? Whichever is the bad one is what I've done with my diet. Seriously frustrated with all of it. 4+ weeks and only 6 lbs. I've been so strict and done it all just as I was supposed to including running at least 3x a week. Well this week was a tough one to stay on task. Start with Sunday dinner and yummy dessert, go to birthday party, then date night, then all you can eat buffet at the Sun's game. Not good! Today is fast Sunday so that's a little bit of a start but I am getting back on the wagon? tomorrow. Some days I just want to never think about it again and be happy with where I am, but then I see a picture and think "NO!".

My running is finally getting better. Not good, but better. I'm disappointed I wasn't able to run London's Run like I have the last couple of years. I did the half both times but this year, even 6 miles is a challenge. I'm at least getting a little faster. I have a 7, 6, and 5 mile runs for Ragnar in three weeks so I'm hoping it doesn't kill me. It's staring to feel good again though. The other night we did a 3mile night run and I loved every minute of it. I felt strong and like I liked it. It's been a while for that! Let's hope it continues and Ragnar is a good experience.

Katy is FIVE!

2012-02-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

Katy had a spectacular birthday. I know this because she told me she loved me and how great her birthday was at least a dozen times that day. We, of course, started out with birthday spankings in the morning. With all the pinching that went on, she'll be 12 feet tall next year! We gave her her gifts from us that morning which included a PillowPet, a new scooter and a Strawberry Shortcake doll. (All of which I was able to get at half price becaue I'm good like that!) That day we just ran errands and got ready for her party that after noon.

While out shopping, she found this adorable "bow" shirt that was all glittery. She decided she would spend some of her birthday money to get it with a cute matching necklace and rings. Since her party was "Minnie Mouse" themed, it was perfect! Her friends showed up right on time and the fun began.

Chelsey had gotten her the birthday crown and she actually wore it almost the whole time.

Hadlie, Kylee, Brooklyn, Katy, Sarra, Tessa and McKenna

Tessa insisted on getting her the "getting married" Barbie, just like Chelsey!

We made a cute little "Minnie Bingo" game, it was a big hit

Her cake was very cute and tasted yummy!

Then it was dancing fun!!

Dalin Turns 11

2012-02-05T08:07:00.000-07:00

Dalin turned 11 on Jan 20. His actual birthday was pretty boring, but on Saturday we had his birthday party. He invited 3 friends and we went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. It actually turned out to be pretty entertaining. After the movie we went to Costco for pizza, exciting.. I know! We forgot to open his gifts before we left for the movie so when he got home later that day (attended a cousin's baptism) he opened them.

Sunday we had some of our good friends over to help us celebrate since he didn't get a cake at his birthday party. The only thing he wanted from us was more Skylanders figurines. Crazy. But I had gotten them for him the week before. I still think of Dalin as 4 for some reason, but he's really a great kid and I'm so proud of who he is becoming. Happy Birthday Dalin!

Another Year, Another Car, Another Pity Party

2012-01-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

Dalin got really lucky that he managed to squeeze in 4 years of pinewood derby. This year his car was really cool looking. Somehow I didn't end up with a picture of it by itself. Anyway, all our derby's start out like this.. smiling, excited, happy Dalin.

Then there's about 4 or 5 of these.. super close races.. some good, some not.

This year Dalin's car got slower each time it raced. But he was holding it together pretty well. I think getting to press the button helped alleviate the sorrow of not being the winner a little.

But in the end, this is how Dalin looks every year when it's over. I wish I hadn't removed all my old pictures from my computer. I could have pulled up three other pictures that look just like this one. I took him outside to try and comfort him. This is our typical conversation.

Me: Dalin, it's Ok. Did you have fun? That's what it's about, having fun.
Dalin: *sniff* yeah
Me: You don't look like a kid having fun. Dalin, how many winners are there?
Dalin: one
Me: How many losers?
Dalin: everyone else
Me: It's really no big deal, you're car was awesome!
Dalin: *sniff* *sulk* *sniff*
Me: So quit thinking about it and go see what they brought for treats.
Dalin: ok

I'm a really bad loser, but Dalin really takes the cake. No, it wasn't cake... I think they served popcorn. Ü

I found Gold!

2012-01-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's not exactly gold. BUT, for me... just as exciting! If you know me at all, you know that a huge reason I love going to the movies is for the popcorn. I don't ever eat popcorn at home, just the movies. There's something different, delectable.. about movie popcorn. I'm positive it has something to do with the butter that I drizzle over it generously. A movie can pretty much suck and as long as I have some buttered popcorn and a Diet Coke... eh...whatever!

I have been diligently following my WW program and let me just tell you... buttered popcorn is not part of that! So when I knew I was taking Dalin to the movies for his birthday, I had quite the dilemma. I intended to take a bowl of cut up fruit to munch on, but the morning got away from me. Then I just decided to eat popcorn with no butter, not that bad for the diet. However, I really hate eating things that taste like cardboard (unbuttered popcorn). I figured if I loaded it with salt it would be fine. As I was looking for the packs of salt, I noticed one of the boys couldn't figure out how to open the seasoning bottle, so I offered my help.

My kids put some crazy amount of seasoning on their popcorn every time we go. Bugs me. Popcorn is meant to be straight up with butter. So as I'm trying to figure out the bottle, I notice the words on the bottle. Caramel Flavor. Hmmm, I wonder how that would be? Then I decided to actually check out the rest of the bottles and that's when I saw it. KETTLE CORN. ohhhhhhh! I love Kettle corn!! So I checked the nutrition label and for half a tsp, five calories. FIVE! So I sprinkled lightly not wanting to be a glutton and headed for the movie. Pure bliss. It was so yummy. I can now go to the movies and not be tortured by the thought of unbuttered popcorn. Better late than never!

Why Does Being Older Make You Cry?

2012-01-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

I swear the older I get the more I get emotional about silly and small things. What happens, is it actually a physical condition that occurs in your tear ducts.. kinda like your bladder... just loss of control??

Thursday was our ward Temple night so we went with our good friends and did sealings. In our church, we believe that families are forever, but only if sealed by the proper priesthood authority. So in the Temple, we do those ordinances for those who have passed, but didn't have the opportunity to do them while on the earth. So, by proxy. The eight of us were in a room with a "sealer", a man with priesthood authority, and were performing marriages and sealing of children to their parents. If that sounds weird, it's not. It's beautiful and such an honor to get to be a part of.

As I watched my friends kneel at an alter and go through the marriage ceremony for a couple who has passed, it was a little like getting to see all my friends get married. I loved it. Then when I was acting for a daughter, being sealed to her parents, I imagined how happy this girl was right now.. finally having this blessing. Then I looked at my two friends acting as the parents and realized how much I loved them and they weren't even my family. That was the end for me. When my turn was over, I went back to sit by Glade and the tears began to fall.

I tried to make it stop, but it just wouldn't. Like a waterfall. I got sweet smiles of "awww" from those that noticed and a gentle squeeze of the hand from my husband. I finally thought I had it mastered and we were called up again to act as the husband and wife. During the ceremony it started all over again. When he was done, the sealer says to me "are ya ok? Do you need to take a minute?" My friends explained that my daughter was getting married in 2 months and that's why I was so emotional. Is that what they thought? I shoulda just went with it. Instead, I choked out "it's not that, I just love you guys so much!" Once I was able to express myself a little, the tears slowed down a bit. I just had to not look around this beautiful room filled with beautiful people and think about how truly blessed I am. That was hard.

I have a goal to go to the temple twice a month, but if I'm gonna cry every time I go I may have to reconsider! I'm kidding. There's nothing like being in the house of the Lord. Except being in the House of the Lord with the people you love. I can't wait to take Chelsey there.

I'll take Mundane

2012-01-22T09:47:00.000-07:00

So much for boring and mundane. This week has been really quite busy. Bo came down with a fever last Sunday night and has been sick ever since. Wednesday he got really congested and started saying his ear hurt. Thursday night his ear drum burst while we were gone. I realized it Friday morning when there was a little blood crusted in his ear. I figured that was a good thing and now it would heal. Friday morning he was happier than he'd been all week. By Friday night the fever was back and I had to wake him from his 6 hour nap. A friend came over so he and Glade could give him a blessing and then I took him to urgent care.

We got back from urgent care at 10:30pm. The doctor wasn't very happy that I had given him "left over" antibiotics in hopes to not have to end up in urgent care. He really wasn't very nice. So after charging me $150 (the cash discount), he gave me a $100 prescription. Really? After I just told you we didn't have insurance and the whole reason we used our antibiotics sparingly was because we couldn't afford to take our kids to the Dr. every time they had a little sniffle? I chose not to buy the antibiotics and see what else I could figure out. Now I spent $150 and had nothing but a confirmation that "yes, it burst." Fantastic.

The next morning I had Dalin's birthday party first thing. While they were in the movie, I called a few pharmacies to see if they had it cheaper. Good ol' Wal Mart. So I took it there and came to find out that what they quoted me was wrong and that their price was $96. BUT, she said she thought they could apply some discount, but wasn't sure how much it would affect it. At this point, I just wanted the meds for my boy, so whatever the discount was would be fine with me. After punching in some numbers she said "with the discount, it will be $42." Hmmmmm, really? Wow. That's more than 50%. THEN WHY THE HECK WERE YOU CHARGING ME $96???? I really hate this whole system called "medicine".

So now Bo has completed 24 hours of meds and hopefully will start feeling better soon. Still had a fever this morning. However, Katy came down with a fever on Friday afternoon so who knows how long it will hang on with her. This morning she said she felt fine, but she was freezing. I took one look at her rosie cheeks and headed for the medicine cabinet. Too fun.

Day to Day

2012-01-19T10:32:00.000-07:00

It's been hard blogging on a day to day basis for quite a while now. Seems like all my days are mostly the same. If I'm sitting on the computer, I'm doing paperwork for Glade. A girl's gotta earn her keep! When I have free time to blog, the thought of trying to catch up is daunting. I still have 2 Christmas posts to go!! So I tell myself it's not big deal because I have nothing good to tell anyway. But in a nutshell, here are some of the things that HAVE happened:

- I've stayed on my Weight Watchers plan officially for 10 days now and am down almost 6 lbs. I posted last year that I was so ready to lose the weight and get back on track... then I gained 15 lbs. Obviously I wasn't ready. So I was a little nervous to commit to it this year knowing how bad I failed last time. So far so good and it feels really good!

- Rhett has been doing cross country again. For some reason he just isn't in to it so much this year. It seems like everyone else has improved but Rhett. He doesn't even seem to care. It's not quite as exciting as it was last year. He is running the Ragnar with us and has been training a little for that. He seems to be a better distance runner than speedy.

-Dalin is turning 11 tomorrow. The best thing about that is NO MORE cub scouts. That's awful, but I'm ready for a little break. We just had pinewood derby, I'll post that separately.

-Whitley, Stephen and Rhett are auditioning for Krew, a performance group, this weekend. It's at the same theater, but it's not just one play. I always get nervous and excited for them. I wish they had stuff like that when I was young. Well, they probably did, I just didn't know it.

-I've had several people offer to help decorate for the wedding. That's been a huge relief. The rest I can pretty much handle, but that was stressing me out. I'm so grateful for people who are willing to help and not just trying to empty my pocketbook.

-Bo has been sick for 5 days now. Mostly just a fever, a little sore throat and today an ear ache. I started him on antibiotics so hopefully that will start to help. Sucks to watch your kids be sick and not be able to really help. He started piano lessons last week and loves it! His teacher is just the best and I'm sure she will keep him focused and interested.

-Whitley is heading to Thatcher to check out Eastern Az University tonight. She and a friend are going just overnight and will be home the next day. She is determined to go there. I'm not sure how she's going to make it all work, but her mind is made up.

All pretty mundane, but that's what we have right now! I guess I can be grateful that nothing too exciting is going on making my life complicated. Now if I could just get the laundry to do itself....

The Good Stuff

2012-01-15T22:37:00.000-07:00

Best quote of the...well...I can't put a time on it. We were sitting around laughing and having a fun time with several of our kids when a couple more arrived from a church meeting they had just been to. Whitley came over and sat right next to me and snuggled in. She had meetings of some sort pretty much the whole day so I hadn't even really seen her. Stephen then "tattled" on her that on the way home she had said "I've been gone all day... I just wanna go home and see Mom." At that, her eyes welled up. We were all still laughing, but then there were the tear filled eyes. Then it was my turn, now my eyes are welling up looking at her. Uh oh... now Chelsey has tears in hers as well. The three of us with teary eyes and yet we're all still laughing. We stayed huddled up together like that for about an hour, it was awesome.

We talked for almost two hours telling stories, remembering old times.... laughing till we cried. I'm still in mourning about not having babies, but this having kids old enough to be friends with is pretty cool too. Ü

It's Official

2012-01-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

This is what the hand of a really happy girl looks like. Chelsey and Spencer have been dating since last September-ish and on Christmas day decided they wanted to make it forever. At that point they were just talking about the possibilities, but by the weeks end, she had a date, a ring picked out, colors and even a dress. Ok, maybe the dress was the next week. It took him a little bit to actually go get the ring and this last Saturday, January 7, he proposed. Unfortunately she's a little pushy so he had promised to do it by the end of the week so since it was Saturday, there wasn't much of a surprise. Being who she is, she didn't really mind, she just wanted the ring! Now it's official and she can tell everyone. The date is April 20. He's a really nice boy and we really like him. It took me just a little while to feel really good about it, but now I do and it's all good! Ü We're going to be quite busy around here for the next while!

Chelsey and Spencer Hon

Student of the Month - Rhett

2012-01-12T12:06:00.000-07:00

I love this boy! I've really enjoyed who he is becoming and the experiences we've had together. Unfortunately I wasn't aware he was getting this award. He says he wasn't aware either until they called his name at the morning ceremony. He also said all the nice things they said about him probably weren't true. I suggested maybe those nice things come so natural to him that they aren't things he realizes he is doing. I know he's a good kid and all those good things are true. Good job Rhett!!

Ski Trip

2012-01-12T12:05:00.001-07:00

We celebrated our 21st anniversary last week. Glade surprised me with a weekend ski trip on Christmas. I loved that I got to go on a little mini vacation without doing any of the work! We left the morning of our actual anniversary, but we stayed in town running a few errands. One of them was to the jewelry place that Glade got my pearls for me for Christmas. He had gotten me a beautiful necklace, bracelet and earrings. However, I was not in love with the periodic black pearl along the strands. So we exchanged them for another set. So pretty!

That night we went out to dinner at a fancy (small town) Italian restaurant where I got to have delicious butternut squash ravioli. Oh so yummy! The next morning we loaded our ski equipment and headed to the mountain. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it's a little like riding a bike. You don't really forget how. The weather was beautiful, and there weren't very many people there. Exactly how I like it. I managed to stay off my rear the whole day until Glade made me go down this seriously steep and skinny hill. I tried to just edge my way down sideways but it didn't last... down I went! I slid down on my side almost the rest of the way down the steep part. By then my thighs were cramping so bad from inching down sideways, that I was having trouble controlling my skiis. I only lasted another couple trips down before I called it a day. Now, it had been 5 hours!

We left there and went home for a little snooze. I was in much need of some time off my legs! We ate the leftovers of the night before for dinner and then went to see a movie. We saw We Bought a Zoo. I really liked it, but Glade.. not so much. After, we went for dessert. That was what I had been waiting for! I couldn't decide between the chocolate cake and the carrot cake. I decided I would get both and have one for breakfast the next day. Then, the lady informs me they don't even serve carrot cake. What?? But there's a picture right here of a succulent piece of cake on your menu!! Rude. So I got the chocolate and Glade got some cheese fries. Not a good combination of food to eat at 9:30 at night!

The next morning we went to breakfast with John and Tracie and their kids. What a coinky dink to be up there the same weekend! I was still not done digesting my chocolate cheesy fries from the night before so I ordered oatmeal with a pancake on the side. They were huge!! Oh my.... so suffice it to say I had blueberry pancake for lunch as well.

All in all it was a really fun trip and I'm so glad he thought of it and made all the arrangements. So grateful to Chelsey and my mom for taking care of all the little ones and getting everyone where they needed to be. Happy Anniversary to us!!

Ropin'

2012-01-12T11:21:00.001-07:00

Nick has spent a little time roping with our friend. He loves doing it and seems to be pretty good at it. He has gone to one little rodeo with Colter, but that's about it. Still working on the motivation to get him up and out. Ü

He Hears

2012-01-03T15:12:00.000-07:00

Why didn't I think of it sooner? Without going into detail at this time, I have had some reservations about some things coming up and I haven't been able to feel good about it. I wanted to, it just wasn't there. Because it's not something that's my decision, it's hard to watch it happening and not feel good about it. I decided to go to the Temple and try to find my peace. I went by myself and at a less busy time so I wasn't rushed.

I sat through the entire session feeling...I dont' know... I felt anxiety? It's weird, it could have been a good feeling or a bad one, I couldn't determine. That's really frustrating! During the prayer at the end, I was over come with exactly what I was looking for. This man's simple prayer, gave me everything I needed to feel peace. So much so that I cried. I don't think I've ever cried in the temple before, but today I did. A good cry. Then I couldn't stop... lol. Now I can move ahead without feeling unsure.

The very best part of this whole experience is not finding the answer I was looking for, but that He loves me enough to hear me. He cares enough to make sure I have what I need. The peace I feel about the situation is very important to me, but more than that is the love I feel from a Heavenly Father who cares. Today I'm grateful.

There Was a Moon in the Chapel

2012-01-01T12:40:00.000-07:00

No, it wasn't a beautiful moon like this one. It was mine. Yes, my big ol' booty right there in front of a chapel full of people. I don't know how many people saw it, I know at least my husband and the girl behind me did. See, we have an elderly woman who likes to sit in our bench with us. She had just arrived, so I started to stand up to scoot over to make room for her.....that's when it happened.

Apparently, Bo was sitting on the edge of my skirt. So.... when I abruptly stood up to move over, my skirt did not move with me. I felt it and was on my way back down, but the damage was done. All Glade could say was, Wow! Luckily the girl behind me was a good friend but I'm sure there are many more who will be sharing this story with their family around the Sunday dinner table tonight. No, I don't want to know who you are. I prefer to keep my humiliation on an "anonymous" basis. What's a girl to do?

Christmas Morning 2011

2011-12-29T07:46:00.001-07:00

This is how our Christmas' typically go: Kids wake up at some unheard of early time, sit in one of their rooms together until the clock strikes 5 am. Then they call my cell phone to alert me to it being 5 am which is the earliest they are allowed to wake up on this morning. Then I jump out of bed, grab the camera and a cup of hot chocolate and head out to the living room. They are not allowed to come down stairs until I am set up and ready with my camera. Then they come down two at a time to see what Santa has brought them. Obviously they have clued in to the fact that I take their picture as they come around the corner so this year I got a few snazzy poses. Whitley even woke up early to do her hair and make up. My kind of girl!

I guess Bo forgot the rule about girls first, he left Katy in the dust. He is 6 now and still doesn't quite get how the Santa thing works. Santa leaves their gift by their stocking with their name on it. It is unwrapped and away from the tree. He zooms right in every year and kneels in front of the tree trying to figure out what is his. We have to direct him to his stocking and explain again that this is where Santa leaves his gifts.

Love love love the look on her face!

Brooklyn

Dalin never ceases to come up with some great face for pictures.

Rhett

Stephen

Nick used to be shy....

Whitley looks like she's walking the runway..

Chelsey... the one who protested this early morning rise time. I'm pretty sure she was the orchestrator of this many years ago. Reap what you sow honey!

Once everyone has had a minute to check out their stockings, we divvy out all the gifts and get to it. This year it took us about an hour and a half to get through it all.

Dalin picked up a gift and mentioned that it felt like a book. He then repeated several times "it better be the Throne of Fire!" I guess I did good. It was a last minute idea and obviously a good one!

While the kids were shopping at the Dollar Store for each other, Bo found this sparkly blue hat. He got one for Stephen and then cried pitifully when I wouldn't let him buy himself one. How could we not have one waiting under the tree after that?

Brooklyn was tuff this year because her list mostly contained different kinds of candy she would like. I found this adorable watch and decided she must have it!

The only thing the three younger boys consistently asked for this year was a Wii game called Skylanders. They pretty much suspected they would get it since they asked everyday and left me a note on the fridge. When they saw the box marked to the three of them, they couldn't wait to open it. It's all they've done since.

Stephen's Christmas didn't go that well. His pj's didn't fit right, he hated the shirt I got him, his watch was too big and the Van's he thought he would love felt weird when he walked. Lucky for me he's pretty easy going. We were able to fix most of it and after walking around a while, the Van's felt fine and he's worn them ever since.

All Chelsey wanted was a good camera. I'm pretty sure this is the third year we have gotten her one but apparently the other two weren't good. So pretty much that's about all she got this year. I did find a super cute shirt for her that she loved (the picture), but it was too small.

In a last ditch effort to not buy Nick a Morphsuit (the only thing on his list) I decided to buy him a rope and some boots. He seemed to like them and is now itching to go try it out. He says the boots are better than his DCs. Wow!

Whitley saw this purse while we were at a boutique and mentioned I should get if for her for Christmas. I happened to have a friend working at the boutique so I slipped her a check and had her get it for me. I'm pretty sure Whitley hadn't given it a thought since. Surprise!!

Katy just wanted a new doll. This is what she asked Santa for and that's what she got. An Arowa doll. We are still working on getting her to say "Arora", but it just doesn't seem to be in her.

Whitley got this shirt for Rhett. Fitting I think.

After all the gifts were opened, we let the kids play a little and then it was time to get ready for church. I love when Christmas falls on a Sunday. It's totally appropriate. We only had sacrament meeting which was an hour of beautiful Christmas music done by the choir, which included several members of my family. Katy slept through the whole thing. I loved being able to hug all my friends and wish them a Merry Christmas.

Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-28T16:14:00.000-07:00

I took a seriously low key approach to many things pertaining to Christmas this year and today was no different. I spent the morning with Whitley doing a little last minute shopping and going to pick up all the gifts from my mom's house. Took a nap and everything. We cleaned and got things around for dinner, but I didn't even make everyone get all nice looking or anything. Unfortunately my potatoes didn't cook enough and the kids didn't like the store bought rolls we had. So, the dinner kinda sucked.

I had planned on watching the Christmas Devotional together but the DVR is only in my room so we did jammies and ornaments first before we all jumped in my bed to watch. Every one's jammies worked but Stephen's and I was able to get all their pictures printed and into their ornaments without too much trouble.

They were really restless watching the devotional, we only did part because of the whining. I guess it's just really hard to sit for an hour when you know Santa is getting close. I guess I should just stick with a book. After we let them off the hook with the devotional, the jumped right back on the computer to find out where Santa was via the Santatracker. Some watched Arthur's Perfect Christmas, which is tradition and some helped Glade wrap my presents. That left me stuck in my room for a while so I did paperwork.

Of course they were all more than willing to go to bed, not to mention it was 9 already so that's normal bedtime. We were done getting things ready by about 10:15. They get up by 5 am so we needed to get our rest! The night didn't go as I envisioned, but I don't think anyone will really remember the bad rolls or long devotional, but they will remember our traditions and the way they felt on that night. I'm always a little sad on Christmas Eve to know that it's now over. Another year gone by and Christmas 366 days away again. It's not the day I love, it's the build up to the day. Don't get me wrong, the day is great.. but it's the season that's the best!

Sometimes They Listen

2011-12-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

Last night we had our Smith Family Christmas party and we were in charge of doing the program. When I took the kids in a back room to get them dressed into their nativity clothes, Bo had on two long sleeve shirts and two jackets. I guess when I reprimanded him at the Temple, he listened. When I saw that he was only wearing a tshirt and lightjacket that night, I told him "anytime we go somewhere this time of year, you have to dress warmly. It's cold right now." He did just that.

the Forgotten Carols

2011-12-24T07:16:00.001-07:00

On Wednesday we went to see the 20th Anniversary of the Forgotten Carols with Jake and Jenny. We dressed in our nice clothes, left early and went to dinner at Macaroni Grill beforehand. We were arriving just a tad late (10 min before start time) so we had to hurry through the parking lot to get in in time. We entered the doors with 2 minutes to spare. We have seen this show one other time and it was just as wonderful this time. It's just a really great story about what Christmas is really about. And the music. Oh the music!! I can't help but declare this show inspired. Absolutely beautiful. The best part is the end where he comes out and talks and we sing and the spirit is so strong you don't want to leave. I remembered that from last time and didn't expect to feel the same way this time since I already knew what he would do but I did. My heart was warm and I never wanted it to end. I'm so glad we went, I highly recommend it.

Temple Lights

2011-12-24T07:09:00.001-07:00

Hmmmm, to tell the truth or to not?? This was the worst activity we have done this season. That's the truth. It reminded me why I didn't make a special effort to do it last year. It's a little bit of a drive to the temple and the kids were awful in the car on the way there. So much fighting over nothing. AND they're too big for me to remind them that Santa is watching!

Once we got there, we gathered, made a plan and headed out to see the lights. For starters, no one listens when I tell them to dress warmly. Well, Rhett who brought the snow parka cuz he lost his expensive sweatshirt I just bought him this year... he was warm. It started to rain as soon as we got there and everyone was freezing. Little Bo only had on a tshirt and a really light jacket. We were meeting some friends so we went inside to wait out the drizzle and to try and locate them.

It didn't take long for the rain to stop, it is Arizona after all, and we found our friends so we trekked out to see all the wonder of the lights. At least that's what I did. The rest of the children just wanted to see how fast they could get to the next stop. They climbed, jumped, twirled, slid down a wheelchair ramp, and were way too loud. I thought I was going to lose my mind. It's always crowded this time of year but luckily for us, it had thinned out a little because of the weather. Obviously I have not taught my children well enough, but I never thought I had to say the words "it's not appropriate to baseball slide down a wheelchair ramp". Who does that??

Once we made a seriously fast loop around the grounds with very little looking at lights, I told Glade "we need to vacate the premises!" He brought donuts and our friends family brought hot chocolate so we went to the parking lot for a treat. That was better, at least they were somewhat contained. I will say that I love our friends! That part was good.

On the way home, the fighting started again.. this time about stinky feet and if you cared about your family you would put your shoes back on. I turned up the music and decided I was just not going to listen. Finally, I could take no more so I turned the music down and yelled "you are ruining Christmas!! There will be no more talking unless you are telling someone you love them!! Nothing, No. More.!" Then Katy says in her sweet little voice. "Nothing. No. More." Thanks for having my back Katy. The kids giggled and the tension was gone and we then drove home in peace.

Good to the End

2011-12-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of those days that pretty much started good and only continued to get better as the day went on.

Visiting Teaching
I had made VTing appointments for the morning so that's where my day started. Sometimes it's just like making a big check mark when you're done "OK, that's done." But this day it was like I felt like each visit had a purpose and that THIS is what visiting teaching is about.

Running
While I was VTing, my good friend Jenny texted me and asked if I wanted to go running. I have only run twice, sprints on the treadmill, since Thanksgiving. Bad, I know. Once I was finished with my sisters, I changed and we headed out for a run. The weather was beautiful and the run was... well, it was a run. We only made it 2.5 miles and they were a little slow, but hey... I RAN! She committed me to Wed and Fri of this week as well. Thanks Jenny! I needed that.

The Package
That afternoon, a very special arrival came in the mail. A package from my Dad and Step Mom. Holy. Wow. They sent me a beautiful, and I'm not just using that word for fun... beautiful bracelet for Christmas. It's absolutely gorgeous. I can't exactly describe it, but it contains my birthstone, a little inscription of "daughter" and lots of other sparkly things. Along with that came their check they send every year for the kids for Christmas. That was a great relief because finances are so tight this time of year and since my next paycheck comes only 2 days before Christmas, this was great timing.

Concert
The elementary kids had their Christmas concert that night. Bo and Dalin got all dressed in their Sunday best, including their Christmas ties, and we headed out. These are my favorite concerts. Cute and fun and short and totally filled with nothing but warm familiar Christmas music. After, we went to pizza with Mom, and the other couple of kids who wanted to go watch.

Service
While getting pizza, I got a text from Kelsee, my horse friend, saying they needed Nick last minute to go feed their horses. Yeah!! We went home, grabbed him and headed over. It was dark and cold so we didn't spend a lot of time with them, but he got to have his first experience with them and know that they actually trust him and are going to count on him. Awesome.

Giving
When we got home, we had a family meeting. Normally we do a service for some family close by that could use a little help for Christmas. This year time has flown by and unfortunately, I haven't spent the time I should have figuring it all out. I called our Ward Mission leader to see if he knew of anyone and he gave me the name of an older gentleman who is having a hard time. He is in his 60's and takes care of his elderly stepfather. He has had bad health and not able to work much so they are not doing well financially. After checking with his neighbor, she assured me that cash would go along way for them and that it wouldn't be used for inappropriate things (drugs, alcohol, etc). She said he had just mentioned to her that he could really use a miracle right now. I presented this idea to the kids and suggested we all give a little of the money that was allotted to us from Grandma and Grandpa Whitley to him. They were all very willing so we made a plate of treats, added a cute Teddy Bear, and made a card to put all the money in. Chelsey decided we could use a little more money in there so she added what cash she had in her wallet, which wasn't just a tiny bit. I was so proud of all my kids, they didn't even flinch at the idea. We drove to his house and speedy Nick took it to his doorstep, rang the bell and ran for cover. How great would it be to be able to witness the reaction when he found his little package. But we can't, so we drove aways discussing how he might be feeling knowing someone was thinking of him and loved him enough to give to him.

Today felt like Christmas.

Bettin on Horses

2011-12-20T06:32:00.000-07:00

I saw a clip on Disney Channel about a boy being raised by a single mom and they were worried about where he was headed. She sent him to work on his uncles Ranch and instead of just being a farm hand, he learned to ride and do some roping. It was a positive change for his life and gave him something to focus on and to have a passion for. It occurred to me that we have several available "ranches" where I live and maybe this would be something that was good for my son. I hadn't given it a lot of thought past that until we were at our Ward party and he sat for a long time just holding a lamb. While watching him, it also happened to be that the girl I serve with in YW was standing right by me and she and her husband do Rodeos for a living. They also live about a quarter mile from me. All the ducks seemed to swim right into line!

I mentioned to them about what I had seen and what my idea was and asked if they had anything they could offer for him. They both seemed very willing to let him come help take care of their horses and to let him learn to rope a little. When I mentioned it to my son, he was as excited as he ever gets. Which isn't very, but he didn't oppose at all. I think he will be really great at it! They said they could start working with him right after Christmas, perfect!

I also happen to visit teach this same gal and while I was there talking with her yesterday, she told me that her husband had said that he felt a really strong impression to help and be involved with this boy while we were talking that day. That made me so happy! I was afraid they might see it as me pawning off my at risk teenager to them. I know there's a lot of research out there about the healing power of horses, I'm just hoping it will work here as well. He is really a good boy with so much potential, but just no drive to get anything accomplished. He loves animals and he's so good athletically that I think this is the perfect thing to give him "something". This would be the only time you would ever here me say "I can't wait till Christmas is over!"

This Week

2011-12-17T22:25:00.000-07:00

Soooo, this last week was spent without my mom. My Uncle Chet died suddenly the week before , so she went back for his funeral. I really loved Uncle Chet and am so sad for all the family that will be without him, he was much too young. While she was gone, I mostly stayed in jammies, but while I did that, I got a little movie watching done. It rained for 2 straight days here, unheard of!! I took full advantage... clicked on the fireplace, turned on all the Christmas lights, got some hot chocolate and put on a movie. So great!!

Rhett and Brooklyn had another race and Rhett finally stepped it up. It was only 3 schools but he got 8th place this time. I think he was like 24th before. When I looked up his times from last year, they were much better that what he has run so far. This time he did much better and actually looked like he was running hard when he came through. He beat his last time by 40 seconds. That's a lot for only a mile and a half. I was really proud of him for trying so hard.

We had our Christmas Bunko this week. It was a really good time. We had discussed discontinuing bunko for next year but decided to keep it going but only 4 times a year. I hope it works out and that it goes better than it has been. It was still a really good night. I have great friends!!

Sniff, Sneeze, Cough

2011-12-17T22:17:00.000-07:00

Right after Glee ended, I finally got what everyone in my house already had. The snotty, coughing, sneezing goo. Blech! I was truly grateful that it waited till I was done with the show so I was trying to look on the bright side, but I'm a really bad sick person. I'm not exaggerating when I say I didn't comb my hair for three days. I washed it, didn't even dry or straighten it and then didn't touch it for the next 2 days. I pretty much just stayed in my jammies that whole time and didn't go anywhere. Crazy. I did have to make a trip to the store for something my kids needed last minute for school. I made him go with me looking all nasty and told him that was the consequence for not telling me sooner!

Luckily it only lasted a few days and now I just have a tiny bit of it left. Very grateful for that! I didn't run or anything this week so I seriously need to hit it this next week. I actually feel like it right now so we'll see how it goes Monday. I'm running out of time for excuses. This however is the main reason I got behind on my blogging, I didn't want to come out of my hole. Ü

Where are You Christmas?

2011-12-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

I really love that song, but that's kind of what I'm feeling this year. Last year I thought I was missing out cuz I was too busy. I wouldn't say that was the case this year. I still feel like it's not here yet. Like the month went by and I didn't FEEL it. So I started thinking about what could be causing this. The only thing that made sense to me was my kids. I believe it's because my kids are big now. Our Christmas' were always spent in awe and wonder. Just driving past lights would get oooh's and aahh's from everyone. We would spend many evenings watching goofy little Christmas movies and talking about all the exciting things coming up. Now.... they're just big. I still have Bo and Katy, but they have been ruined. Silly little cartoons are not cool enough for them. Now it's big kids who make fun of Christmas songs and give no heed to the little things. Sure, they all like Christmas, but it's just not the same. The magic of it has kinda gone away. Some how I need to figure out how to get it back for myself. I miss that part. I want everything to be a wonder again. I am reminded of my SIL's blog title.. Treasure These Moments... I guess I didn't realize it wouldn't always be like that. Life sure would sure be easier if we could live it backwards!!

Glee

2011-12-17T22:04:00.000-07:00

Well, I think I can finally blog about this. The show went really well, pretty much exactly what we expected. We had a full house and the kids were all really excited to finally perform. Only a few tears before the show, a little nerves from a few. They all sucked it up and performed anyway. It was weird to watch it from a different perspective. I thought I would sleep really well that night, but instead I woke up often with songs in my head and visions of different choreography. It only took a couple of days to get all that out of my head. It was an experience like none other that I've had. Some was really good and other parts weren't. I learned a lot and have a new respect for many different things. I have no idea if my future has any more directing in it! I only posted pics of my kids (Rhett and Dalin) here. All the pics are on FB.

Nick helped with the lights again for this show. We got pizza right before so all the "helpers" could eat.

Whitley was going to help with lights, but ended up as photographer instead. Thanks Whit!!

Before we opened the theater to the audience, we had a little dance party to get everyone loosened up.

This was my favorite number, The Boys are Back. Not just cuz it was one I did, but also because my boys were in it and they are just plain cool! The girls went crazy every time they performed it. I even saw phones out videoing it during rehearsal. Short story about Rhett. When Glade went back stage during this performance, the girls were all giggly and talking about Rhett and how talented and cute he was. They didn't know his dad was right there in the room. Glade said he has reason to have a big head. Too cute.

They also sang Take Me Out to the Ballgame. Dalin was hilarious. He's just funny even when he's not trying.

Molly asked each of the directors to get up and say a few words between a couple of the songs so the kids had time to change costumes. This was me blabbering away.

Family Pics by the Tree

2011-12-11T20:43:00.000-07:00

It's that time again!! Yep, dress 'em up, shove 'em all in a tight group and force 'em to act like they love each other. Isn't that how everyone does family pictures?? We have 8 am church now so when I woke them up early to make sure everyone was ready by 7:15, not everyone was so happy. We also had to practice our song for today so it was a busy morning. I even got our cards ordered and can pick them up tomorrow. I didn't post that picture, cuz that wouldn't be any fun at all! So here are the fruits of our labors.

As for our singing in church, well... we did it. From where I was standing, it sounded pretty bad. Maybe I could just hear myself, I don't know. But I'm pretty sure since we messed up the lyrics in the same spot on both verses, it wasn't that great of a performance. Now, everyone was certainly smiling at us as we sang so we at least brought joy to those before us. (even if it was in the form of comic relief) We, of course, received many compliments after about how well we did. My favorite and most accurate was this : I felt the Spirit of it! Thanks Steph, for being honest! ♥ I also got the : Is that YOUR whole family, what did I count.. NINE?? I think we can rest assured that we won't be called on to sing in sacrament for awhile now.

We're Singing in Church

2011-12-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Blech!! How does one like me, a non singer, end up in a family full of them?? Am I supposed to go up there and smile and lipsync.. all along knowing that everyone watching KNOWS I'm lipsyncing?? Or do I lend my offkey voice to that of my family and prove to everyone just why I should be lipsyncing?? OR, do I just stay put in my seat and watch the entire rest of my family perform a beautiful number? Why did I not get this gift, even just a smidge?? I knew I should have learned sign language or practiced harder on the flute. Did I mention... Blech!!!!?

Turkey Trot 2011

2011-12-04T13:02:00.000-07:00

As per tradition, we awoke early Thanksgiving day and headed out for the annual 10k Turkey Trot. We have come to make it a family event where everyone runs something. Even Mom walked the whole 10k with us. Bo, Katy and Chelsey all did the 2 mile this year. The rest did the whole 6.2 miles. Aside from Stephen who is still injured from his fall at the Grand Canyon. Did I ever blog about that? Anyway, he stayed and watched the little ones at the park while the rest of us ran.

It was a beautiful day for running! Only slightly chilly with total cloud cover. You can't know what having no sunshine does for me. I hadn't prepared as much as I had wanted, so I wasn't looking for my best time this year. I did however, want to beat Glade. Ongoing competitiveness. I know. Anyway, Mom and I got stuck in the line for the bathroom so we didn't start the race until everyone had already taken off. I found I actually like that. Instead of people passing me, I was doing all of the passing. I'm pretty sure I passed over a thousand people. I say that because I did better than about 1300 people in the race and since I started last, that only makes sense! I ran the best I could, I really did. I couldn't have pushed much harder. I kept telling myself that it's only temporary, it's just one race. You can do it!! I came in at 1:01:30. I was really happy with that, I thought I could do at least an hour and four minutes so this was good. Now, to find out how Glade did. I knew it would be close, but only 22 seconds apart? Seriously? I had to admit defeat. Just one less drink of water, maybe a little more sprint at the end. You can find a lot of things that would have made you 22 seconds faster!

The only real killer thing here was that Dalin beat Glade by 11 seconds. Awesome! He had been on the treadmill regularly training. I was really proud of him. The best part of the whole day is watching all your friends and family cross the finish line or to see them cheering for you as you finish. It's become one of our favorite things to do and a big part of that is how many of our friends bring their families as well. It really is a perfect was to start the day!

Dalin, Rhett, Nick and our good friend Jake.

Chelsey, Bo and Katy waiting to start the two mile

Our Family times:

Rhett 47:40 he beat the turkey on the home stretch

Nick 57:48 Not bad for a kid who spent no time training

Dalin 1:00:57 PR

Glade 1:01: 08 PR

Laurie 1:01:30

Whitley 1:12:23 PR

Mom 1:27:32

Brooklyn 1:30:21 beat her time by several minutes of last year

I have a testimony of .... lugies?

2011-12-04T12:38:00.000-07:00

In our church, the first Sunday of the month is what we call Fast and Testimony week. We each fast for whatever reasons we choose and then for sacrament meeting, we share testimonies with each other. Anyone is allowed to come to the stand and share the feelings of their heart in regards to the Gospel. Today was that day. My kids love to get up and bear their testimonies. After a few too many "rote" testimonies, we told them that unless they actually had something they wanted to share, they needed to let the time be left for others. Today Dalin asked if he could go up. I always cringe just slightly because you just never know what will come out.

Dalin is probably my most nerve inducing. He likes to think outside the box and say things that he has learned somewhere along the line. Most of the time, he is accurate in what he "knows to be true" but other times, you shake your head a little and think "oh my.." So when he stood today, I sat on the edge of my seat waiting to see how it would go. This is how it went:

Dalin steps to the microphone, leans in close and says "Hi, my name is Dalin Smith... pause...*then it happened* he intended to clear his throat and what came out instead was a big hacking, nasty sounding noise, full with tongue out and everything, right into the microphone. Oh sheesh.... He then says "sorry" with a slight smile and begins his testimony. It was very short and very simple... "I know that if we hold to the iron rod.. *pause..lip tremble.. eyes well up.. look to mom for support... voice shaky...* we can have eternal life" He then wiped his tears, ended his testimony and came to sit with his now crying mother who could only give him a long squeeze of the hand to let him know how proud I was of him. Lugie and all.

Addicted to - Need?

2011-12-04T12:27:00.000-07:00

I'm sure this will be a really rambly, all over the place kind of post. After a very long day of Glee, School Carnival and an early morning parade, I just wanted to go to bed. I was there, 9:15.. kids tucked in or at least sent that direction, blankets up to my chin, brain settling... "Mommy..." No! I'm sleeping, or at least about to be. Go back to bed! What??? No, I didn't say any of that, those were just my actual thoughts. I nicely said "What honey?" Then a very sad, lip trembling little 4 year old comes to my bedside and tries to tell me why she is upset between her choked back sobs as she tries to not cry. Bo won't hold her hand. She can't go to sleep if Bo won't hold her hand. I pat the bed next to me and she climbs up and snuggles in. As she lays there, I see her clenching her fists and whispering something. I ask her what she said and she replies "I'm just talking to myself." I ask her what she is telling herself and she says this "Don't cry, you're alright!" I hold her tighter and she takes a deep breath and relaxes.

Is it possible to be addicted to this? By this, I think I mean the feeling of being needed. Not just needed, but being the ONE. The only one who really makes it all better? I'm having a little anxiety about that as I watch her and Bo grow older and become independent and logical. What happens when there's no little ones to climb in bed and need you anymore?? I know my big kids still need me and I feel that special bond only a mother knows often with them, but it's different. They have figured out that I'm not perfect. Katy and Bo are the only ones left who don't know that yet. They don't know that kisses really don't make it better or that I've gained 15 lbs this year or that I'm totally making stuff up when they ask me hard questions.

As I lay there holding Katy, my heart actually ached thinking about losing these moments. She's about to be five. Five!! Sure lots of other things have gotten easier as they get older and I have more freedom, I realize that, but how can I just not have these sweet little ones anymore? No, I don't want to have another baby... I'm not dumb. To everything there is a season... but I'm not ready for that season to be over. Mom assures me that having grandbabies is so great, even better, but I can't say I believe her. Even a Grandma isn't the ONE. Don't get me wrong, I'm plenty happy to enter that phase, but I just can't imagine leaving the one I'm about to. It breaks my heart, literally. Surely there's a 12 step program for this.

Christmas 2009

The Holidays

2011-12-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

Well, it's finally actually here... the Holidays! I can legally decorate, blast Jingle Bells and shop till I drop! The Saturday after Thanksgiving we put our tree and decorations up. I like to do this while the kids are at school so it's not so chaotic, but I decided it would be more fun to do it together. It was fun... but... it was also really chaotic. The little ones just grabbed decorations and stuck them the first place they came to. I'm not talking about on the tree, the other stuff. Finally I told them if they would all get real clothes on I would take them to Taco Bell. That ended the decorating and I was able to take a breath and come back and try to make some sense out of all of it.

Monday I put up MY tree and then Whitley and I decorated it when she got home from school. Then Nick and I did the outside lights. I had to make a few trips to the store to get enough lights to cover it all but we finally got it finished. Until... I put up the very last string of lights.... POW... blew the fuse. Dang! So, I had to do a little changing around and fuse replacement, but they are all on and working now. December 1st and my house is decorated and almost cleaned, my lights are up and my shopping is all but done. I have also started reading the book Mary and Joseph again, I thought it appropriate at this time of year. Now a whole 3 weeks to just enjoy. I just have to actually remember to slow down and do that!

Glee is over in a week. It has finally come together to a place I can be happy with. Our performance is next Friday so we still have a busy week of rehearsals and last minute things, but then I get to have a little breather. It's been a truly learning and growing experience. I have loved dancing all the time and putting things together on a stage. It's also been stressful, but when you see your finished product, you remember why you did it in the first place.

Rhett and Brooklyn started track this last week and today was their first meet. It was cold and raining in the beginning. Neither one knows their time, but it was not their best race. Brooklyn was last, just like last year, but we are hoping she can at least improve her own time and work on running longer stretches. Rhett was 12th which sounds pretty good, but he should have been about 3rd or 4th. He came off crying. I'm not really sure what happened, but he said he was freezing and sweating at the same time and it was freaking him out. I'm sure he'll do better next time. I love to watch him run. Speaking of Rhett, we are having a repeat of Camp Rock, in Glee, regarding the girls. Yep, they are flocking. I'm having to reign him in to try and keep him a little more humble. Its hard when girls run up to you as soon as they see you and they tell you about all their friends who like you and adults and little girls alike are telling you what an amazing dancer you are. We're gonna try and keep his head to a reasonable size!

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-12-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

We went to the Inter Stake Center to be with Glade's family on Wednesday night like we always do. For the first time ever, we actually ran out of food! We had a really large group of extended family this year. Normally the kids all just play in the gym, but this year, Glade brought the Spinny Thing. So pretty much everyone just stayed outside and watched and took turns on that.

The next morning we all woke up early and headed to the Turkey Trot. I will do a separate post about that. After, we came home, got the turkey in the pressure cooker, put some things in the oven and waited. Well, actually, we took showers and cleaned up and such. On our way home from the Turkey Trot, I got a text from a friend who was just wishing us a Happy Thanksgiving and it turns out theirs wasn't until tomorrow and they were headed to a movie and dinner. We insisted they come be with us instead. It was really fun to have more people over for dinner. They and their 4 kids came and enjoyed dinner with us and took a few rides on the Spinny Thing as well. Not only did the Williams family join us, buy my mom brought a friend as well. So fun!!

Traditionally we go see a movie that night, but decided to forego that this year and do a dessert bar instead. Every kid was in charge of making a dessert. Holy cow!! Because we ate a little later, no one had any room for dessert so it mostly just became left overs. It was fun having them all make their own dessert though. I think the Oreo Balls were the only thing consumed that day.

The evening ended with shopping ads, lists and plans on how we were going to get it all done. It turned out to be a very fun, eventful day filled with food and friends and family and shopping!! What more could one ask for??

A Preschool Thanksgiving

2011-12-01T19:32:00.000-07:00

Katy's preschool class had a little "Friendship Feast" for Thanksgiving where we all went and watched them sing some very darling songs about Turkeys and then all shared a breakfast casserole. I wish I could remember to take a video camera to these events cuz they are always so dang cute!! Katy is not at all shy and sang her little heart out the whole time. She is (obviously) the biggest one in her class, almost a full year older than the other girls, and puts it all out there in her performance. I loved watching her and couldn't decide on just one picture!!

As Katy and I were working on the tree the other morning, I left the "scene" and when I came back, she had tied this ribbon to the railing and was swinging from it. Actually swinging, like Tarzan!! I freaked of course and asked her what she was doing and she gave me a very logical answer - "I was being like Rapunzel". I explained the risks of swinging from railings that weren't meant to hold a childs weight and asked her to please NEVER do that again. Then I asked her to just pretend like she was going to swing so I could take a picture. Very confusing for her, I'm sure.

Unfortunately Funny

2011-11-27T20:09:00.001-07:00

Some things are just plain funny. And some things you don't want to watch, but you can't NOT watch. That was the case as Whitley and I waited in the return line at Wal Mart the other day. Right as we walked up, a lady, about 50, with crazy hair and her belly roll hanging out of her sweater approached a cashier and proceeded to ~~tell~~ yell at her about the lack of help behind the counter. I think her precise words were "with half of America out of work you can't even get someone to help behind a counter!" We all looked at each other awkwardly as she stomped back to her place in line. I was feeling a bit ornery so I said sort of loudly "well Merry Christmas!". She happened to be the next one in line so we all watched as the train wreck continued.

She was really jittery, I thought maybe she was on crack or something. She kept switching her weight from one foot to the other and flipping her unruly hair out of her eye. Which, incidentally, would fall right back into her eye. We couldn't hear what was being said but we could see that she was returning soap. Yep, two big jugs of Softsoap. Kinda weird, but whatever. When he asked for her ID or something, she opened her ~~purse~~ duffel bag and began to dig through it. She dug and dug, flipped her hair back, dug some more, flipped again dug, dug, flip, dug, flip and finally came up with something. The very nice man told her to go get new soap and come back.

She had a George Foreman in her cart and she didn't want that to be messed with . She informed him she would just park her cart over here (next to the wall). He told her that would be fine, then she decided that might be too risky and maybe she should choose another spot. He told her it would be fine and he would tell this lady (a coworker) not to touch it. Just as he said that, she gave him the big "talk to the hand" and told him she would do it because "she was good at giving orders". Really! She said that, she told him she was good at giving orders!! At that point I could no longer contain myself and laughed right out loud. Total LOL. I'm pretty sure that made my whole day. She left to go find new soap and as I stepped to the counter I gave the young man my praises for his ability to remain kind and without a single eye roll or snicker.

It was then that he informed us that the reason she was returning the soap was because someone had broken into her house, stole her passport and "tampered with her soap". Yep. Tampered with her soap. Not to go on a tangent, but is it really Wal Marts responsibility to replace your tampered with soap?? Anyway, the whole thing was just too unreal to not be hilarious.

However, later I decided I felt really bad for enjoying her situation as much as I did. I think she probably really is a little skitzo. Like, actually. That made me sad for her to have to live a life so abnormally paranoid and crazy. I felt guilty for laughing and making fun of something that she was very serious and obviously distraught about. I can't help that it was funny, cuz it was... but I can feel more compassion and less ridicule. I'm grateful for a clear and very useful brain. I guess I take that for granted. I never worry about my soap hurting me. So in the future, I will think before I laugh, or at least shortly after (some things are just funny) to try and be more understanding of things I don't really understand.

PS - If she was really on crack, I take it all back cuz that's self inflicted skitzo and then it's really funny again.

Black Friday Miracles

2011-11-27T13:34:00.000-07:00

This year Black Friday was not like any other year and honestly, I didn't like it. This year most of the big stores opened at 10pm or midnight. Because of this, many people who wouldn't normally go shopping on this day, did. This caused, in my opinion, much more chaos. Those people don't go knowing how crazy it's going to be, knowing the lines are long, and it's highly likely you won't get everything on your list. I blame these people for the added violence, contention and aggression that I haven't normally witnessed. Just my opinion.

This year, before I headed out at 8pm on Thanksgiving night, I decided to just jump on line and see if there was anything I could do from home. Wow! Both Target and Toys R Us had many things already available at their Black Friday prices. (I know because I did my homework) I was able to get just about everything I needed from both stores sent right to my home. One was free shipping and the other was $5. Now all I had to do was get what I needed at Wal Mart.

I headed out with Stephen in tow only to find that this particular Wal Mart allowed shoppers to tear open the cellophane wrapped pallets around 6 pm. Thus, leaving many things empty or on short supply by the time I got there at 8. It was seriously crazy. Normally the pallets are guarded until the clock strikes, but not this year. Stephen and I split up so we could find the stuff on my list. We were able to find everything but one thing. I was a little sad cuz I knew everyone else would be out of it as well. We were allowed to get all our goods, but not check out until 10pm. We waited just over an hour in the check out line waiting for it to be time. While there, we saw many people we knew so we chatted to pass the time. As I talked to a girl I knew briefly a long time ago, I mentioned the one thing I didn't find. When she left, the girl in the line next to me pulled that very item out of her basket and handed it to me!! She said they changed their mind and I could have hers!! I wanted to cry right there. Sweetness to the max! We were checked out and driving home by 10:15. I got a full 8 hours of sleep that night.

The next morning I was awakened by a text asking if I was sleeping and how was I not out shopping?? I got up and headed out again to look for my non essentials (that's what I call pjs and extra stuff like that). I stopped at Target first and it was like a ghost town. I parked up front, shopped with hardly anyone around and had several checker outers invite me to their empty lines. Weird. After that I went and met Tracie and mom for our tradional breakfast on this day. We then headed to a few more stores, rounded up a few more treasures and then parted ways. Tracie was pooped (she shopped all night) and Mom had to go to work. I went to the mall. This is where my 2nd miracle took place.

JcPenny had a coupon where you saved a certain amount dependant on how much you spent. I was gathering the things that were a bargain and seeing how much that got me to. I found something I wanted that was a seriously good deal and was so excited, but they didn't have exactly what I needed. The guy says he can order it online and have it sent to my house for free. I said that was great but I couldn't do it yet since I needed to find the rest of my items so I could use my coupon. He said not to worry about it and let me use the coupon anyway! SO, instead of paying $30 for the item (which is a great price), I got it for $20. And mailed to my house!!! The way everything worked out, I also got Katy's Christmas dress, normally $50, on sale for $25... for $15. I would say that was a successful stop!!

We also had gotten a coupon in the paper for a free movie cup with purchase of a popcorn t-shirt. Since we buy one anyway, we went to take advantage of that. Bonus: they let us get a free popcorn and soda as well!! Perfect treat for middle of the day!

Finally I was shopped out and had most of what I needed anyway so I went to deliver it to my secret hiding place, aka: Mom's house. I had made plans with Tracie to meet up with our hubbies for dinner since it was date night, that was only 2 hours away so I took a quick nap and headed out for dinner. We had a yummy dinner and then headed home for BED! No, I didn't get up early, but man.. how a whole day of shopping can tucker you out.

Once home I decided I would see if there was anything I still needed available online. I was able to get the rest of what I wanted online, plus a deal I didn't even know they had that got me something free with what I was going to buy anyway!! Perfect ending to a really crazy day.

Volunteer

2011-11-22T21:11:00.000-07:00

vol·un·teer (vln-tîr) n.

1. A person who performs or offers to perform a service voluntarily

1. to offer (oneself or one's services) for an undertaking by choice and without request or obligation

This is what I do for Glee. Volunteer. I give hours of my time to give these kids an opportunity to learn and perform and have experiences they wouldn't otherwise have. I stress about it, cry about it, laugh about it and take pride in it. I leave my family to go be with that family. I do my best.

I have been truly amazed at the whining, demanding and down right offensive parents that have yelled, emailed, thrown tantrums right in front of the kids and just plain were RUDE to us as directors. Really?? I can't think of one incident as of yet where a parent has come up and said THANKS for doing this for my child. I've always been on the other side, as the parent, and I'm sure I have never really appreciated all that has gone on in behalf of my children.

My request now is this: If you have a child that participates in anything where their leader is a volunteer. Be nice!! They weren't trained and paid to do what they do, they volunteered! I don't need a gift card at the end of the season or a plaque, but some respect and patience along the way would be rather nice.

*deep breath* I do it for the other kids, the ones who come to practice, give a hug before they leave, follow direction and love being there. Those are the families I volunteer for. For them, I do it.

A Princess

2011-11-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

Today I had to teach a lesson on Individual worth to my young women. This is a tender subject to me because I have been the girl who felt like a nobody and I have also been the girl that has had a strong witness that I'm somebody. It breaks my heart to think of any of them feeling like a nobody and it fills me with a sense of urgency to make sure they know they are somebody. I knew I wouldn't get through the lesson without a few tears, but it wasn't too bad. I just hope that at least someone went away with the assurance that they matter. That Heavenly Father knows them and loves them and has a plan for them. That is my wish. During Sunday School, the teacher read a little excerpt from a story and it fit my lesson so well that I asked him if I could have his notes for my lesson. This is what it said:

From the story A Little Princess:

The character Sara teaches the other orphans "I am a princess," she says. "All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young. They're still princesses. All of us."

She behaves as a princess herself - not a princess who expects to be waited upon, but a princess who knows she is of value, and who serves others with kindness. "Whatever comes,' she said, 'cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one else knows it."

Not everyone can see the princess inside, or treat us like the princesses we are, but it doesn't change that we are. We are daughters of a King. A Heavenly King! There are no nobody-s to Him.

Underwear Buddies

2011-11-18T07:47:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me well knows that I really don't like wearing pants. In fact, just last night I came home from Glee, went to the bathroom and then went to sweep the kitchen floor. Glade came down and said "Are you seriously out of your pants already?!" So it should come as no surprise that when I take a nap (which I hardly ever do!) I take my pants off first.

The other day Katy had on some jeans that were kinda tight on her. She was saying they were uncomfortable and we were just about to lay down for our naps. I told her to just take them off and sleep in her undies. She thought that would be really silly, but I pointed out to her that I did it every time we took a nap. She giggled and slowly took off her jeans. She climbed up to the bed, and snuggled in. She giggled again and mention how funny it was.

A few days later, I was working on the computer and she came to the office door, yanked down her stretchy pants and said "I'm ready for my nap!" I laughed and told her I would be right there. While getting comfy, she settled in and said "We're underwear buddies!" As strange and slightly awkward as that sounds... Yes, yes we are!!

1st Losers OK with Me!

2011-11-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

I won! I won! Ok, so I was the "1st loser"... as my kids put it...in a pie contest at our ward party. I got second place with my apple pie. I didn't feel at all bad about losing to Valerie cuz everything she makes is delectable!! Wanna know what I won? I should take a picture. Maybe I will once I get my trophy properly displayed. It's an 18x24 portrait of our first counselor in the Bishopric. Yep, close up and everything. I'm supposed to display it until the next ward function when I will then hand it over to the next "first loser" of whatever contest they have. Until then I will look at this very large picture of Brother Clare and think "dang I make a good apple pie!"

We had a terrible lesson in Sunday school on Sunday. It was about appreciating our trials and why they are good for us. What always bothers me about these lessons is that we haven't really had any serious trials. Nothing big and daunting or testimony shaking. Life's been pretty easy for us. Now, I'm aware that I'm only half way through my life, but all the comments are kinda hurtful. You know, things like "if you're not being tested it's because Satan already has you" or "You must not be destined for great things". I feel like we are doing all that we can to be strong and teach our kids. I know there's always more and we're far from perfect, but really....Satan already has us??? Wasn't exactly an uplifting lesson for me.

Today I spent good quality time with Glade, Katy, Chelsey, Whitley and Bo. Just little bits of time, but bits that make the difference. Time that is just ours. I just need to make sure we share the love! Chelsey and I went jeans shopping. Glade, Katy and I went to lunch and it was so sweet to see her snuggle up to him and want to be right next to him. Whitley and I went for a run together. Which, might I add, was a good run! The fastest I have run in quite some time. I even thought I might puke! Whitley made the comment how she was a little embarrassed that her mother could run faster than her. Uh-huh, that's right.

I made lasagna for dinner. That's maybe 3 times ever for us. I love it, but kids always whine. Today I just did it anyway and there was very little complaining. It was very refreshing. I ate way too much though. I just love that crusty, burned cheese around the edges!! After, we had FHE and Bo cuddled with me and we had a nice talk about smiling and how it can make someone have a great day. He has such an awesome and sincere smile. I just adore him.

I'm on my 8th book of the Work and the Glory for the second time. Now that the weather has cooled off, it's really hard not to just snuggle in my bed and read. It feels good to be all cozy in the blankets and loving what you're reading. Too bad there's not more hours in the day! But since there's not, I guess I'll head that direction now. Being grateful for my very easy and blessed life. (even if it means we suck Ü )

THAT kind of day

2011-11-09T14:13:00.000-07:00

Some days are harder than others and some are just more enjoyable as well. Today started with the anticipation of a few things I was NOT looking forward to.
First, getting up early to take two kids to get physicals so they wouldn't miss the first day of tryouts... which start today. Nope, doesn't start till Monday. Ahhh.
-Looking inside the fridge to notice not one person ate the left over pizza from last night...breakfast!!
-Getting work over with first thing so it wasn't hovering all day.
-Saying a prayer and finding the thing you were sure you would never find.
-While searching, finding something you needed but totally weren't looking for!
-NOT having to run the the DMV today.
-Only being on hold for 3 minutes when you were expecting 30.
-NOT having to call the person and tell them you couldn't find the thing you really needed.
-Having 2 hours all to yourself to can apple pie filling
-Having exactly enough apples to fill just the right amount of jars to make two full batches.
-Having the exact right amount of cash to pay for preschool since you just ran out of checks (that was before I found an extra one)

All this before noon??? Should I be afraid? Nope, just gonna enjoy all the little tender mercies.

Fat Pants

2011-11-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

I'm sure anyone who has seen me in the last few months knows I'm not the same size I was last year at this time. Actually a good 15 pounds heavier. Totally sucks. Well since the weather has cooled a tiny bit, I've had the opportunity to get out my jeans. My last years jeans. As you surely know, 15 lbs does not keep you in the same size! I have squeezed my fatter butt into jeans they should not be in and even had to do the pregnancy rubber band trick a few times. It's highly uncomfortable and extremely disheartening.

Before we went to San Fran I bought myself some fat pants. Ahhhh, sweet relief. After our last camping trip, they disappeared. What?? I need those pants!! I stuffed myself into my old jeans for another couple of weeks sure they would turn up. I questioned every kid, insisted they go through their rooms and closets to see if they somehow got up there. Nothing. Finally, the other night, I bought another pair. I won't buy many cuz I'm NOT staying this way very long. (I've said that since January) But really, not gonna do it. I wore my new fat pants all day Saturday to Glee practice and out on our date that night. It was wonderful. Seriously. I have no idea why people intentionally where tight jeans.

So this morning I mentioned out loud (sarcastic voice totally included) that I bought new fat pants since my old ones mysteriously disappeared. Whitley piped up and said "oh yah, they're up in my room." Are you kidding me?? I made her go get them.. at least I can trade off fat pants now. Hmmm, they look vaguely familiar. Let me check... yep.. exactly like the pair I just bought. Nice, now I have two pair of identical fat pants. Who could ask for anything more??

Stretching

2011-11-06T13:25:00.000-07:00

I'm not super good at stretching myself. It's uncomfortable. My calling dealing with the young women is very far out of my comfort zone. Trying to get back into running has not been at all comfortable. Recently I decided to try my hand at directing. I volunteered to assist the production of Glee at the theater. It's not like Glee the tv show, just like a show choir. I thought that would be fun and insightful. Well, it's turned out to be a little bit of a mess and slightly chaotic and stressful. You see, the girl who was supposed to actually direct it, who has experience.. decided to drop out about six weeks into it. Had she done it close to the beginning, it would have been challenging, but being in the middle made a lot of pieces for us to try to put back together. Unhappy girls and parents and a lot of catching up to do. The really ironic part of all of this is that it left me and another girl, Sarah, to put on the whole show. Neither of us have ever done it before and I don't sing and she doesn't dance. Funny, huh? We were left the sole responsibility to choose, choreograph and teach all 35 or so numbers for about 80 kids. Still funny? Not so much.

We enlisted the help of a couple of other women and my daughter Chelsey. They have been so helpful, but the drama that has transpired because of this has been almost unbearable. Lucky for me I have been able to keep control of my tongue, for the most part, to complaining and critical parents and girls.

I would never quit on them or shun my responsibility to them although it has not been the experience I thought it would be. Because I know how much my own kids have benefited from the theater experience, I am committed to making the best possible experience for my Glee kids as I can. It has involved a few tears, a lot of hours and much anxiety but it's finally starting to come together. This last Saturday was the first time I could actually see that maybe it was going to all be OK. The directer at the Theater, Molly, has been a lifesaver to us and is quite inspiring to be around. I love the way she relates to the kids and the way they respond to her. I can only hope for that kind of rapport. We have about 5 weeks till our performance and it's filled with a lot of last minute cramming and teaching and perfecting. I'm determined to enjoy it. Sometimes we stretch a little farther than maybe is even good for us, but we always come out with learning and understanding and appreciation for things we didn't necessarily understand before. I have definitely come away with that! I just hope these kids walk away feeling proud and accomplished and excited for more opportunities. That will make it all worth it.

Grandpa's Visit

2011-11-06T13:02:00.000-07:00

Grandpa Whitley came to visit us a week or so ago from Illinois. He got in very late on a Sunday night and stayed until Thursday afternoon. On Monday, since the kids had school, we went to get the big kids and take them to lunch since they had already left before Grandpa woke up. We went to Arby's and then a quick stop at Costco before taking them back. That night we all went to see the kids do their final performance of Camp Rock.

The next day the kids had the play during the day for field trip kids to come watch so Glade took Grandpa golfing. I don't know exactly how it went but they came home in one piece! That night Glade and I had our final marriage class so Granpa got left for dinner duty. He made his famous Maid Rite sandwiches. I wolfed one down as I went out the door and it was delicious!

On Wednesday we let the kids play hookie from school and went for a hike in the San Tans. It was a really pretty day to be out and we were able to make it up and back with only one skinned knee. That night we went to the pumpkin patch farm and corn maze. It rained on us just enough to get everyone wet. I think everyone had a really good time though.

Thursday we mostly just kind of hung out till it was time to take him to the airport. It wasn't terribly exciting and adventurous, but it was really nice to see him and have him with us for a short time. Unfortunately he just got to join in to our crazy daily lives for a bit. We sure wish Grandma could have made it with him!!

Halloween 2011

2011-11-06T12:51:00.000-07:00

Halloween was cheap and easy this year. I'm not sure I really bought anything. The kids did great at coming up with their own things or buying it themselves from the dollar store. We had our Ward Trunk or Treat on the Saturday before. Some of the big kids left to go help with a haunted house their friends were putting on, while Nick was our diligent candy passer outer. The little ones ran with their friends and collected goodies. Always a family favorite event.

Stephen

Nick wasn't going to really wear anything and I found this shirt one day so I bought it. It bugs the crap out of me that he uses the phrase "I'm too lazy" for just about everything, but I couldn't resist.

Brooklyn

Rhett and his newfound love for the fedora. (I guess the girls like it )

Katy

Boldon

Dalin's costume just never really came together. I felt bad for him. We ended up putting a blindfold over his eyes (with cutouts) so to be like zorro but that only lasted a short while. Lucky for me he can be pretty laid back.

On actual Halloween we had some friends over on a last minute decision to not go trick or treating. Instead, we ordered pizza, decorated cookies and played a few games. It was a hit and there wasn't a single complaint about being home. The big kids all jumped in the van to go visit a couple of haunted houses close by.

Whitley dressed up like a nerd.

No shortage of children here!

Nick, and Whitley with one of their friends

Kenna and Katy decorating cookies

Tanner and Bo

Stephen and Cole

I didn't see much of Chelsey this Halloween, she's all big now. This is a picture of her and Spencer at their ward's Halloween party. Too cute!

It Makes Scents

2011-11-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

Glade says I have an overactive sense of smell. I smell everything. I'm pretty sure it's a girl thing. I buy most of my beauty products based on smell alone. (Now you know why I look like I do!) Yesterday I got the ~~job~~ privilege of babysitting for Chelsey while she was supposed to be babysitting so she could go the Temple with Spensy-poo. Since I was required to stay out in the living room the whole time to make sure the nine year old didn't sled down my stairs again, I decided to get out my fall decorations. Fall is definitely my favorite season! Well it would be if we had one. So I lit my pumpkin pie candle and outed all the orange and yellow fun stuff. It was perfect that the high that day was only about 74 so having the door open was pleasant and I didn't sweat even once.

Later that evening, my friend Jenny and I were able to have a girls night out. Her husband was out of town and mine was happy to stay at work so I could do some girl stuff. (Which was highly needed, but that's a whole nother crybaby post) BUT, thank you Glade! ♥ We went to dinner at SomBurro and then went over to walk around the mall. I haven't done that without a man or child in tow for a really long time! It's just different without someone pulling on your pantleg or waiting outside tapping their toe. We didn't need anything in particular, just to look at stuff with no restraints. I was fortunate enough to have just gotten a $10 off $30 in the mail for Bath and Body Works. I haven't gotten anything there in a really long time! We were able to browse and smell and chat and smell some more without any hesitation. I walked out with a really cute little bag of good smelling hand soap and a few other cute things. I get in trouble in that store. I want to buy things just on the cute packaging alone! While in a store, it rained... for a minute or two... but enough to wet the ground, send up the smell of dirt (rain), and chill the air. Perfect!!

Since the mall was closing, we decided to run over to Kohl's and roam around there. It was so nice to just wander. Although, by the time I was done with the night I really just wanted to go home and put up my Christmas tree! I don't care that Christmas is not for another 6 weeks, I can thoroughly enjoy it that long. While we were in Kohl's, we heard a really loud noise and stopped to listen. Is that rain?? Rain so hard we can hear it inside a big store?? We went to the door to check and sure enough. Only for a minute or two, but it was glorious. Rain, cold weather, good smelly stuff, Christmas everywhere and a good friend. Absolutely, positively, perfectly what the Doctor ordered!!

The Holiday Season

2011-11-01T14:46:00.000-07:00

It's here, it's finally here! While scanning FB earlier I came across an e-book about making this season simple. Of course, that appealed to my very fried brain. As I read it, it occurred to me. It's actually here. The season that is. I'm so glad someone reminded me of it so I can enjoy every single day of it. All year I look forward to these couple of months for so many reasons. As my family gets busier (and it seems to every year) these months sneak up, fly by and are barely enjoyed.

Last year I remember re-evaluating Christmas and thought "there just wasn't anything special about it". It was fine and I got everything done and had some fun times, but nothing "special". That's because I spent my time making sure I checked everything off, got it done, made the memories. Only, I think I missed the last part by hurriedly doing the first two. I swore that this year I would slow it down and do it right. Well here it is November 1st and I haven't really taken even one minute to figure out HOW I was going to do that. This little pamphlet asks some very pointed questions and helps to put a plan in order. Not a "get it done" plan, but a "how's it gonna be" plan. With everything else going on in everyday life, I am busy and sometimes even a little overwhelmed, but I'm not letting this Holiday Season pass by me and not suck every bit of enjoyment out of it I can. And that includes a lot of slowing down.

You can find the pamphlet HERE . It's not the pamphlet that was so eye opening and inspirational, but the realization that I might have missed it and how sad that would have been. I possibly could have gone through the next 60 days in a flurry of "get it done" and missed the good stuff. Having wonderful and memorable holidays is intentional, it doesn't just happen. Thankfully I'm now on my way to an intentionally fabulous Holiday Season!!

the Dream that Sticks

2011-10-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

I had the kind of dream that sticks with you all day last night. Lots of times these kinds of dreams are ones that hurt your feeling ie; cheating spouse, death of a child, etc. This was just plain weird and for some reason has stayed with me all day. Bear with me in my attempts to describe a dream that is probably not accurately describable.

In the dream I had just realized I was pregnant. About 4 months or so and the baby was really moving and kicking me. So much so that it was painful. I was pushing on my tummy trying to get it to reposition but it would just kick back. It was kicking so much that you could actually see the imprint of it's tiny little foot on my belly. Toes and all! Then, as it moved around, the shape of a flashlight also was visible on my tummy. A little bit later, there came the outline of a remote. I was very worried about having these objects in the womb with my baby but didn't know what to do about it. Since we didn't have insurance I couldn't go get an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok.

That's the point where I woke up to a twitching in my belly right where the baby had been kicking. Weird. So what I wonder now is this: was this one of those dreams where everything has a significance? Like that maybe I'm longing for a baby, some light and a little TV time? OR, is it just the product of too many Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? One has to wonder.

2011-10-28T18:23:00.000-07:00

For fall break this year we headed to the beach!! We (I) decided on Sunday morning to pack up and go that afternoon. Luckily I had just gotten groceries so we packed up whatever we had, hooked up the camper and took off. Glade, Whitley, Stephen and Rhett stayed home. Glade had to work and the other kids couldn't miss Camp Rock rehearsals. We arrived without much incident (ticket for no registration on the camper). We got there so late we just slept in the van the first night and set up camp the next day. Last time we went, we had to switch spots every day and it sucked but this time we were able to stay in the same spot the whole time. Nice!! We went with our good friends, the Johnson's and their family.

The first day we just got settled and hung out at the beach. Surprisingly it didn't feel much different than it did when we were there in July. That night when we wanted to roast marshmallows, we realized the roasters never made it in the camper, We (Nick) tore apart a broken chair and we used those for poles. It was a little precarious but we managed.

The second day we went to San Diego to see the Temple. It's so beautiful!! It's like a big castle. We walked around the gardens and took a few pictures and then headed to the Mormon Battalion Museum. So fun! It was much more than we expected. The kids got to pan for gold and dress up and do all sorts of fun things. Then we went to Seaport Village, a long time favorite. None of the kids could really remember being there, they just knew they like it. What they really meant was that they liked the pizza there! They have a seriously awesome pizza place where the pizza is like 2 in thick. After we ate, the kids all shopped for a small souvenir. We were back in camp just in time for a small nap and dinner.

The next day was just more chilling at the beach. The kids played with friends, rode scooters, played games and mostly just hung out with each other. A very relaxing time. The last day we packed up first thing and headed back. It was a great vacation! The pictures are all in a crazy random order.

Carousel at Seaport Village

Panning for gold

This was a pretend brick oven.

San Diego Temple

The infamous pizza!

These cheeseballs were the favorite of the whole trip. I kept having to hide them so kids wouldn't sneak them.

Cheesy sand hands...yum!

Dalin using a chair leg to roast his marshmallow

These are great camp grounds.. toilets, showers and outlets for flat irons !

This picture doesn't exactly do it justice but that is Chelsey trying to teach Dalin to swing dance. I think she is just torturing him right here.

Wow, I look tired. This is how Bo and Katy fell asleep almost every night.. on my lap by the fire.

At the Mormon Battalion museum they dressed Nick up like a soldier and Katy like a laundress.

Whitley's Homecoming 2011

2011-10-28T17:57:00.000-07:00

Whitley went to Homecoming with a boy named Cody. She didn't really know him that well but was pleasantly surprised at how much fun she had. He asked her while I was in Cali. He left a note and an adorable little puppy in her room and she had to figure out the clues to find it's owner. He was waiting outside for her when she figured it out. They spent the day picnicing and shooting guns. She got home JUST in enough time to head to our friends house to get her hair done. She arrived home about 15 minutes before Cody arrived.

When she wasn't coming down, I went up to check on her and she said she couldn't find her shrug that went with her dress. If you have ever seen her room that wouldn't surprise you. We looked and looked and looked and couldn't find it. I had a thought... an unpleasant one... but a pretty realistic one. Chelsey had taken it with her to Utah for the weekend. Whitley was in tears and so was Chelsey once she realized what she had done. Luckily I had gotten a shrug for my cruise. I know what you're thinking... Whitley and I are NOT the same size. Good thing they are really stretchy!! It wasn't as cute as hers, but it worked. She dried her eyes and reapplied her makeup and had a really fun time at the dance.

I don't think I'm prejudice here, but she is so stinkin gorgeous!!

Brooklyn turns 12

2011-10-28T17:39:00.001-07:00

Brooklyn's birthday was the end of September and she got the party of a lifetime! We happen to have some friends who won concert tickets after they had already bought some so they offered them to us. They were tickets to see Joe Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. Brooklyn was ecstatic and knew immediately who she wanted to take. We went along with our friends whose daughter is about the same age.

We went really early so we could get a good spot. Turns out we didn't have to cuz I guess Joe by himself doesn't sell out like when he's with his brothers. The girls had a great time though eating dinner and making signs while we waited.

Brooklyn and two of her besties - Nikona and Anna

We took chairs so we could be comfy while we waited. This is Brooklyn, Nikona, Anna and Makenzie.

This was no Disney affair. The girls that were there were very scantily dressed and the atmosphere was a little dark. When we got inside, they were serving alcohol and playing club music to which I heard many full on foul words. We were thinking we may have to leave if it stayed like this. The opening girl we didn't love but once Joe got on it was better. He had a girl on stage with him doing a little too much bumping and grinding for our little ones though. They commented on it after the show. We stayed toward the back so as to not be too much in the craziness. Even in the back, we were not more than 50 feet from the stage.

They all made posters but weren't really able to use them once we got inside.

That says "freakin love u" in case you were wondering. Ü

The concert only lasted about an hour and a half total so we went for ice cream to end the evening. They all had a ton of fun and Brooklyn was very pleased with how her birthday turned out.

This is B on her actual birthday, we didn't do a whole lot but she got her presents in the morning.

welcome to STUD-ville

2011-10-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

It's amazing what a little stardom can do for one's social life. My sweet little awkward and shy Rhett has entered STUD-ville. Up till now he has mostly been overlooked, slightly teased and pretty much just a gangly 13 year old. He got the part of Barron in Camp Rock. Barron is a hip-hopping cool kid and Rhett plays it well. One of the kids from the play said to me "DANG! Rhett can dance!" I know!! He really is good. Last night while waiting to pick them up I noticed three very cute girls swarming him. I watched in wonder, thinking "what's all that about?" I had heard some whispering about this girl or that that liked Rhett recently but I didn't think much of it. Now I'm looking at these three super cute girls batting their eyelashes at him and I'm thinking "Back off!" I have to wonder, have they just now seen in Rhett what I've always seen: a sweet boy with a very big heart who happens to be pretty cute? OR, are they swooning over Barron? Whatever the case, we are going to need to keep Rhett's ego in tact if this keeps up. These girls are making friends with Brooklyn to get the "in" with Rhett. He's being oh-so-cool about the whole thing of course. What I really hope comes from this is that Rhett can see himself through their eyes and have just a little bit more self-confidence. I think this particular show has definitely vaulted him to Rockstar status.

Tender Hearts

2011-10-15T21:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight we received an awful and disturbing picture message from one of our very good friends. They were driving back from Cali, where we had just been with them, and their Suburban towing their camper had overturned on the freeway. Their six kids were in the car when it flipped over. Luckily there were only minor injuries aside from their totaled vehicles. When we related to our kids what had happened to their friends, there responses were quite touching. One of the first things said after all the "are they Ok's" was "should we take them some cookies?" Then there was the request to say a family prayer in their behalf by my two littlest ones. Katy said the sweetest prayer for them. Then there were the comments on how sad they were that "I almost felt like I was going to cry" (Bo) and then he said "I want to make sure to remember my prayers before bed tonight so I won't have scary dreams about that." Of course, our hearts are heavy for all they have had to go through today but also so grateful they are on their way home without any serious injuries. I have only a slight inkling as to how frightening and traumatic that had to be for them. It's such a powerful reminder that anything can happen. Even to those close to us. I'm so glad that my children first wanted to turn to their Heavenly Father. I pray that they will remember that through the rest of their years, that He is where we find our comfort. I'm so grateful to have such amazing friends and that they are still with us today.

Bursting with Pride

2011-10-15T21:04:00.001-07:00

I know I'm not the only parent who has experienced this, but it's still a wonder. To watch your kids do something amazing, to excel, to put themselves out there.... it's such a wonderful and fulfilling feeling for a parent. Tonight my kids did a "flash mob" in front of the theater to promote the upcoming show of Camp Rock they are in. I haven't seen any of what they have been doing so it was all new to me. I sat in awe and on the brink of tears the whole time. First, because they could even do it. That they could get up there in front of people they didn't even know and put it out there like that made me so proud. Then, let me be honest here... they ROCK! I may be slightly prejudice, but really... they were so good! Little Rhett can move, he dances so well and looks so in his element up there. Whitley has come so far in her abilities. She just shines when she is performing and she also has figured out how to make everything work together when she moves. Then there's Stephen. He had so sing a whole song on his own while keeping up with the dancers. For a kid who isn't the most nimble of teenagers, he was so awesome! Then Rhett and Stephen and another boy all had a little solo part where they stand off against each other. My heart just swelled watching them. It was a moment when you wanted to stand up and yell "those are my kids!!" Then to add to it, I knew most of those kids personally either from church or from doing other shows and I was just so proud of all of them. I'm super excited to go see the show this weekend. Glade video'd them at the mall and maybe I can figure out how to get it on here. For now, I'm just enjoying the moment.

Be Careful What You Say

2011-10-05T14:20:00.000-07:00

I was laying with Katy the other day and she was protesting the "nap". I, of course, always win and she knows that. She got up into the bed and laid next to me but with her very pouty face. Then she proceeded to pull the sheet up and over her face. I decided to go for the old reverse psychology technique.. Good, now I don't have to look at that ugly face.. I said. She giggled and pulled the sheet down to which I cried.. Stop, No, Cover it up!. She giggled some more and we did this two or three more times when she stopped and said to me "Is that really true?"

We call her princess and tell her she is beautiful ALL the time. One day of a smart remark and all of a sudden she has a complex. How sad to me that that no matter how much we say something positive, the negative is heard so strongly. I assured her I was teasing and she melted right back on to my shoulder where I love the most, but I was sad. Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Lie.

On another quirky note: We were coming home from Sunday dinner when I had to remind a certain teenage girl not to wear a black bra with a white shirt. One of the younger kids asked why and I said it didn't look nice and now she looks a little like a hoochi mama. Of course they didn't know what that was so I explained that it was a girl who was not very modest and maybe wasn't very chaste. Bo pipes right up and says " I get chased all the time!" We all giggled and he says "No, really.. I do!" Oh the joy of innocence.

I want my Charity back

2011-10-04T12:44:00.001-07:00

I love to help, really I do. If I wasn't a mother of 9 I would probably belong to the Peace Corp. or Red Cross or something and travel around helping people when tragedy strikes. That's when I feel the best. Last week a family in our neighborhood had their home burn down. They have 8 children and pretty much lost everything. In my attempt to "save the world", I started gathering everything I could think of and then went to the store to buy them hygiene stuff and odds and ends that one might not think of. It feels really good to think you are saving someone. I was so excited to go offer my goods this morning and know that today they would be able to brush their teeth with brand new toothbrushes and dry off with new, clean towels.

When I showed up to help sort through all that had been donated and give of my own stuff, I was shocked to see the amount of things laying before me. Wow, people have really stepped up. They may have more things now than they did before the fire. Assuredly, they may not get to my deodorant before it expires. My new towels were thrown into a huge bin of other towels and the toilet paper with all the other many rolls. It should still feel good to know that we did what we could, but in all honesty... it didn't really feel good at all. I wished I could take it all back and do something else. Nothing I bought would truly make a difference for them. It may even make it worse, she could walk in.. take one look and say "what am I going to do with all this soap?".

I'm really not complaining, what a wonderful gift to this family to have had so many people reach out and give. The amount of clothing was surreal. But what I did decide is that I'm going to be the last one to donate in the future. See what got missed or forgotten and then fill that hole. I want my offering to be useful, not tossed in with the other 12 tubes of toothpaste. In the end, I know it will all get used and our time helping was probably more useful than anything we brought. It's refreshing to see there is still much good in the world.

Insight

2011-10-03T20:48:00.001-07:00

This weekend I came to realize many things. First, tomorrow is always another day. When this one is tough or you've made a mess of it, you can always start anew. Move on. I found out that you can't make people be dependable. And even when they're not, it's not usually the end of the world. Most things just work out. And if it doesn't, not the end of the world. You don't have to be everywhere. Saying no or staying home doesn't kill you or anyone else. Sometimes it might even save you. Mom's are the best. Especially mine. Not all teenagers are rotten, actually many are quite sweet and nice and very admirable. I have one. There's nothing like a sparkle. No matter what it's on. Sleep cures many things. God hears me. Old dogs can learn new tricks... or at least attempt them. I love you Glade♥. Sharing chocolate is better than eating it all yourself. My world is not the only one. You tend to love things more when you think they may not be yours anymore. Giving feels good. Relationships are work. Apple cinnamon pancakes are fabulous. All in a weekend.....

What I took from conference: I need to be a better scripture reader and go forward with faith that all things will be for my good. Know that the experiences and trials will make me who I need to be if I will trust and be faithful. I hope I am always wearing my best shoes and be ready and willing to rise up and get to work.

Did I say it was Fall?

2011-09-30T15:31:00.000-07:00

I think the phrase "going Postal" may need to be changed to "going Arizona". Every time I think we've finally arrived at a livable situation weatherwise it shoots right back up. Today is 105 and windy. So it's like having hot oven air blown right at you. I went out to run this morning before the sun was even up and it was already hot. The worst part about weather.... I can't control it!! Nothing, not a letter I can write, a sweet "with a cherry on top" supplication, a strike I can organize, a sheer invasion to take part in...nothing...just nothing. I think it's about this date on the calendar every year I break down and have a good cry over "I just can't take it anymore!!!" But I survive..every year...I do. But as a matter of record, I want it recorded that for the past 4 weeks or so the 10day forecast has had it being 80ish for the last three days of the forecast. Not once has it ever gotten there, but it's always on there. Maddening I tell ya.

This week Glee was better. I'm still totally in over my head, but at least my time spent felt a little productive. I finally called the bug guy after a year of procrastinating and that night Glade got stung by a scorpion. We think. He never saw it, may have been a spider but the symptoms were similar to a scorpion. Irony. Whitley is going to Homecoming tomorrow night. General Conference is this weekend. Brooklyn turned 12 today which I will make a separate post about. I got a pedicure and painted them orangish brown with a sparkly spider on my big toe. I never do that. I had a nice lunch with friends and spent the whole day without any kids. Chelsey left for Utah to go see Conference with her friends. Had parent/teacher conf. and the kids all did pretty well. Better than they have in a while. I have stuck to my Weight Watchers all week and didn't die. Actually, today was much easier. I didn't take one little bite out of Katy's very delish cookie. I know it's very delish because I've had many in my life. Wasn't even hardly tempted. I'm down 4 lbs since I got back from Cali. Still have 10 more to go but it's a slow process. Now to see if I can make it through the weekend!

Lastly, I love Katy. I know, I know. But everyday I realize how big she's getting and how much I just want to kiss her and squeeze her all the time. She's just adorable not on purpose. The things she says. Example: after a long morning of visiting teaching and playing at the park she was in the car moaning about being tired. She started to explain to me that when she's tired she feels like she's going to cry and when people are happy it makes her cry cuz she thinks they are mad and that's why she has her really low voice right now. Today at the store a really rude check out boy made the comment "little crybaby gets what she wants" because I bought her a second ringpop after hers crashed to the ground and shattered into a million pieces. Rude! She still snuggles with me every day and at some point, in her sleepy voice, she whispers "I love you Mama". I will miss her. (I asked if when she was 20 she would still snuggle with me and she said that would be weird)

It's Fall!

2011-09-26T15:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, so in name only. Sometimes I spend $3.95 on a magazine just so I can look through the pages and know what fall actually is. At my house it's still just summer, only you might not actually have triple digit temps a few days here and there. The nights are cooling off though, we can actually go running in the mornings without dying. When I say morning, I mean like before 7 am. In honor of "fall" I made potato soup last night for Sunday dinner. Ahhhh, how I love Bear Creek potato soup. I'm changing my blog background and I might even break out the Halloween decorations in the next few days!

Friday night we went out with some friends to see the movie Abduction. It was actually really good! Cheesy and unrealistic, yes ( aren't they all)... but I was seriously having to tell myself to not grip the arm rests. It wasn't scary, just intense. Of course I ate like half a bag of buttery popcorn while doing so. It was fun to be with friends and see a movie I actually enjoyed.

Saturday started early with Glee/Camp Rock practice until noon. I really hope some how this pulls together and makes for a good show. I'm wishing I hadn't volunteered, but I'm also trying to make the best of it. I got a tiny nap before I took Brooklyn and two of her friends to the Joe Jonas concert in Scottsdale. Pics and details to come. We left by 3:30 and got home around 11 pm. That's a long night! She had a great time though and it was totally worth it. While back at home, Glade took care of the kids in between baptizing a man who had decided to join the church and helping a friend do some yard work. He made them dinner and got everyone ready for church. What a gem!

Sunday I had a hard time rolling out thanks to two late nights in a row. Church went well and hopefully my lesson got through to my girls. In January, we had 3 laurels, yesterday there were 10. Growing and Growing! After church we had lunch, cleaned up, took naps and waited for cousins to arrive. I think my kids watched 3 straight hours of Backyardagins. Normally we don't watch TV on Sunday but I was so tired I gave in. I was able to watch Women's Conference that I missed the night before because of the concert. Elder Uchtdorf gives such wonderful talks, always uplifting. Then the cousins finally came and we had a small but delish Sunday dinner. Some time around mid-afternoon, I started sneezing and didn't stop the rest of the night. I even took 2 allergy pills and they just kept coming. It was miserable. Today I'm better, but still sneezing. Our weekends seem to just come and go so quickly because of play practice. One of these days we're going to have a productive Saturday and get our garden in and my house cleaned up. Someday...

Basal Cell Carcinoma

2011-09-23T08:38:00.001-07:00

Basal Cell Carcinoma - the most common kind of skin cancer affecting one million Americans every year. I am now one of those million. I've had a red spot on my cheek for a couple years now. At first I just thought it was a big zit that hadn't poked through yet. A few months later I realized it was still there and maybe it wasn't a zit. I didn't worry too much about it till recently when it would bleed occasionally. I really knew it was some type of skin cancer but because we don't have insurance, I didn't want to pay to take care of it. When it started to act up I decided to just bite the bullet and get it done. I went to my Mom's dermatologist, who by the way...looks like a vampire. I think my friend referred to him as the super hot vampire doctor. He is nice looking but in a sort of creepy vampire way. Anyway, they did a biopsy to confirm it and they scheduled me to have it removed.

Yesterday was the day. I wasn't nervous, but having something cut out of your face is never a good thing. The procedure was fine, but later it really started hurting. Today it's just mildly sore. It's nothing that spreads so I'm not worried about that, but it does mean I may likely get another as the years go on. Oh the joys of aging!!

Cali Trip - Just the Two of Us

2011-09-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

Our trip started very early in the morning, 4:30 actually. We flew into Oakland, got our rental car and got on our way. We were actually there to scout out convenient stores to see if it was do-able to start a bakery in that area so we spent most of the day in the car driving around. The plan was not for me to drive with him, but to shop or site see or just chill with a book, but we couldn't even check into our hotel until 3pm and Oakland was NOT somewhere I wanted to hang out alone. After a long day of driving around, we checked in, had a short nap and then decided to go for a run. It worked out really well that there was a paved path right outside our hotel that went on for miles. We did 4 miles that night. I was really tired and didn't feel like a night out so we got dinner and brought it back to the hotel. Our hotel was actually located in a little town called Walnut Creek. I'm so naming my town something like that when I get one!

Day 2 started with another run. The weather was really nice in the mornings, but got hot by afternoon. I ran my best 3 miler in a long time. This day I spent by myself shopping at a nearby center. It was nothing exciting, but it was fun to be outside and see different kinds of stores. I ended up at Ross, big shocker and got a few cute things including a big warm coat. Sometimes we go to cold places!! We usually only ate two meals.. our breakfast was free at the hotel (good ones too!) and then we would get an early dinner. So in between, we usually found a treat. This was my lucky day! A yogurt shop was featuring Thin Mint yogurt. I topped it with a light sprinkling of oreas and YUM! I also had my first experience on a bus, and what an experience that was! While waiting I got to chat with two lovely women who were both missing a few screws. The 76 year old said I definitely looked the same age as her, or least in my sixties and the other filled me in on how her husband used to beat her and how many relatives she has that went to college. Good times. I took the bus to the local BART station (their commuting service) and then walked the 3/4 of a mile back to the hotel.

After a brief nap and some freshening up, I trekked back to the BART station, but this time to get on the big train that would take me into San Fransisco. I did not enjoy that at all. It was a 50 minute trip and the train feels quite rickety and is LOUD. Once there, I waited on a corner till Glade came and found me. Then we tried to maneuver our way through the city on a Saturday night. It wasn't long before Glade was frustrated and just wanted out of the city. I told him I did not ride that stupid train for an hour to not be in the city! We finally found a parking garage and decided to find dinner. The meters up there only took quarters and it was $3 an hour. We put in what we had (15 min worth) and went in search of more quarters. After about 40 minutes of begging and buying packs of gum, we finally got enough. We ate pizza at a place called Amiccis. After, we walked around the block taking in the sites. That's one of my favorite things to do! Glade was a little done with all the people and crowds so we headed home.

The next day was Sunday and we were going to go to Sacramento to check out that area. We found a church in town and attended Sacrament meeting there. The people were very friendly and welcoming. We had lunch at Fudruckers, oh the chili cheese fries! and then went to see the Temple.

A nice lady took this one for us. Later we tried taking it with a self time and that was quite the experience.

There was a big grassy park next to the temple that had wild turkeys roaming around. Very strange.

This is the bathroom in the park. I prefer to call it a tender mercy. I'm pretty sure the chocolate muffin I thought I ate at breakfast may have actually been prune based. Yikes!

After visiting the Temple, we spent a couple of hours driving around. I was so done by this point. I knew it was part of the deal but we were now at about 5 hours in the car for that day. We finally got home and Glade, sensing my dissatisfaction, stopped by the yogurt shop for some Thin Mint yogurt. No go, they changed their flavors. We still got some and that was our dinner.

The next day was by far my favorite. We got up and ran again, this time 5 miles. I hadn't run that much since the last Ragnar, sad I know. It was a good run though. We then headed in to San Fransisco for an actual day of vacation. First we drove the bridge and walked around a cute little town called Saucalito.. I just love to say it! There we got some taffy for the kids and poked our heads in all the souvenir shops. I had to have some ice cream while here. (Is there a pattern here with having ice cream for a meal?) I got the most delish caramel, banana, chocolate chip ice cream in a chocolate dipped waffle cone. Truly heaven. We had reservations for Alcatraz soon so we went back over to get checked in. By this time it was actually hot. Seriously, like 90 degrees. Totally sucky. The visit to Alcatraz was super cool. They have you put on a headset and take a tour at your own leisure. You can stop it and start it whenever you want. We spent about 2 hours on the island before catching the boat back.

Riding the ferry over to the island.

While in Saucalito, this fog just came up out of nowhere and rolled over into the mountains. You could actually see it "rolling" over the peaks. The line at the top of the white fog is the Golden Gate Bridge. We actually had to drive right through it on our way back from Saucalito.

These are the showers at the prison. I think I'll obey all laws.

Every cell looks exactly the same.

This is me in "the hole". They said it was completely dark in there. One guy said to pass the time he would rip a button off his shirt, toss it in the air and let it drop. Then he would crawl around till he found it. Repeat. Can you even imagine?

I had a hard time getting a good picture because they had glass in front of the cell, but this is the cell the prisoners from Escape from Alcatraz were actually in. You can see the dug out vent back there and the head you see is the fake heads they made to make it look like someone was sleeping there.

It was obviously windy out there. This is the city behind us.

Once we got back we walked down to Pier 39. We decided to eat at Bubba Gump's just so we can say we did. It was super pricey, but a fun atmosphere. We even got a seat right next to the window.

After dinner we walked around the Pier a little more and got goodies for the kids. We then hiked up a hill about a mile away to the Ghirardelli store. The had a small display of how they make chocolate. It was seriously filled with old foreigners. On that note, I couldn't believe how many people were not from here. I would bump someone and say sorry and they would retort with something I couldn't understand. Crazy. Anyway, they greeted us with a free sample of pumpkin, caramel chocolate. It was so yummy!! We roamed around a little (it was so crowded) and then grabbed a few "souvenirs" and headed out.

The next day was pretty uneventful. We didn't run, Glade was really sore from the ginormous hill we climbed the previous day and I didn't want to have to do my hair again. We intended on actually going to the Oakland Temple to do work, but weren't able to make it in time. We were able to walk around the grounds though. It's really pretty and has a walk around the top of the temple. The temple is set high up over the city so the views are spectacular!

This was on the grounds up on top of the walk around the top.

This is a totally random picture, but it's something that has made my vacations just a fraction better. Leslie made me this "cover" out of a hotpad. It goes on top of my straightener so I can pack it even if it's still hot. So genius!!

After the temple, we set out for the airport and ended our trip with a fun flight home enjoying a Rachel Ray magazine together. I know that sounds funny, but it was really fun to read it together and the flight was over in no time! Back to life...Back to reality...

So Happy We Glow

2011-09-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

Today was such a great productive day. I was able to get so much done and keep a mostly positive attitude! I did all my groceries while Katy was in preschool. Safeway cheated me $3 of coupons they didn't ring up and I bought milk I thought was on sale. Crap. I still saved $22 in coupons so that's good. I got laundry done, cleaned the kitchen, even did a little paperwork. This morning I was out of the house before 6 am! I ran three miles and the weather was almost cool. The whole day was overcast so of course, that always puts me in a good mood. Once the kids got home from school I got my box of peaches canned with the help of two of my boys.

We had homemade pizza for dinner and then went for a walk. The weather was cool and breezy and everyone just wanted to be outside. I didn't agree to dinner outside, but we decided to go for a walk after. I remembered I had a pack of glow sticks in my closet so we all donned a few bracelets and headed out. It was full dark so all you could see is 11 forms with random glow circles walking down the street. The kids sang songs and acted silly the whole way. I'm sure they will remember the night they sang the Tuti Ta song while walking in the cool breeze. Simple and Spontaneous.

2001 and 10 years Later

2011-09-12T13:19:00.000-07:00

A lot of things happened in 2001. AND 10 years later things are still happening. First and foremost, THIS kid came to our family. Dalin is so funny and smart and sensitive, yes... he has his other moments, but for the most part he has been a joy to have in our family.

In 2001 the Arizona Diamondbacks won the World Series. I was pretty on top of my baseball knowledge back then. It was a very exciting year. This year is the 10th anniversary of that win so they made a big deal out of it. We went to the "memorial" game to witness all the fun for our selves. They brought back almost the entire team from that year! It was so fun to see them all. Wow, they looked old. I know, so do I. Ten years... that's not a short amount of time. The current team wore the old turquoise and purple uniforms, which I loved! ... for the game that night. I hate that they switched to red. Throughout the entire game, they played reruns of the highlights from the big game on the JumboTron. Really really fun to relive. The game that night turned into a very exciting one as well, extra innings and everything. It was truly a super fun night that I was in desperate need of. Go D-Backs!!

The attacks on the World Trade Center also happened that year, another ten year anniversary. I feel like every year should be just as sad as the next, but this year there was more hoopla going on. Rhett and Dalin both were able to participate in a memorial service at our local library. Rhett read a poem and Dalin sang with his 5th grade class. I wasn't happy to see them playing all the footage again on TV. I think living it once is plenty. Still, a nice day to remember.

Then there's this sweet dog. He celebrated his 10th birthday in July. We have had him for the last 8 of those years. Jack has not been well for a long time now. His hips got really bad, we're pretty sure he couldn't hear well anymore and if you've been to my house recently, you noticed he just poops wherever he happens to be. Usually that's right in front of my front door. Honestly, we've been praying for him to die so we wouldn't have to make that decision. Many who come visit us say we were mean to keep him alive and yet I just didn't have it in me to say "this is your last day". I was more than ready to be done with him, but still.. he's Jack. Glade pulled a dead tree out of our back yard on Saturday and decided to cease the opportunity. Without any of us knowing, he had him put down and buried him in the hole. It wasn't until the next day when the kids noticed he hadn't eaten his food and they couldn't find him that questions started to arise.

I didn't even know. Glade admitted what had happened and so we explained to the kids why it was OK and let them cry a little. As sad as it made me, it was the only way it was ever going to happen. I just didn't have the heart to do it. I know it's a good thing but it's still hard to have him gone. The kids wrote on sticks and cut out little hearts and put them over the hole. We will buy a new orange tree and plant it there and call it our "Jack tree". I would like to say he will be missed, but in reality he really just laid on the porch for hours on end. He was the perfect dog for me and I love him, I'm sorry we let you go on for so long.

Stop! I want off!

2011-09-09T08:41:00.000-07:00

I can't chew. Yes, my "mouth" is too full and I think I'm going to choke. That's what I felt like last night after I got home from our first Glee practice. I cried. What have I done?? Why am I so confident in my abilities? It was pure craziness. My voice hurt from yelling so much (100 kids to talk over) and they were whiny "do we HAVE to do those songs?" "why didn't I get into Camp Rock?" "I want to be in the other group."... I think I should have been content to be on the sidelines waving goodbye to my sweet children while someone else did the leading. I won't quit, but I'm very certain I won't ever volunteer again.

Now add into that trying to keep my household running, which gets harder with every passing year.. trying to organize a Ragnar team, trying to become a runner again, trying to stay on top of my coupons, trying to stay on top of the paperwork Glade keeps bringing, a big box of peaches waiting to be dealt with, a backyard sports club I offered to help with every Tuesday, attending a Stake Marriage Class every Tuesday (yes, the same time I volunteered to help with the sports) and wondering how I'm getting to five different places at the same time tomorrow and I definitely know why I can't fit into any of my pants. Hand over the cupcakes!

Not only haven't I blogged, I haven't even READ blogs. If I'm on the computer, I'm usually doing paperwork or searching YouTube for some help on choreographing all these numbers. Which still isn't done. I have laundry coming out my ears cuz I can't even bare the thought of it right now. My poor kids have been alone almost every night this week. Something has to give, but what?? I guess my self pity is going to have to be the thing to go. A commitment is a commitment and it's all temporary, right? I'll be done just in time to have a nice relaxing Christmas! (did I say relaxing and Christmas in the same sentence?) I know I can get it all done, it just feels really overwhelming right now. One day at a time!

The most beautiful part is that Glade is going out of town for business. Yes, it's beautiful cuz I get to go too!! Ahhh, Cali...I'll be there soon my beautiful Cali! 5 days of some serious "off duty" time. It will be very welcomed. Until then.. Must. Keep. Going.

Anything else??

2011-09-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

Last night we enjoyed an evening in with a few friends and some yummy pizza and ice cream. It was nice to not have to get dressed and go out, just chill. We didn't get to bed until about midnight once we finally got all the kids home and secure. On a side note, it's quite a nice feeling once everyone has returned and the house is locked up and you can go to sleep not worrying. Anyways, Glade's alarm went off at 5:30 like it always does and I groaned at the thought of 5.5 hours of sleep. BUT, once I wake up, it's hard to go back to sleep.

I checked the weather and it said it was only 79 outside so I decided I would go for a run. Mind you, it's like 6:45 by now. So I wrangled Glade into going with me and we went for a 2.5 mile run. Hot. It's really still hot at 80 with the sun shining on you. I started running faster than I had been running on the treadmill so I got tired faster, but made it a mile and a quarter before I took a break. By the time I finished, I felt like my head was going to explode, but I did it. And it felt good. Until about an hour later when my thighs started cramping.

To keep this from being 8 pages long, I will summarize the rest of my "seriously??" day :

-Wanted to run lots of errands, got detained by a screaming, door slamming 6 year old (25 minutes of in and out of the corner.)
-Decided I would only be a little late to pick kids up from play practice if I just ran in to Wal Mart quickly to pick up a few things. LABOR DAY WEEKEND. Nothing quick about it.
-Chose a line with 4 people in front of me. After standing in it for a decent amount of time and actually get to the counter, the guy tells me he's closed after the guy in front of me. Being the snot that I am, I made some rude comment, he offered to ring me up anyway, but I told him no thanks I'll go somewhere else!
-While in the line, I began to drool at the thought of a Subway sandwich right in front of me. No one in line, no one, not a single person. Until, I'm done checking out. Now I'm fourth in line and the people in the front have to think and pause between each item they want on their sandwich. Grrrrr. Now I'm really late!
-Got into the car to get the kids and pulled out onto the main road. Only a mile and a half to go. Woops....train. Wait, wait, wait, decide to eat the cookie I was going to give to the kids. Finally retrieve the children.

All day I had been thinking about what we could do as a family today. My lame brain decided on a movie, we would see Smurfs. Not everyone was thrilled with that, but luckily Captain America was playing at the same time. Perfect. Actually so was Apollo 18 and Glade thought that would even be better, so some of the big kids decide they'll go with dad. I'll summarize again:
-Purchased tickets at the kiosk, 2 for Captain America, 2 for Apollo and the rest for Smurfs....sold out. What?? Went ahead and purchased the 4 previous and checked with customer service about the Smurfs.
Bought the only 2 tickets left to Smurfs. Brooklyn and Katy, you're on your own. Guess the rest of us will see Captain America. 2 more teenagers change to Apollo, fine...just need 2 for Captain America....sold out. Back to Customer Service. I can buy one ticket. Ok....guess the three middle boys are on their own for Captain America and I'm stuck seeing the scary movie that I never wanted to see.

By this time, all the movies have already started and we are all still trying to get popcorn and soda. I'm freaking out because the littlest kids have no big kids with them. Whitley keeps shoving my soda at me, saying "here, here". Gaaaaaa...just hang on! I seriously looked like a monster mom and was having heart palpitations the whole time. Nice family outing.

The Movie - this was a movie that pretty much just wanted to make you jump. It was only scary in that way along with being a little creepy just in the fact that astronauts are being attacked by unknown objects. After one particularly good "jump", Whitley leans over and says she doesn't think she can take anymore, Stephen leans in and says he's shaking and Nick now has a leg cramp from jumping so hard. Stephen and Whitley decide on a time out and go for a walk. Nick jumps right up and moves to the seat right next to me. After the other two return, Whitley says she feels like she's going to puke and is leaving. She snuck into Smurfs and enjoyed the rest of that. What a bunch of Ninny's. Again, nice family outing.

Now we're home and have had dinner and everyone is recuperated from the movies. The boys only have one more request... haircuts. Oh joy, my very favorite thing. Well, at least they can go back to school looking sharp and having a good tale to tell when the teacher says "what did you do over the weekend?"

Brunch

2011-09-03T10:17:00.000-07:00

Katy had her first experience with Brunch this week. I had determined to stay home Friday and get some work done. I was well on my way to that when at 8:30 mom called and said she was starving and wanted to know if Katy and I wanted to go meet her for brunch in an hour. Me always being the one to please, tossed my responsibilities aside and went. I explained to Katy what brunch was and went on our way. When we pulled into Village Inn, she squeels "we've been here before!" I had taken the girls there for breakfast one Saturday. She then very seriously tells me that this is her very favorite place for brunch. Then in the bathroom, she again says "you know this really is my favorite place for brunch." When I asked her why, she says in her "duh" voice "you know that I love sausage!!" We had a very enjoyable time and she did very well at sitting and not complaining while she ate her smiley pancakes. Thanks mom!

(I wish I thought about my camera more often. Gonna have to dust it off.)

So Brave

2011-09-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I know this isn't exactly brave, BUT....I decided to hide a couple of people on FB. I know!! How will they ever know? They won't...I hope. Actually, I barely even know either one, but they were killing me! Seriously, how many times a day can you post, and the same thing? One was so bad with the whining that it was almost like a train wreck that you couldn't take your eyes off. I hesitated because what if I missed something good? Oh wait, it was never good and I would actually think (on my own time) about her screwed up life and why she was doing it all wrong. Whew, well it's done and I'm proud of myself. Hey, minor victories here.

We got our Ragnar team! Now I just need to get my enlarged rear end up and running. I wish I had some motivation. Maybe, just maybe it just the heat. I think 2 solid weeks and more to come of excessive heat warnings is about doing me in. I barely want to put clothes on or shower or leave my house. I just looked at the 10 day and until next Thursday it still just reads 111 across the board. Oy! Even the nights are staying in the high 80s and low 90s. Totally sucks.

Today I went to exercise against my own will. I fight with myself often. Luckily it's always ME who wins. I didn't give 100% but at least it was something. After, I went to lunch with a couple of my good friends. Now that's something I can give 100% to! It was really great to just sit and chat. Except for the freezing temps in there. I was actually shivering and with goosebumps most of the time. Did I just complain about it being freezing and excessively hot in the same paragraph? Nope...different paragraphs..whew!

I'm getting old. I've been killing myself with this choreography thing. Yesterday I banged out another song, yeah me! However, I threw in a few headrolls and now my neck is seriously sore. Yes, my kids thought that funny that after a few times I left them out of the dance cuz it was killing me. I'll still have the girls do it, but I'm too old. Gotta get some more dancing done, our first practice is in one week. I'm so excited to just get this show on the road, literally.

It's the Next Day!

2011-08-31T12:28:00.002-07:00

Lookie me, two days in a row! Now, what has happened since yesterday?? I was having a mostly good day until my children got home. I know...that's awful. BUT, it's because I can't handle everyone's drama all at the same time. I mean, there's only one of me! Mom, I need to get my new glasses. Mom, you never got me a physical so I can't play softball. (you never told me you needed one) Mom, I got my progress report and my grades are terrible. Mom, I hate what you're making for dinner. Mom, he's hogging the computer. Mom, I need the car but she's got it. Mom, you promised rubber pancakes for dinner. Mom, I need $2, what chore can I do? Need I go on???

I was in serious need of a time out. So I took one, sort of. I ordered up a fend for yourself dinner (ha!) and took Dalin to his new sports group, which I love!! I had an idea for a neighborhood little league, but someone else beat me to it. For $17 two of my boys get to go to the park once a week for 3 months and play "organized" sports. They will rotate sports every month. It's awsome!! It was too hot yesterday though, excessive heat warning again. But after that is when the time out occurred. Dalin and I tripped off to Costco. I really did need to go, but I made no hurry of it. Just him and I sauntering around Costco with a cup of ice cream. Ahhhh, just what I needed. I know most people hate that holiday stuff is out and it's only August but I love it. It gives me something to hold on to while I try to survive this dreaded desert. I don't know what went on while I was gone, but I came home to a clean kitchen and kids cheerfully kissing me goodnight. That..I can do!

Still Nothing

2011-08-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

Why is blogging so hard for me lately? Seriously...I'm not a woman of few words! Normally I would go through my day thinking "I've got to put that on my blog.", but now...nothing. I hardly ever think that. Is my life that dull? Has my life always been that dull but I thought it was exciting? I have no idea.

I'm seriously struggling to get my musical numbers choreographed for Glee. Another brain block...maybe I should see a pattern here. I have picked my songs and am excited to get started but first I have to figure out what to teach them. It's been very frustrating.

Yesterday we went to the pool for awhile and it was one of the better days we've gone. No friends were there so it was just us. My kids played so nice together. Like they were friends. For a long time! I had to be the one to say "lets go home". It was very sweet to see as the mother. I was glad no one was able to come with us.

I have gone full swing into couponing. I always love to get things for free. It takes work and some time but I obviously have enough of that so why not? It's fun to see my shelves start to be full again, even if it's with boxes of brownies. Ü

I didn't run a single time last week. Nope, not once...didn't want to. Today I actually got all dressed out to go run in the heat. Yep, I'm doing it! I got out on the sidewalk, did a few stretches and went right back into the house. Hello treadmill.

My Bunko group is falling apart and it makes me sad. We have been doing this for 13 years and it's been a bright spot for me. Lately it just hasn't been the same. I know the seasons change and the winds blow, but it still sucks. We have pretty much turned into every other Bunko group. All the things that made us different are now gone. I'm hoping it's just a phase.

I'm going to try to blog every day this week. Even if it's something little, just to get back in the habit. Maybe my life is more exciting than I think, I'm just not remembering.

Of No Real Importance

2011-08-22T20:52:00.001-07:00

I have had a hard time blogging lately. Yes, I'm kinda busy, but more than that...I'm struggling with trivial. There's so much going on with the people around me and people I love that it always seems weird to get on and blah blah about my ho-hum day. I know that my life is my life regardless of the trials of others, but it's just been hard to get myself to do it. Glade is really struggling with work and his family and his calling. He's feeling a lot of responsibility that is both uncomfortable and sometimes burdensome for him. Unfortunately I can't really help him so it's a strange place to be in. I keep reminding him to "find joy in the journey ", not to let the daily simple things go unnoticed and unenjoyed because of the other pressures in life. I know that's easier said than done, but it's possible. With that in mind, this is just a little of what's been going on around here this last week:

-Dalin started orchestra, playing the viola
-Kids had their first play practice, so fun!
-We had stake conference, loved it.
-Chelsey ended up getting almost $3000 in grants after all, what a blessing
-The heat is oppressive and I can hardly take anymore
-I ran 3x last week (treadmill)
-For Mutual, we did speed dating, Whitley got asked out by the nerdiest kid there
-Whitley brought home a "baby" for her homework assignment. It's electronic and knew if she was the one taking care of it or not. She was docked points electronically if she let the head fall or didn't attend to it when needed. It was a lot of work!
-I canned a few peaches
-Got started couponing again and remembered how fun it is to get things for free
-Speaking of free, cutest bracelet ever! (JCP coupon for $10 off $10)
-Really loving and appreciating my family

The Rest of the Week

2011-08-14T21:06:00.000-07:00

It really was a crazy busy week with everything that happened around here. Even with all my kids in school but Katy, I didn't get a chance to just stay at home and chill or clean or anything. That's really ok because when I was home, I just wanted to enjoy the quiet! I have stuck to my no technology rule the entire week, yeah me!! I have to admit I was ready to throw in the towel a time or two but I decided I just had to be strong. They are having a difficult time finding things to do that aren't wrestling, torturing, aggravating or just plain being annoying to everyone around them. I have assigned chores a few times and it's really noisy and chaotic, but I knew that was part of the deal. I knew I was giving up easy.

Saturday was one of the busiest I've had in a really long time. I had so much I wanted to do. I got up and ran 3.5 miles. Ok, I ran 2.5 and walked 1, but that's the best I've done in a really long time! Then I got the kids working on Saturday chores, came in and worked on paperwork for an hour, showered and then went to work some magic in the girls room. Since we needed to get Chelsey in there, I told them if they would get it clean, I would clean it. They worked hard and then so did I. I put on the rubber gloves, held my breath and went to town in their bathroom. Yikes! We had a short lunch break and then went back in for round 2. After working up a sweat in there, I laid down with Katy for an hour. I still had much to do so I got up and took Whitley to Goodwill to look for a few things they needed in their room. Found them!! Amazing..and on 1/2 off Saturday.

Got home just in time to get Nick and head to his eye appointment. $230 later he has new lenses and we were shopping for Sunday dinner items. Got home just in time to clean up and head out on our date! It started off small but ended up with 5 couples. I love my friends!! After talking up Ragnar, it made me really anxious to run again. Unfortunately I'm stuck with treadmill running for at least another month. Sucks. Anyway, it was a really long but productive day.

Today we made it to church on time and I had to teach the lesson. I never am comfortable teaching but I think it went ok. I had M&Ms, doesn't that make every lesson ok? After, we had lunch, did some laundry and then went for Stephen's patriarchal blessing. What a great kid he is. Always such a spiritual experience. Ended the day with a full house for Sunday dinner. Chelsey has put on her happy face, the kids are ready for a new week of school and I'm ready for some kind of normalcy. *knocking on wood*

She's Staying

2011-08-14T16:36:00.000-07:00

This summer has been a roller coaster of emotions for my oldest. She has been waiting and waiting and waiting to see if she was getting any financial aid this semester. The news finally came and it wasn't good. Nothing, nada, nill....not a dime. So, she stays here and does classes online for the time being. Sounds simple, right?

Tell that to an emotional 19 year old who can't imagine having to live at home after a year of free wheeling. The tears were many and the concerns were even more. I tried to help her see the positive, but she wanted none of it. I gave her till Monday to mourn her loss. Without airing all her dirty laundry, I do have to tell a few of the things that are bothering her about being jailed up in this house. She can hardly stand all the noise and people (she would have 10 -15 people at a time in her 700 sq. ft apt.), she's so much cleaner than the rest of us (when she lived here, she was a PIG), and her organizational skill are far superior so when people need pens, they will naturally come steal hers. Not to mention play on her "swirly" chair! Can you even imagine such horror?? Ok, I'm done teasing her. I think she'd be willing to admit she can be a bit dramatic and irrational at times. By the end of the day, she had gotten all her classes switched, made a few phone calls and even applied on line for a job. She's great at pulling it all back together.

This weekend she went back to Flagstaff to retrieve her stuff and officially set up shop here. She is way excited to not be in limbo and be able to plan her days more accurately now. We cleaned out the upstairs bedroom, moved her in and even found her a little "office space" she can work in. I think she's come around and is starting to see the good that can come if she keeps her head clear and her heart open. She really is an amazing girl! I'm glad she's here.

First Day of School

2011-08-14T16:26:00.000-07:00

The littler kids finally started school this week. Let me tell ya, they were ready!! The day before, we went to meet the teacher day and everyone was overjoyed to be back at school. After meeting all the teachers, we went to buy school supplies and that was quite the experience. Normally I don't take them with me, but today I decided I would. So did everyone else. The place was crazy. Because the school supplies were right next to the toys, I let the little ones go look at toys (in groups) while I got their stuff. Soon I hear "Laurie, your party is at the jewelry counter" over the loud speaker. Surely this wasn't me, but I sent Chelsey to check. Yup, Dalin had taken Bo to the bathroom and decided he was tired of waiting so he left him there. When he couldn't find his way back, he sat by a rack and cried. Some nice lady helped him to the jewelry counter where we picked him up. Very heartbreaking. And maddening.

They were up bright and early the first day, ready to go! Bo was so happy to be going ALL day and pack a lunch. Big stuff. They all came home with good reports of liking their teachers and having old friends to be with. It was a good day for everyone.

Bo lost a tooth!

2011-08-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

Bo has had a loose tooth for over a month now. We have tried to pull it unsuccessfully a couple of times and he was getting tired of letting me try. While at Sunday dinner, his cousin Kamry (who's Katy's age) showed him that she had lost her second tooth. His reply, "no fair!!". When we got home, we tried to pull it one more time. He was yelping and wiggling while I tried to get a good hold on it. Finally I got it out so I took my hand out of his mouth and said "fine, I'll stop." He settled down, got a weird look on his face and yells "it's gone!". He didn't even notice that I had pulled it. Then he says "that didn't hurt at all!" Really? What was all the yelping about?

He was so excited he could hardly contain himself. He decided to text Grandma Green who was away visiting in Illinois. He did all the texting himself spelling everything correctly and then asks "where's the explanation mark?". I showed him where the "exclamation" mark was and put one there for him and he proceeds to tell me to add a couple more. He was quite anxious to go to bed this night and wake up a dollar richer. In telling his story to all the people he called the next day he always add "it's very exciting!". That it was.

Camp Rock

2011-08-11T14:41:00.000-07:00

This guy is the awesome, IT guy of Camp Rock's opposing Camp Star. Guess who's playing him in our community theater's performance of Camp Rock? Yep....Stephen!! Can't you just see it? I know you may be giggling, but really...Stephen has "inner funk", that's what the director keeps saying. He was a shoe-in for the part because of his gansta moves on the dance floor. I can't wait to see him in action!

Whitley was cast as a Camp Star dancer. She was a little disappointed. She was really hoping for a big part seeing as this may be the last show she is able to do, but it just didn't happen for her. There were very few girl parts and LOTS of talented girls vying for them. She'll have tons of fun backing Stephen up as one of his posse!

Rhett also got cast as a slick dancing chocolate boy. He was way excited to get the part of Barron, a hip and oh so cool break dancing kid. He totally fits the part (other than the black part Ü), he will shine.

Brooklyn and Dalin are pretty young to get much in this show, but they are both Jr. Campers at Camp Rock. They will have so much fun just getting to be a part of it and dance to all the fun music.

I'm so jealous though, I would totally love to be a dancer in this kind of performance! How come they can't do a show for middle-aged, fluffy people to get down to?? Maybe someday when I rule the world....

Auditions

2011-08-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

For the past 4 days (excluding Sunday) I have spent all my time at the performing arts center watching over 200 kids audition for Camp Rock. What an experience!! The one thing I have to say is that I'm so glad I'm not Molly, the director. My brain is fried and I really have no actual say in any of it! There are a lot of seriously talented kids out there!! Last night was call-backs. It's very emotional to watch kids dreams get dashed and they don't even know it yet. As each group would perform and their names crossed off the list...they would happily trot out of the room so excited. Ugghh! Anyway, I was so happy to have had the experience of watching that whole process unfold and see how choices are made. Now those poor kids have to wait 2 days to find out their fate, oh pain!

Katy Goes to Preschool

2011-08-04T15:29:00.001-07:00

Katy had her first day of preschool this week. I went back and read about Bo's first day when I had to drag her out screaming about how she wanted to stay and now it's finally her turn. She is attending the same preschool that Bo did with Miss Whitney. She had a great first day! She was up and dressed with shoes on and backpack on by 6:15 am. She was sorely disappointed when I told her she had 3 more hours. She was also dressed in a quite humorous choice of outfits. Luckily she didn't give me too much trouble about changing into something different. She even let me braid her hair!! She's going to have a fabulous year!

I'm giving up Easy Parenting

2011-08-02T12:07:00.001-07:00

Yesterday it hit me with full force that I'm raising a lazy and idle group of people. AND it's mostly my fault! I was bombarded several times yesterday as to why I was right on target with this new found revelation. It made for some serious reflection on my part and a commitment to give up the "easy" way of parenting. MY life is easier when I allow my kids to veg in front of the TV or play Wii for too many hours or spend their whole afternoon on FB. I'm totally off the hook! I can go read and not worry about what anyone is doing. Of course, I only result to that on a very occasional basis...you know...when it's been a long day or I just really need to get something done or my book is getting really good. What I realized is that those times were coming more and more frequently now. Chores were being left undone, bedrooms are unbearably dirty, the slightest suggestions that they do something else brings moans and protests and all around a grouchy and unproductive bunch of lumps.

I'm newly committed to having very limited "screen" time even if it kills me. There will be more "work" around the house, more reading, more scouting, more family and outside activity time. This takes the "easy" out of parenting because it requires me to always be on top of it. Not just accept when they say they've put their laundry away, but go check and then drag them from whatever they are doing to finish it correctly. As the mom I always want my kids to be comfortable. Watching them struggle or miss out on things is difficult for me. I have given them fair warning that that mom has left the building. They will be dragged out of bed at 11pm if the garbage didn't get taken out...they will be brought home from a friend's if their laundry got left on the bed. Hopefully it will not take long before they just start stepping up and becoming responsible and productive.

The new boundaries are that there will be no computer, Wii or TV until after dinner. And that is also dependent on how the afternoon went. I'm truly hoping we can all handle the withdrawals of our technology based existence and become a more family based one. I still dream back to those 4 blissful days in Cali when we had nothing but each other. I know it's possible, I just have to make it happen. Wish me luck!!

Romantic at Heart

2011-07-30T17:46:00.000-07:00

Not that this is new news, but I've always had a little love for the farm life, pioneer life even. The songs about front porches and fields being plowed have always put me in a wistful state. A little funny since I don't particularly enjoy being outside or doing things the hard way. But, it does stir me. I always get a little crazier when I read the Work and the Glory books as well (which I currently am). Today as I walked through my yard, I had a great sense of gratitude for my "land". It's only an acre, hardly "land"... but it's mine. No fences, except for the chicken coop, no street lights, lots of green (for AZ), not much traffic... Glade and the boys are out filling in the garden with new dirt so we can start planting here in a week or so. A small storm blew in and cooled things off a smidge, just enough for it to be tolerable outside. The chickens were out and about pecking away. Kids bikes lay strewn about in the driveway. Katy perched atop a small tractor watching her dad and brothers shoveling away. Not to mention clouds just seem to make everything look prettier. It's nice to enjoy where you are!

Fun Times

2011-07-28T07:58:00.001-07:00

It's the little things. I spent yesterday shopping with my Mom and Chelsey, which is always fun! We had lunch together and went to Kirklands. Shortly after getting home, I had to go register the rest of my kids for school. This is a very exciting day!! What classes, who's my teacher, do any of my friends have the same?? While there, I also got their AIMS results. Now, I really hate the AIMS test. I hate that they take time out to make them practice it. Either they know the stuff or they don't. Anyway, to my great surprise, Dalin exceeded all three areas. All three!! He did amazing. His grades are not that great, not bad (except spelling), but not great either... so I was a little surprised.

When dinner time came around, I had to keep my vow of having dinner made every night so I whipped up some spaghetti. Gourmet, I know! Three of the kids were playing outside on the tramp in the water so I served theirs up on paper plates outside. Two others were heading out the door to play basketball so they got to eat theirs on the fly. The rest of us sat at the table like the cozy family that we are. Because there were so few of us, we started talking about how it would be if we only had 4 kids. I could quote lots of our funny conversation, but it wouldn't be funny to anyone now. For us... we giggled and giggled and I'm pretty sure we came mighty close to having milk shoot out someone's nose. We have an ongoing joke about who is my "favorite" so that played heavily into our conversations as well.

After dinner one of my kids offered to scratch my back with this little claw thing in exchange for more computer time. Sold! Minute for minute. That started a whole scope of pampering. Another lined up to take a turn with the claw and one said she'd rather rub my feet with lotion. Ok!! Once she got started, another wanted to join in so she did my hands and legs. Once that got started yet again another wanted to polish my toes. So I ended up with a scratched back, soft rubbed feet and hands and cute toes all for a few minutes on a computer. That's the life!!

I'm not the most fun mom and I'm not the down and dirty play with 'em all the time kind of girl either, but it's nice to have a totally spontaneous good laugh with them now and again. How could I possibly choose a favorite out of a bunch like mine?!

You Just Never Know

2011-07-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was supposed to start off with me staying home all morning making breakfast burritos to freeze since my big kids are back in school now. Instead, I went on a shopping spree with Mom and Chelsey. I really needed a Bunko gift!! I really love going to Kirklands, just the smell as you walk in... It's completely involuntary, but you just have to stop your first step in and take it all in. Ahhhh! However, going there really makes me want to redo my house. I'm not going to but, oh how fun that would be!! Chelsey has been looking for something to put over her couch in her apartment in Flagstaff, but most things that big are really expensive.

We found this collage frame for $20 while we were there. We decided to make cute things to put in most of the frames that would match her color scheme and then use actual pictures for a few of them. When we got home, we dug out old scrapbook paper and any craft stuff I had laying around (which isn't much) and see what we could put together. You can't see in the pictures, but almost every one has some kind of gem or sparkle to it. It's subtle, not gaudy. I think it turned out super cute!!

On a different note, while driving home, she and I had a much needed but painful talk about her upcoming school situation. As to keep her life her own I won't go into detail, but I'll just say that she needs to make some hard decisions about where she's going to be and how she's going to make it all work out. There were a lot of tears shed, but it needed to be discussed and hopefully she will make decisions that are good and not fun. Sometimes they end up being both!!

Later that night we watched Pearl Harbor together in the living room. I love that movie and I think she did too. I wouldn't say today was anything super special or exciting, but this is what she posted on FB after she went to her room:

Chelsey Smith: Had a really good day :) Thanks to my momma, some scrapbook paper, and a movie! even the worst days could be turned around with a combination like that.

Ya just never know when a moment can be important.

I Guess I'm Lucky

2011-07-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

In talking to a friend tonight, I realized... maybe I'm just lucky. We were discussing life and kids and what not and the topic of "cruises" came up. You know that's one of my very favorite things! Anyway, she just got off one so we were talking about the things they did. She was surprised to hear some of the things Glade and I did together. She said "he'd do that with you?" Then asked "so you guys like to hang out together?" I found it odd that she thought we were odd for liking to play together. I know everyone's relationships are made up of different things, ours is not perfect by any means, but I'm just glad we like each other. I'm not at all worried about "empty nest" for us. If we can survive parenting, we're home free! Playing is what we do best together. We certainly have our differences, but in the end.... he's the one I like to be with.

Just Life

2011-07-25T09:20:00.000-07:00

It's weird that I feel like I have nothing to blog about and yet I'm so busy all the time. I'm going to go with it's all pretty blah blah stuff not really worth mentioning. So let me think.... in the last few days... Brooklyn had her day camp and ended up with $50 in her pocket. She came to realize that entertaining 3 and 4 year olds isn't as easy as one might think! We have taken care of pets for two families that live nearby. That also included a two hour roundup of a very evasive dog who doesn't like hot dogs. Seriously, what dog doesn't eat hot dogs?? We went to the pool several times. I completely cleaned out and organized my office and the pantry. Got my computer back so I now have two working computers in our house. Had lunch with one of Glade's YM from our last ward, Jeff Nielson, who is 23 now. I still like him!

The boys have been earning money working at the bakery and for a neighbor doing yard work. Put the kids to work on Saturday cleaning outside stuff. Our grass is so green! The rain and a few times of irrigation have done wonders. Had a great lunch with mom and then went out with Glade that night to the very same restaurant (he didn't know that's where I had gone for lunch. Ü). Great day at church and Sunday dinner. Made a very delicious pineapple upside down cake. I believe Glade said this after eating almost a quarter of the cake before dinner "I've been missing out on that my whole life?" I'm pretty sure that was a compliment. Took the kids to the park at 7 am after Katy sweet talked me into it. Yes, she's spoiled. Three big kids started school today. Stepped on the scale and realized I really need to get on it! Starting to have to wear my stretchy pants.

This week is Bunko at my house and then a party at the park on Friday. Going to try to get back into a good routine now that the kids have started school again. So I better get thinking... What's for dinner?

Goin Back...

2011-07-22T14:51:00.000-07:00

It's official, it's the last weekend before my big kids go back to school. They start Monday and boy are they ready. I bought my last pair of new shoes today (size 9 for my 11 year old!) and everyone has new backpacks and most of everything else they need. It's nice when they are older because they don't grow out of everything from year to year. This has been an expensive year for back to school stuff though, I'm ready to hit recovery mode. My younger ones don't start until August 10 and Katy starts preschool Aug. 1st. Every time we pass Rhett's school, he looks out the window and says "man I really need to be there!". I love that my kids don't dread school. Even the ones that struggle a little would rather be there than wasting the time away at home. Even Chelsey is chomping at the bit to get back to a schedule and some purpose in life. Whitley is a senior this year and it's freaking her out a little. Me too, actually. Bo goes all day which he is so excited for. Lunch at school!! And Rhett and Brooklyn are in JH. Aren't I still only 20? Chelsey likes to remind me I'm not. On with another year of forward progression! (crossing fingers)

Patience is a Virtue

2011-07-19T16:55:00.002-07:00

I'm having visions and it's giving me anxiety! After having the first real nap I've had since the kids have been out of school (Whitley took everyone to the pool so it was SO quiet), I got up and started puttering around. While putting some groceries away I started seeing myself organizing different things, canning apples, snuggling on the porch swing in a blanket, running...ahhh...running, serving hot, complete meals, kissing good smelling heads goodnight, gushing over my coupon savings, watching the cold rain... oh the life I would so love to have right now. But it's not yet meant to be. I'm sure I feel just like the kids do on Christmas Eve day, just get here already!! I can't possibly wait one more minute!! But the clock ticks on. The heat engulfs. The thoughts tantalize. So, in my quiet moment of "I just want to do something!", I sat my butt on the couch and began to watch an episode of Friends. I haven't seen that in years! I guess this was an Ok way to waste away the time. Oh wait... the kids are home. The noise has returned and the TV is switched back to channel 8. My sublime moment of fantasy has ended. I guess I'll check the freezer to see what's for dinner.

I think I'm Good

2011-07-17T16:14:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in awhile because all that would have come out were emotions. After the accident on the 4th of July, I've had a really hard time getting myself together. I would be fine for a few days and then in tears the next. I'm pretty sure that not a day went by that I didn't tear up/cry for at least a week. It was really hard to make sense of and a little embarrassing to be so not in control. Finally people have stopped asking how I'm doing, that's good cuz every time they did.. I would cry. I went to the temple last Wednesday and have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to come to terms with all of it and I think I'm finally past it. Today I woke up and had the thought - "I don't remember thinking about the accident yesterday." It feels good to finally be able to go though the day without it being in the forefront of my brain. It's been a different kind of experience that's difficult to explain and one I never want to repeat.

With that being said, this is what DID happen last week:
- lunch with Leslie
- Charity Car Wash for a family in our ward
- Temple night, went to dinner/ice cream with several couples after. FUN!
- Chelsey's 19th bday, lunch and shopping
- Dad's bday
- lots of school shopping
- summer movies, hadn't seen Shrek 4 before
- 3 trips to the pool
- lunch with Mom
- 3 mornings of exercise
- got my blog books in the mail
- night out with the Garrs
- GoodWill's 50% sale ($2.50 jeans)
- impromptu night in with 9 other couples

My big kids start school a week from tomorrow and the others 2 weeks after that. Wow, summer was a breeze this year. Now, I still have 3 more weeks, maybe I shouldn't jinx myself just yet! Everyone is very anxious to get going and get back to friends and routine and not being so idle all day. Katy will start preschool and is SO excited to do that and I'm excited to have 2 mornings a week to coupon shop without the distractions of little ones. AND to top it all off... I bought my first Christmas present. It IS July ya know!

Home

2011-07-09T16:31:00.000-07:00

Home has been on my mind a lot lately. At the scene of the car accident Monday, Katelyn jumped into my arms sobbing "I want to go home! I want to go home!" It was heartbreaking. Since that time I've done a little reflecting on why she chose home. She could have said she wanted to get out of there or go to the park where we were headed for the picnic, but she said home. As I've spent time here this week, I've seen our home in a different light. It's been a little hard to leave. I watch my kids doing their different activities around the house and it warms my heart. Our home is comfortable and of course I love it, I designed it. But that's not really it. Within it's walls all sorts of wonderful, emotional, funny, scary... I could go on and on about the different things that happen here. It's where we are. Does that make sense? Within these walls we are a family. It's where we are together and where there's not the world. It's just us. It's safe and familiar and ours.

This is our house...

This makes it our home. Of course that's where Katy would want to be.

Cow Appreciation Day 2011

2011-07-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

It has become tradition to dress up as cows and get free lunch at Chick Fil A once a year for Cow Appreciation Day. This year to mix it up a little, we all chose a "character".

Katy as "Princess Cow"

Bo as "Ninja Cow"

Nick as "Gangsta Cow". You can't tell, but he has tinfoil for teeth.

Brooklyn as "Rainbow Cow". They almost weren't going to give her a meal since she had colored spots. Lame.

Whitley as "Arnold Cow-inagor"

Stephen as "Dead Cow"

Rhett as "Harry Utter"

Dalin as "CowMan". The underwear were totally his idea.

Me as "Homemaker Cow"

Chelsey as "Sparkly Cow"

The Smith Family Cows

Camping on the Beach 2011

2011-07-07T21:32:00.000-07:00

We went to San Diego to camp on the beach a month or so ago and it was AMAZING. The weather was near perfect, the kids did great, I got to run every morning... The list goes on. We had to move spots every night and that was a pain, but totally worth it. The pictures are all in some weird order, but for the most part, we just had fun together, played together, and had a wonderful family vacation. I really did not want to come home. For 4 days we didn't think about FaceBook or check email or watch TV. Seriously one of my favorite vacations.

There was room for the kids to scooter and scooter they did...a lot! We didn't find out till the last day that wearing a helmet was the law in CA. Stupid.

This picture is worth a story. These were our first neighbors. The hippy-mobile. Not only does it look like one, they were. There were about 8 kids in total with serious nature/type names. I had written them down so I wouldn't forget and I lost the paper. Anyway, the kids were in the tree and crazy all over the place. The next day I saw one peeing from the top of the tree, pants around his knees. Nice.

Glade bought a skim board for the kids to try. Nick got the hang of it pretty good, but Rhett totally rocked it. No one else could even stay on it. We have a billion pictures of them trying but I only posted the wipeout fun ones!

Brooklyn and Stephen are my two that fight the most, but get them in the water and they are two of a kind.

Chelsey's wipeout

Why is it that all my vacations lately involve so many of these??

Brooklyn giving the skim board a try

They are all laughing because right behind me Glade was trying to skim board

Another one of Chelsey

This was the scene at our camp in the evenings.

Are we talented or what?!

Glade giving it a try.

Bo took his fishing pole and spent some time trying to catch a whale.

Whitley on her tush.

They were all good sports in helping out with the chores. Funny story about Nick. The big boys slept outside on airmattresses. The camp has tons of squirrels that feast on anything you may leave out. He woke up to a little squirrel curled up in a ball sleeping on his legs. He didn't think it was so cute.

Glade spent the majority of his time doing work. I guess that's the beauty of technology. I would complain, but it's this that made it possible for him to be with us at all.

Some other memories of our trip:

-laughing around the campfire
-teaching the kids how to play euchre
-getting milkshakes at the Jack in the Box across the street
-watching the kids pull our trailer down the street to switch spots
-having everyone turn and look as all the kids sang a popular song as we walked back to our spot
-being able to just wander across the path and stare at the ocean at sunset
-watching my kids BE for four glorious days

Camping 2011

2011-07-07T20:54:00.000-07:00

Fourth of July was on a Monday this year so it made for a perfect camping weekend. We went to a place called Kinder Crossing Trail up on the rim. In total, we had 9 families with us. The area was really dry and the days were still pretty hot in the beginning. The first day we got there around 1pm and had just enough time to set up camp and get dinner ready. The next two days a monsoon storm had built and we got rain both afternoons. It was wonderful!! It cooled right off and settled the dust and made for perfect chicken noodle soup weather. The second day it rained clear into the night.

Glade bought himself a new toy and spent more than a little while "grunting" over its manly-ness

We had several teenagers and they all played really well together and made the time spent much less boring.

Most of Bo's best friends were there so he never had a dull moment. There was plenty of exploring and card playing and hacking things up with an axe to keep them busy.

There is a spider peeking out of Glade's back pocket. It's big and rubber and he had much fun trying to scare people with it.

This is the view from the creek we hiked down to and played in. So beautiful.

Sara, Becca and Brooklyn. The water was too cold but not too deep so they could mostly walk around in it and actually jump and swim in a few spots.

Dalin taking a dip

There were plenty of crawdads to be found so lots of the boys spent their time collecting them.

Brayden and Bo

This is part of the hike to get to the creek. It was steep and not that easy.

If you look right in the middle of the picture, you can see the green water, that's how far we hiked down. The hike was 1.2 miles round trip.

Jono came and stayed a couple of nights with us and we spent a lot of time playing games.

Kylee and Ava keeping dry in the rain.

There was a deserted little home stead that we were able to visit not far from camp. It was built in the early 1900's.

This was there food storage area. A separate little hut with shelves. From all that I've read, I'd guess it was the icehouse.

I just love this picture. Katy and Tessa

Where's the Lesson?

2011-07-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm pretty good at looking for the growth or the "lesson" in the challenges that come into my life. I want to learn from them, grow from them and then move on. This weekend I had an experience that is leaving me empty on how this "works for my good". I will spare you the details, but in short...I was the first one to arrive on the scene of a fatal head on collision on our way back from camping. It was really awful and my little ones were in the car with me and saw way too much. Once we were finally able to get through the wreckage and head back to Payson, I had time to contemplate all that had just happened. Because we were heading to the park for our big 4th of July picnic and lots of people were there, I never had time to really process and be sad about all that had occurred. I fought back tears most of the afternoon and evening and sometimes wasn't so successful, but it wasn't an appropriate time to deal with it. I couldn't hold back, however, when as Katy lay on my lap trying to go to sleep, she mentions that she can't stop thinking about the car crash and that maybe if the fireworks would start, she would be able to stop thinking about it.

The next day (after a terrible nights sleep), I was busy and distracted and was feeling like I was good, I was past the emotional part of it and now I could just move on. I was wrong. At mutual, unfortunately with all my Laurels right there, it all came out. We had an amazing presentation on patriotism and the flag and the story behind the writing of the National Anthem. Then they played the most beautiful rendition of the song I have ever heard. That song always bring my emotions to the surface but tonight was different. I felt the pride and love and.... like I was going to puke. It was so weird and confusing and by the end I really felt sick. During the closing prayer, the tears started to fall and that was the beginning .

I quietly went out the front door out into the dust storm we were having and let it all out. It was a little scary and I felt completely awful that my own children had to see me like that. I guess I just needed to cry it out. Whitley called Glade to let him know she was worried and ask him to come home. He called a couple of our good friends who came over to give me a blessing. I'm so blessed to have so many loving people around me. It was a really long night and my head was killing me, but I think the worst is over. I'm still plagued by the questions of why was it me and why couldn't I help someone and why couldn't I "do" anything. Hopefully I can let that go, I'm sure it could eat me up if I let it. Life happens and it's not always good. My greatest relief is that it was not me with my littlest children in that accident, for a moment or two difference in time and it would have been. I know there are so many who have experienced similar things, every accident has a "first on the scene", but it's always someone else. I'll be fine and I pray that that horrible hour will seep out of little Katy's mind as well. I'm comforted to know that as they cried and waited in the van, they immediately turned to the Lord, I shall do the same.

Cruise - Day 6

2011-06-30T15:50:00.000-07:00

The last day of our cruise was another "fun day at sea". It was really chill and we mostly hung out. It was way too windy to do anything up on top of the ship so we stayed inside most the day. We took another dance class where we learned the Thriller dance and then there were lots of trivia games through out the day. It was also our final formal night where we got to get dressed up in our fancies again. After dinner we attended the farewell show where passengers got to sing as famous people. It was then that I remembered why I don't watch Idol or So You Think You Can Dance type shows. For some reason sitting and watching people perform just isn't very fun to me. Wasn't exactly the best ending to my cruise, but it's all good. We had a great time and I can't wait to go on another!

Cruise - Day 5

2011-06-30T15:10:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: None of these pictures are of anyone I know. Although this was an amazing adventure, they totally screw you when it comes to pictures so we really don't have any of us. Actually, I have a few on a waterproof camera that I will get developed some day but for now, these will at least give you an idea of what we did.

We started with a really awesome 20 min boat ride from one side of Puerto Vallarta to the other. I loved it! Then we rode these really cool military type buses up to the beginning of the trail. From there, we donned our protective safety wear and hopped on mules to get to the very top of the mountain where we would start our adventure down. The very first zip line was just under a thousand feet long and 250 feet in the air. Suprisingly, I wasn't even scared. It was so much fun! In total, we did 9 ziplines, repelled down a water fall and did a free fall repel, went over a few bridges and did one "surprise" zipline that landed you right in the water. Other than the end being tainted by the whole picture rip-off, we had an amazing time.

This is the first zipline, it was so beautiful.

The free fall repel started up on that platform and you just went straight down. Luckily, they pretty much did all the work for you cuz I was not good at repelling!

My mule was so slow and totally stubborn..a mule...can you believe it? We eventually made it to the top, very slowly.

This is the waterfall we repelled down. I hated this part. I've never repelled and after this I never want to again. I couldn't figure it out and ended up upside down twice.

Groovy buses we rode in.

Bo's Belated B-day Party

2011-06-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

Bo's birthday came at a really crazy time this year so we elected to wait till school was out to have his party. Then many of his friends were out of town so we waited even longer. Finally it all came together! We went to a place called Jambo (previously Jeepers and Jungle Jim's). Bo took his most beloved friends: Eli, Braydon, Tanner and Kimball. Jenny and her two little ones came and kept Katy and me company. We only stayed a couple of hours, but they all had a great time. After, we ate pizza in the car since the two littlest fell asleep shortly after buckling them in. He was very happy with how it turned out and sometimes it's even kind of fun to have your birthday twice!